Who has herpes, and where? Have both of you been tested to know each others statuses? If not, that's a first step.
Don't think anyone will get excited. Herpes really isn't so much that.
Oral herpes can be transmitted from mouth to mouth by passionate kissing. It can also be transmitted via oral sex from the person from mouth to another person's genitals. Gender doesn't matter. I have genital HSV1 this way, from my partner who has oral HSV1.
Oops, that should say "It can also be transmitted via oral sex from a (positive oral HSV) person's mouth to another person's genitals."