Great beach trip but life's a beach...3 mo. pcr

[merryBe]

Well I had the greatest 2 months of this decade, got to get out in my garden and plant a HUGE garden, tons of new shrubs and roses, catch up my taxes, and feel human for the first time in 2 years.
88 wks of chemo stole away all of my strength and most of my joy, it's been good to feel that coming back...makes you really see life anew.

SO things were looking up...got away to the beach for 3 days (1st trip in 4 yrs)..

and the beach was great!!  

but came home to face the music..knowing my labs were in process.

and yes life is a beach...more at sometimes than others.

the "beach is"...my HCV is back.  How's that for a summer fizzle.

I'd cuss but we aren't allowed...so duck, carp and then some.

mb

[frijole]

I am so very sorry.  I know you gave it a good long shot.  Some of us have such resistent virons it is amazing.  I hope you can plant more and enjoy that garden and maybe -- when the PIs hit the market, in a couple of years -- we will all regroup and try this again.

frijole

[bajawoman]

Hola just heard and I am sad MerryBe  but you will survive to be better than before in so many ways  abrazos besos and positive thoughts for a speedy recovery from this bummer of news  
baja

[GoofyDad]

I'm really sorry for you Merry. THis is a huge a huge disappointment.

[merryBe]

wow, I'm just really really touched that you all responded so tenderly.

All I can say is, and it took a few days for the shock to settle in...

all that I could do, I did. All that seem reasonable, prudent or had a scientific basis, got done,
and all the prayers also. My hubby and I both were in prayer, as were many of you.

But I love what St. Paul once said "thank you all that you have not judged me, in this thorn in my flesh which God has seen fit not to heal"....and elsewhere he said "this God, who has given us such beauty and mercy in this life, shall we not be willing to drink of whatever cup He gives us, be it joy or be it suffering?"

This comforts me, knowing this too can be a refining fire.
And a gift does not always come in a well wrapped package...
sometime a shabbily wrapped gift can be one that when opened becomes  a true source of beauty. The joy of each day, the need to love more utterly and completely, the willingness to surrended every corner of our lives, these gifts have come from this awful HCV. Who would have thought??
No, I would not have chosen this disease, but I'm reminded that it has brought eternity into a far fuller focus, and given me time to appreciate much that I used to take for granted. The glass remains half full as long as we can say the the last word to any story....is love.

As far as treatment, I'm not in any hurry, This last treatment was a full year and a half on the couch first because of the gall bladder exploding and liver inflammation, then because of the 10 Hemoglobin, at which level I could not function.

So I will have to wait for the PI's WITH rescue drugs to even think of retreating.

I am so sorry that any have to join the relaspe list...but at least, we have each other.

that's all for now..I just finished folding our small corporation due to all this health stuff, and now I have a hundred more forms to fill out....but as Arnold once said, I'll be back.

mb

[Nomadpixie]

MerryBe, I am really sorry to hear this news, I know how hard you worked to get SVR this time around with the length of tx you endured...
Thinking of you lots.
Pix & Jb....XX

[thegypsy9164]

Well, Merry

There is the obvious concern as to the virus returning and I am right there with you on that.  The thing that inspired me was that you seem to be doing the quote I put in my profile; "Trying hard to focus on the flower instead of the thorn."  Relive your trip over and over and go do it again.  Live every day as if it is your last and see the beauty in everything.  
Joey