Alright, this is getting really old....
I got my third freak out in less than a friggin' week! I swear my hormones are over the roof, I am just not myself when I get the 'hormone attack', and it's getting more and more as I get closer and closer!
First one was thursday when I came home from work and was gonna have dh's cousins over (from CT). It's bad as it is since all the rooms in my house are disaster zones. Maddie's room is under construction, the other guest room is packed with baby stuff and just cr**p in general..., and they were gonna have to stay in the living room... (yeah, where we left Maggie, my stupid dog, hang out while we were at work).... not the best move ever...., I came home and found my couch's cushion ripped in pieces (mind you, those couches are nice and almost new!!!), cushion case ripped and bones everywhere, shoes everywhere, and that nice dog smell all over the place!!!!!
OH MY GOD.... I just couldn't help it for freak out! dh was golfing, I tried calling him, didn't answer, i started getting so mad... what if something happened and there's dumba$$ golfing!!!?? without cellphone???
Needless to say I had to work my @$$ off to clean the room, scrub floors, repair couch, wash blankets, shampoo rug... blah blah blah... by the end of the day, I kid you not, i had bright red balloons for feet...
Second freak out....
So dh leaves to go to his dad's with his cousins and leaves stupid dog in the house without confining her (I was upstairs in the potty), and this lady at work made this EXQUISIT apple bread for me..., she put the time and the thought for me and i just felt so good, the bread was AMAZINGLY tasty so i decided to just cut a little piece so i could have it longer....
yeah right....
I come downstairs to find the bag the bread was in.... all ripped in pieces on my recently scrubbed living room....
and the dog licking her chops....
OMG!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
I called dh and ripped his head off!!!! why in the LIVING HELL would he do that??? he knows!!! that damn dog is evil! and he leaves food on the counter where she can reach? not to mention leaves her unsupervised?!?!?!?!
Third freak out.....
Last night... I asked dh to cuddle with me and he got all grumpy and barely passed his arm over my back..... then i asked him what he felt for his daughter (since he never puts his stupid hand on my belly to feel her, nor he kisses her, nor talks to her!!!) and he just said 'oh... i dunno'....
I said 'why are you so afraid of being affectionate with your unborn child?!?' he goes 'im scared'... i said 'i am too, and that doesn't stop me from loving her!!!!' he goes 'im scared you'll freak out on the baby like you freak out on the dog'.....
And im just thinking... 'freaking out on the dog is a lot different than with my child!!!!'.... plus, yeah, i might freak out, burst, get over with it... and keep going! where as him, he freaks out 'calm', swallows it and lets it out caving up and being a jerk!!!
We spent hours talking, crying, yelling..... argh!!!! Our intimate life is down the toilet... (TMI..we haven't had any 'encounter' in like 3 to 4 months!! last time we tried I was too tired, told him i couldn't and ever since he just refuses to start anything!!) our romantic life is non-existant and with baby and parents coming... guess what!?!?!?! my marriage is F'ed up!!!!!
=(
I feel so ill today... we went to bed by 1am... and got up by 5:40 this morning! my stupid dog has stinky anal glands that not only explode every 2 weeks now, but in less than that she had an 'accident' again! so now i don't know if we need to take her to the vet to squeeze those damn things every week?!?!?!?! 15 dollars each time?!?!?!?! We do NOT have money!!!!!
I am so upset girls... i know i am being VERY stupid, and I feel LIKE A HORRIBLE MOM for making my baby so upset... she was squirming around the whole time!! and one time she kicked so hard i could actually HEAR! the kick!!!
=(
Anyways, thank you for 'listening' girls!! i needed to vent really bad.....