Feel like my life is over

[OCWhiteGirl]

I am 31 years old and I feel like now that I have herpes my life is over. I'm not typically the type to sleep around, but I'm also stand offish about the prospect of relationship because of these damn herpes. I'm not ready to tell a guy I have this **** so I feel like my life is over. I haven't had sex or even dated in a while because of these herpes. Does anyone feel like I do, or ever felt like I do and overcame it? 31 and life is already over.

[nova852]

Well i can't offer much at this point. But I can say I feel the exact same way and I am 22. The best thing for me has been to talk about it on here, and become as educated as possible. It has made it clear that I am not the only one and that has got to be a step! Keep your head up, and i will do my best to do the same. It can't be then end of our lives, look at how many people that have lived great and happy lives with it so far, we are just going to have to be two more of them :)

[slacker101]

If you really break it down, herpes is just an annoying skin infection that sometimes comes out in an outbreak. It's NOT the end of the world and I hardly doubt people are going to be so ignorant not to want to be with you because you house herpes in your nerve ganglion ;) Trust me you will be fine!! You are going through the steps in your brain to learn to live with this and in about a year from now you will be wondering how you thought this was such a HUGE problem!! It's simply not that big a deal!!

[Fairygirlthirty]

When I was diagnosed with herpes 11 years ago I felt the same way.  Over time though I've learned how to live with it and be honest.  I'm now on my second major relationship since diagnosis, and we have a happy and active sex life.  

[gracefromHHP]

Give yourself time - the IDEA of herpes is usually much harder to overcome than actually living with the virus. You can control how many ob's you have. You can control the risk to your partner and get it as low as possible.   Don't let the virus be the one in control - it's not worth it.

If you really don't think you can deal with the small risk of transmission - consider utilizing the herpes dating sites or joining a herpes social group in hopes of meeting someone who also has herpes.  If nothing else it might give you a chance to start talking openly about your herpes with someone else face to face that is "safe" and can help you get more comfortable with it all by the time the person of your dreams finds you :)

grace