Sudden anger

[tjrusert]

I just suddenly snapped at my husband. Is that what RIBA rage is about. It's so not me. It shocked us both. I said  I was sorry but he is sulking still. I feel really bad. He's my biggest supporter. He came in and turned off my tv and said you need to get up and move. I said " umm I was watching that". Then he turned on the radio and tried to make me dance with him. It was sweet but I got so angry because #1 I was interested in the show and #2 I hate when others make a decision about what I need to do for me. But he was trying to be nice. I feel awful. Does the med have anything to do with it or am I suddenly becoming a mean girl. I really never yell at him. I'm totally stressed now

[Susan_1a_CC]

I would suggest that riba rage aside, the scenario that you posted above would upset any number of people in that your husband didn't show you the courtesy of asking if you were engaged w/ the show.  While his heart was in the right place, his actions, as you wrote them, were rude.  

I can remember being snappish at times while on therapy.  It's enough to deal w/ the stress of the drugs and perhaps, one isn't as ready to deal w/ the unnecessary stresses that pop up and so, one appears to be more inclined to "rage."

Good luck and hopefully your husband is no longer sulking.  If he is than he was motivated by his own needs and not yours - imo.

[suezeeque]

Men want to 'fix' things.  His actions were not rude, IMO.  He was trying to 'fix' something.  He saw you laying about, perhaps getting depressed or what he perceived to be depressed or whatever and he was trying to 'fix' it.

His sulking and hurt feelings are probably more about not being able to 'fix' you rather than the fact that you yelled at him.

I would suggest sitting him down and explaining to him that you will be going through an extremely challenging time.  That there's really nothing he can do to make it better...  So not to even bother trying.  Tell him you understand why he did what he did but he can't make this next, hard few months any better by doing anything but being there for you.

Maybe tell him that rather than trying to figure out what you need, that he should *ask* you what you need.  It won't be forever, you will get better but there's nothing he can do.

My husband was the same way.  I had no depression issues while on treatment but he did!

[pooh55811]

I don't know the exact circumstances or the intricacies of your persoanl life and relationships. Everyone's life and circumstances are different. People have many different ways of relating to each other. Your husband may have meant well and in his own mind may have thought he was helping. However, turn this scenario around. How would he react if you came in and (without asking) turned off the TV program he was watching, turned on the radio, and told him he needed to get up and move.

I have seen this scenario or a similar one occur in friends' and relatives' homes and/or friends and relatives (all females) have complained to me about it. They don't like it, but they often say nothing because that is how their situations are.

However, I agree with Susan that this scenario would not sit well with many people, myself included. Personally, if I was sitting watching a TV program, I would find it very presumptious, rude, and controlling if someone came up and took it upon himself/herself to turn off my program and tell me I needed to get up and move. Whether I was on medications or not, I would not tolerate this. Sometimes feelings and reactions are justified and are not necessarily overreactions due to medications.  

[belle19]

don't worry you're not mean, it's the meds.  if you need to vent your cyber friends are here to listen.  good luck to you.  belle

[Dee1956]

Hi I have been having the same problems.  I had heard of riba rage (which is really interferon) though did not have it like this the first time I treated.  It is a problem for me and I am making a concentrated effort to "try" to be calmer, as Jasmine stated, I get a thought in my head and then it goes from there.
I recently started taking some anti anxiety meds to try to help me through the last 3 weeks of this treatment.  While yesterday was my first day I feel much better today
Good luck to you
Dee
On another note: perhaps your husband was missing your company, was concerned about you and got the idea that if you were moving you would feel better?  I know there are many well intentioned people who say, well if you would get up and walk you would feel so much better.  That may be true however when you feel sick it is difficult to get up and go for a walk.
I have found that many do not understand the side effects of tx

[Advocate1955]

As the spouse of a person who is currently treating, I am going to probably come at this one from a little bit different perspective.  This is my husband's third time treating, and I've seen the rage a few times with each treatment.  I do know the side effects, from reading and from observation, and I am sorry that my husband has to experience all of these side effects and challenges.  I would say that this particular side effect was worse with treatment #2 (daily Infergen injections and 1400 mg Ribavirin).  He is now on triple with Inc.  I feel that it is still his responsibility to control his behavior and how he expresses his feelings to me and to the kids.  Each time that he has expressed that rage through snapping at me or the kids or with the angry facial expression or body language, I have let him know in no uncertain terms that it is verbal abuse and unacceptable to us.  I feel that no matter what, the kids and I didn't cause the problem, and it is inappropriate for him to deflect any rage toward us at any time.  We are here to support him and help him however we can, but he is responsible for treating us respectfully.
Advocate1955