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HIV phobia.

Please just remove question and don't ban my account if it is felt excessive. I believe my scare of HIV has turned into a phobia. I tested 17 days post exposure, negative, 64 days post exposure, negative, and 93 days post exposure, negative. The scare was from oral sex which is considered no risk on here (very low risk everywhere else). The person I was with when asked said he was negative anyway, and when I asked him to test again he agreed and said he was still negative (but I don't know if that's the truth or I can believe it). In the past 3 months while waiting, I had to start taking anti depressants, and pills for panic attacks, and even with all of this I still can't accept that I am very most likely HIV negative. I made a mistake that shouldn't of happen, and now I can't wake up in the morning without being in complete fear. I can no longer have sex with my girlfriend in fear I will pass on, something I most likely don't have. Yet I really can not accept my 3 negative results.  I don't know what else to do or where to turn. It's like this has become a full blown phobia I can't shake.
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20434052 tn?1497820501
The proof is in the test, you were told 3 separate times that you were fine.  Even if you're still in fear you can always wear a condom and have sex with your girlfriend. You can't catch any sort of STD while wearing a non broken condom
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Condom does not protect against all std but always protects against HIV.
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