Best option...or selfishness?

[flammingofrog07]

alright... this is my first time posting on here... but i have a question for anyone that would like to answer...
i am 18 and about 11 weeks pregnant. the father of the baby is in the Navy, somewhere in Virginia, and not in the picture.
after the initial shock, my family is beginning to become more and more excited about it. but i, on the other hand, am not sure i can give this baby the best home in the world. i am considering giving the baby up for adoption, but i'm scared of the reaction of my family. this will be my mother's first grandchild, and she is the main source of the excitement. am i being selfish, or what?
i know i should have thought this all through before i decided to have sex, and i wish i could have taken it back, but i try to live my life with no regrets.
what do i do, and where do i go from here?

[flammingofrog07]

Thank you all for your encouraging comments.
it is not that i don't want this baby. If i decide to keep this baby, i will do whatever i can to give it the best home i can offer. I grew up in a fatherless home with 2 older brothers, 1 older sister, a twin sister and a little brother. Almost all of us have different fathers. I have an amazing mother, and she has changed alot in the last couple years, but she was almost never there for me. It was always her new found fling that always got the attention. This is what i fear for my child. I know i create the path for my baby, and i choose what kind of life i want for myself and my child, but i'm not so sure about this. i love children, and i know there could be other children in my future, but what if there isn't? This child was conceived by two very infertile people. he has a medical condition that strangles the sperm flow, and i've had many many ruptured cysts on my ovaries, and the doctors said i had a low chance to conceive to begin with. so maybe this was meant to be... i'm not sure what to do...

[Victoria01]

I think you have already shown what type of mother you would be by thinking about your child's needs first. Whatever decision you do make, make sure it is YOUR decision and not someone else's. You don't want to regret it later when there is nothing you can do about it. Think hard and think long and most of all think about your little baby. You may not think you're ready, and that very well may be true, but a lot of women and not ready and make wonderful mothers. I'll be praying that you make the right decision for both of you.

[debgunn23]

I agree with gillian but is there a way maybe you can give it up to someone in your family since they seem so excited? Then you can still see your daughter or son grow as well. Just an idea. But i tell you once you see your baby in the delivery room words cant explain how you feel, I was NOT ready for my daughter at all and i was scared of the committment. But once i saw her precious smile and her beautiful eyes staring up at me i cant imagine life without her. But whatever it is you do talk with your mother adoption is a good option too. There are alot of people who cant have kids and the only way for them to have children is through adoption.

[gillianl]

You may not get a lot of responses from this forum as a lot of us are ttc and would love the chance to be in your shoes, i would think about it long and hard and i would also speak to your parents about it more as they may be able to help more than you think.  Not everyone can give their child the best start in life but some parents would bend over backwards to make sure their child was happy even if they didn't have a lot to give them as long as they were happy.

I hope you do the right think with your decision i know it must be hard but in all honesty speak to your parents they may just surprise you!!  best of luck!!

[Quinns momma]

I think it is wonderful that you recongnize you are not in a place in your life right now where a baby would fit into. You are the opposite of selfish in my eyes. I think giving up your child for adoption is a very wise decision.  You cannot have a baby to please someone else. It is YOUR life that would change not your Moms.  You have some time left to mull over your descion but it is you and you alone who needs to decide what the right thing to do is..   Best of luck!