Aa
Stress on the Family- Stress on me. I can't take a separation.
Things are getting harder by the day, now my Wife, who has been so supportive is saying she can't take it anymore and wants to separate. She says that I Am overbearing and verbaly abusive. I live for my family and my kids, and i dont know what to do. I am very ittitable sometimes, I just came back from the Doctor's office and they want me to see a psychiatrist, as I am very Disraeught. What does this all mean, what shall I do? I feel that my only strenth came from the love of my family, my own strenth is so depleted.What do I do if my wife wants to separate from me?
Thank you people. I wonder how much of my behaviour is caused by my virus, by my condition and how much is caused by my background, my gender my anger, etc. I havw been in denial for a long time. I just got the results of my MRI , and.. yes the report does say that i am Cirrhotic indeed. To top things off my wife isn't doing well either although her illness is not life threatening. She has CFS. Sometimes she cant get up either.
We have 2 beautiful kids who deserve the best, and I hope we are going to beat all of this. I believe that I have tremendous willpower and that your mind can effect illness.
You have all been very nice to me on this thread, and the comments here have helped me to see my situation a little more clearly. I have to be a statistic, but it is interesting to see patterns in behaviour are similar in people. The hep c itself makes you Irritable and moody does it not? perhaps my bad attitude, and jerk behaviour was in part caused by the virus?
Now I am taking SAM-e and am already acting better.
People have said we need a marriage counselor.
We have 2 beautiful kids who deserve the best, and I hope we are going to beat all of this. I believe that I have tremendous willpower and that your mind can effect illness.
You have all been very nice to me on this thread, and the comments here have helped me to see my situation a little more clearly. I have to be a statistic, but it is interesting to see patterns in behaviour are similar in people. The hep c itself makes you Irritable and moody does it not? perhaps my bad attitude, and jerk behaviour was in part caused by the virus?
Now I am taking SAM-e and am already acting better.
People have said we need a marriage counselor.
The stress on my wife has been remarkable. I did not even know I had become such an ass until I had a serious of outbursts. Have you read the Riba rage thread below?
I finally had to go on Lexapro (anti-depressant/anti-anxiety) because my temper was flailing and my sleep patterns were ridiculous. Until the Lexapro kicks-in, I use small doses of Klonipin to keep the edge off.
I am not a fan of A-Ds or sedatives; but I need to remain sane and need my family. For me, there is no point of getting well if I lose my family doing it!
Talk to your Dr about anxiety, depression, sleeping, and rage; and don't hesitate, do it soon.
I finally had to go on Lexapro (anti-depressant/anti-anxiety) because my temper was flailing and my sleep patterns were ridiculous. Until the Lexapro kicks-in, I use small doses of Klonipin to keep the edge off.
I am not a fan of A-Ds or sedatives; but I need to remain sane and need my family. For me, there is no point of getting well if I lose my family doing it!
Talk to your Dr about anxiety, depression, sleeping, and rage; and don't hesitate, do it soon.
snook - you are a very wise young man...the letter you printed was very true to heart and insightful. thank you. i know i will use it often.
biophil - i'm so sorry about your troubles...you know, i was on the other side of this coin 6 years ago when my husband was diagnosed with kidney failure (also hep-c; liver damage minimal, a 1 and they focused on kidneys) anyway, he had two long years on dialysis, and then a kidney transplant. we had three young girls and i resented his illness, i was angry with him. he grew depressed and we grew apart. not a good situation for anyone. we went to councelling, both together and apart. it helped tremendously. I've been on AD's since b4 then but they changed my meds. i'm on them now with tx and also an anti anxiety medicine but i still am short tempered then can cry in a matter of seconds. my girls are doing their best; they all go to councelling (different councellors - they all have different needs - you need to find the right one) but i will still show them snooks letter to help them better understand what i'm going thru.
My husband died april '03; he just turned 50 in feb. With the help of councelling i was able to be by his side thru all the years he was ill and even his good years after transplant. i held his hand and wiped his tears and told him how much i loved him all the day he died. i have no regrets, and i miss him like hell....
bring your wife here. i hope she comes and reads and understands. always remember tho, we are all here for you. this place is the best support i will receive ever.
be well.
<3 michelle
biophil - i'm so sorry about your troubles...you know, i was on the other side of this coin 6 years ago when my husband was diagnosed with kidney failure (also hep-c; liver damage minimal, a 1 and they focused on kidneys) anyway, he had two long years on dialysis, and then a kidney transplant. we had three young girls and i resented his illness, i was angry with him. he grew depressed and we grew apart. not a good situation for anyone. we went to councelling, both together and apart. it helped tremendously. I've been on AD's since b4 then but they changed my meds. i'm on them now with tx and also an anti anxiety medicine but i still am short tempered then can cry in a matter of seconds. my girls are doing their best; they all go to councelling (different councellors - they all have different needs - you need to find the right one) but i will still show them snooks letter to help them better understand what i'm going thru.
My husband died april '03; he just turned 50 in feb. With the help of councelling i was able to be by his side thru all the years he was ill and even his good years after transplant. i held his hand and wiped his tears and told him how much i loved him all the day he died. i have no regrets, and i miss him like hell....
bring your wife here. i hope she comes and reads and understands. always remember tho, we are all here for you. this place is the best support i will receive ever.
be well.
<3 michelle
Boy, do I have to thank you for printing that letter!!! I am going to copy this and send it to all the members of my family who are guilty of doing amd saying all the things it talks about.It is amazing that people will look at you and say, "but you LOOK so much better". Well, I don't feel better, in fact all of these meds are making me feel worse. So, thanks again for finding this and putting it here...I hope it helps but knowing my family as I do they will probably take it as an insult....OH WELL. Have a great day everyone and may God Bless
For all that cannot for any reason get to counseling there are many excellent, reasonble,accredited sites online.
I have used one a few years back and was more then pleased with the results. At the time I was dealing with multiple deaths in the family over a 4 years time span . I just did'nt know how to process the grief.
I am now looking online again . I live in a rural area , do not wish to incur the cost of traditional therapy..
I have used one a few years back and was more then pleased with the results. At the time I was dealing with multiple deaths in the family over a 4 years time span . I just did'nt know how to process the grief.
I am now looking online again . I live in a rural area , do not wish to incur the cost of traditional therapy..
That about sums it up for me! I am printing this for my husband who is not on my list of favorite people right now. I found out I have Hep C on June 16th, I just saw the gastro last Friday and he seems concerned about my stomach pains right now, deal with that first he says...so I had an upper Endo this last Thurs, he took bx's and says call in a week. I puked all day, couldn't keep anything down...Friday I had a headache all day...husband was acting like a jerk all day (connection?)..today he starts a fight first thing in the morning and then leaves for work without a word...Everytime I need him to help me because I am sick or had surgery or whatever, he gets anoyed about it, like I am such a royal pain and why can't I get my own puke bucket? To top it off, my best friend of 20 years is moving to 3,000 miles away to Portland Oregon in a few weeks...I am not having a good week! It was good to find your post and know that all the little things that plague me day to day are not just me...so often I didn't want to go to a bar-b-que or birthday party or spend the whole day with his aunt or whatever...I always look like the anti social one. I'm glad to know it's not my fault, it is what it is...I will leave all of these posts for him to read and maybe he will 'cowboy up'....and I haven't even started treatment yet! yikes!
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