Best option...or selfishness?

[flammingofrog07]

alright... this is my first time posting on here... but i have a question for anyone that would like to answer...
i am 18 and about 11 weeks pregnant. the father of the baby is in the Navy, somewhere in Virginia, and not in the picture.
after the initial shock, my family is beginning to become more and more excited about it. but i, on the other hand, am not sure i can give this baby the best home in the world. i am considering giving the baby up for adoption, but i'm scared of the reaction of my family. this will be my mother's first grandchild, and she is the main source of the excitement. am i being selfish, or what?
i know i should have thought this all through before i decided to have sex, and i wish i could have taken it back, but i try to live my life with no regrets.
what do i do, and where do i go from here?

[aly79]

i dont think its a selfish act as i gave up 2 of my children for an open adoption it is a very selfless act you want your baby to get the best and something inside you knows you cant do it alone and tons and tons of couples are out there either trying or have been trying for a long time to have a baby to share this is a very unique gift you could give and my children know i loved them that much to give them a better home than what i could give and they love me for that i have been in contact with them and there adoptive parents there whole life if you want to talk more about this pm me

[worrieddd612]

girl i am in the exact same position as you--i am 18 and 10 weeks and i dont think i am ready to be a mom or financially capable. not to mention the father and i just broke up--and i am completely in love with another guy. the thought of marrying the father makes me miserable. we fight all the time--it wouldn't be a good family and we have no money. and i can't be a single mom at 18 i dont even have more than a semester of college behind me--the best job i could get is minimum wage. that cannot support a child. i might be able to feed it but another family could give it a whole lot more. maybe adoption is best sometimes? i am planning on looking into it & praying about it. who knows. keep in touch :) i would love to talk to you.

[Rosa20]

I dont think your being selfish at all!! Like the other girls said its going to change your life the most and its up to you what you decide! I think you relizing that giving your baby up for adoption is very grown up of you and you would be a great mother to relize that someone eles e can care for you baby then you ! ( if thats what you decide to do in the end) You have a ton of time and dont rush your decision! If you do decide to give your baby up for adoption then you would be giving someone a gift that they cannot give themselves and they would be so greatful for that! Some adoptive parents still let you have a part in the babys life to...let you send them gifts and stuff..kinda of be like an aunt to the baby if that was what you wanted!! You ARE NOT selfish and dont let anyone in your life or on here tell you any different( although i expect nothing but support from the girls on here!! ;) lol good luck

[ives1974dillard]

with what i have read i think that god has sent you a speical gift and he wants you to do the best you can with but if you do give it up just remember that you made the right decison and no boby thinks hard of you .

[JoyRenee]

Don't worry about offending people. You have every right to ask your question here. Adoption is both amazing and scary. I don't think it is selfish to want to place your child into a loving home if you feel you cannot provide a loving home. Just know that you have PLENTY of time to think things through. Take things one day at a time. Pregnancy is such a highly emotional time that you definitely can't make these kinds of decisions overnight.

Adoption is also bittersweet. While you are giving someone the most precious gift in the world your world will never be the same again. I'd definitely talk to some birth mothers and adoptive mothers. You can find many blogs out there on the subject.

I also want to add that you haven't even felt the baby move, don't know the gender yet, etc. By the time you start feeling them move and you know their gender it may make things seem more real. And may help you to make a more informed decision if giving up your son or daughter is the right step for you to take. *HUGS*

No matter what you do you'll be doing what is best for them. And that is what makes a woman a great mother.

[flammingofrog07]

...and i deeply apologize to anyone who is offended by this and is trying to conceive and can't.