Aa
Best option...or selfishness?
alright... this is my first time posting on here... but i have a question for anyone that would like to answer...
i am 18 and about 11 weeks pregnant. the father of the baby is in the Navy, somewhere in Virginia, and not in the picture.
after the initial shock, my family is beginning to become more and more excited about it. but i, on the other hand, am not sure i can give this baby the best home in the world. i am considering giving the baby up for adoption, but i'm scared of the reaction of my family. this will be my mother's first grandchild, and she is the main source of the excitement. am i being selfish, or what?
i know i should have thought this all through before i decided to have sex, and i wish i could have taken it back, but i try to live my life with no regrets.
what do i do, and where do i go from here?
i am 18 and about 11 weeks pregnant. the father of the baby is in the Navy, somewhere in Virginia, and not in the picture.
after the initial shock, my family is beginning to become more and more excited about it. but i, on the other hand, am not sure i can give this baby the best home in the world. i am considering giving the baby up for adoption, but i'm scared of the reaction of my family. this will be my mother's first grandchild, and she is the main source of the excitement. am i being selfish, or what?
i know i should have thought this all through before i decided to have sex, and i wish i could have taken it back, but i try to live my life with no regrets.
what do i do, and where do i go from here?
Just by the way you are talking I think that you come across as a very responsible person. I really think that once you start feeling your baby move and see the baby on ultrasound you will fall so deepley in love you will do whatever it takes to have this baby and be it's mother. I could see if you were homeless had no family to help or support you then you probably should give the baby to some one who could take care of it but to me it sounds like you would be a wonderful mother and your family sounds like they would do whatever they could to help....and when that baby is born and put into your arms there may be NO WAY you can part with it. I wish you the best of luck and hope everything works out. I hope you keep your baby and that you both are so happy!! <3 <3
I think all the other ladies have offered wonderful advice.... Here's the way I see things.
A father isn't someone who donates sperm, or helps to conceive a child.
A father is someone who helps RAISE that child wether it carries his genetics or not. There are ALL types of mothers and fathers out there... including loving aunts and uncles, grandparents, strangers even who choose to raise and give a home to a child.
I think its wonderful that your considering all your options, and especially great that the man you love is willing to consider being with you and helping you through all this.
Prayer is going to be what helps you know gods true purpose.
I'm 22 and when hubby and I were 21, we found out that the baby boy we were carrying had down syndrome. A total shock! but we knew that it wasn't something given to us without thought. Our son, now a beautiful 14mo old has made us closer, our marriage stronger and made both of us stronger people/parents.
We are glad he picked us to have our lil man. And in that same way I believe god has a purpose for you, that baby and the man in your life.
Good luck and I hope no matter your decision that things turn out wonderfully!
A father isn't someone who donates sperm, or helps to conceive a child.
A father is someone who helps RAISE that child wether it carries his genetics or not. There are ALL types of mothers and fathers out there... including loving aunts and uncles, grandparents, strangers even who choose to raise and give a home to a child.
I think its wonderful that your considering all your options, and especially great that the man you love is willing to consider being with you and helping you through all this.
Prayer is going to be what helps you know gods true purpose.
I'm 22 and when hubby and I were 21, we found out that the baby boy we were carrying had down syndrome. A total shock! but we knew that it wasn't something given to us without thought. Our son, now a beautiful 14mo old has made us closer, our marriage stronger and made both of us stronger people/parents.
We are glad he picked us to have our lil man. And in that same way I believe god has a purpose for you, that baby and the man in your life.
Good luck and I hope no matter your decision that things turn out wonderfully!
If you think you should give your baby up for adoption in thought of not being able to provide for it, then it's the best thing to do. That baby is gunna have needs and if you can't meet them, then good for you for realizing that and doing what's best for it.
Don't be afraid of how your family reacts.
If you do decide to put it up for adoption, and they get angry with you, remind them that they're not gunna be the ones whose gatta raise that baby. You are, and you feel that you're not gunna be able to meet with everything that the baby is gunna demand.
Unless your mother will meet up with everything that you cannot, then tell her you're sorry, but it's just not your time for a child.
There will be a right time and place for another grandchild for her. Right now it just wasn't meant to be.
I kinda understand how you feel.
I was 18 when I got pregnant with my daughter, and now I'm having a baby boy on my 20th birthday this November 16th.
It's very hard being a young parent.
We still live with my hubby's parents cuz we can't afford to get our own place right now.
My family is 1800 miles away from me and can't really do much to help me.
It's very hard and I hope that whatever decision you make, it's what YOU feel is right.
I didn't want to keep the baby that I'm having, but in fear of how my family would act, I decided to stay pregnant, and keep him when he's born.
And I will say that after 9 months of pregnancy with this baby, I've grown very attatched to him and am looking forward to his arrival.
You have a long pregnancy ahead of you, so don't jump the gun just yet.
Think hard and clear on everything. Make a list of the Pro's and the Con's and see which one is longer.
Don't make a decision if you feel unsure. You don't wanna give it up for adoption, and once it's too late, regret it and wish you had kept it. And you don't wanna keep it, and later regret it and wish you'd given it to a deserving family.
You're 18. You're an adult.
Being a young parent is very hard, I'm not gunna lie.
But it has it's good points like you won't be a shriveled up prune by the time they're grown and outta the house. And you'll still be somewhat young and get to go out n have fun.
But there's also pro's to waiting for a child like, finishing school, getting a career going and a stable household beforehand, instead of worrying about it when the baby's already here.
Some people are lucky enough to be young, finish everything they need to and have kids all at the same time. lol
Not me, but we're managing and are very fortunate to have hubby's parents to help fill in the holes as we go along.
Good luck and keep us posted!
Don't be afraid of how your family reacts.
If you do decide to put it up for adoption, and they get angry with you, remind them that they're not gunna be the ones whose gatta raise that baby. You are, and you feel that you're not gunna be able to meet with everything that the baby is gunna demand.
Unless your mother will meet up with everything that you cannot, then tell her you're sorry, but it's just not your time for a child.
There will be a right time and place for another grandchild for her. Right now it just wasn't meant to be.
I kinda understand how you feel.
I was 18 when I got pregnant with my daughter, and now I'm having a baby boy on my 20th birthday this November 16th.
It's very hard being a young parent.
We still live with my hubby's parents cuz we can't afford to get our own place right now.
My family is 1800 miles away from me and can't really do much to help me.
It's very hard and I hope that whatever decision you make, it's what YOU feel is right.
I didn't want to keep the baby that I'm having, but in fear of how my family would act, I decided to stay pregnant, and keep him when he's born.
And I will say that after 9 months of pregnancy with this baby, I've grown very attatched to him and am looking forward to his arrival.
You have a long pregnancy ahead of you, so don't jump the gun just yet.
Think hard and clear on everything. Make a list of the Pro's and the Con's and see which one is longer.
Don't make a decision if you feel unsure. You don't wanna give it up for adoption, and once it's too late, regret it and wish you had kept it. And you don't wanna keep it, and later regret it and wish you'd given it to a deserving family.
You're 18. You're an adult.
Being a young parent is very hard, I'm not gunna lie.
But it has it's good points like you won't be a shriveled up prune by the time they're grown and outta the house. And you'll still be somewhat young and get to go out n have fun.
But there's also pro's to waiting for a child like, finishing school, getting a career going and a stable household beforehand, instead of worrying about it when the baby's already here.
Some people are lucky enough to be young, finish everything they need to and have kids all at the same time. lol
Not me, but we're managing and are very fortunate to have hubby's parents to help fill in the holes as we go along.
Good luck and keep us posted!
At least you guys are being realistic about it! I really hope that everything works out between you and the guy you love; sounds like he's a keeper if he's willing to be daddy to somebody else's baby, so I would do whatever I could to stay with him and try to raise your baby with him and become a family. Prayer and thought is all you can do for now...good luck and I'll send some prayers your way too!
i have brought it up--he's willing but he cant make guarantees because he doesn't know where God is leading him in his life. so i dont know. :( oh well we'll keep praying.
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