Company right after delivery..

[LauraB78]

Hi ladies..

I am having yet another meltdown..

I will make this as ahort as I can...

My Mom is partially disabled. She lives in FL and I live in MA.. Last week she fell and broke her foot and is in a "boot" of some sort. She told me she wants to come early January and stay until end of January/beginning of February to be here when Jaxson arrives. I told her that was too long of a visit (and she cant help on crutches.), and I wasn't sure I wanted immediate company and we left it at  that.I told her Ken and I had talked a lot about it and he told his family we will call when we are up to company and that we wanted some time to adjust as a new family alone..

I just found out last night she has booked airfare arriving in MA January 7.. I am sooo friggen p!ssed. This is my first child ( I am 30 years old) and I told her I wasn't sure I wanted anyone around and that we were considering have no company for at least a week.. She has booked this as a "surprise" but my niece told me b.c she knew I would be upset. My Mom has been unemployed/disabled for over a year so I know she saved and scrimped to make this trip even possible but I dont want her around for a friggen month! And I didnt want her (or anyone) else around for a week or two..

Ken is also upset b.c he doesnt deal well w. company anyway and thinks it is rude that my Mother is meddlesome. I dont know what to do.. I am freaking out and totally emotional. I tried to be nice about it b/c I obviously love my Mother very much and didn;t want to hurt her feelings, but she is SUPER controlling, and I dont know how to un-do this.. She cant change her flight b.c she cant afford too and I really feel strongly about having some space and just having Ken and I there for the birth, etc.. I am beside myself upset right now..

Any advice?

[LauraB78]

Hi everyone,

Thank you so much for all of your input!

I understand that many people welocme and appreciate the "help." I am just struggling wityh the whole idea b.c like Joy mentioned, I want to bond w. Jaxson and get to know hom without an audience. I havent heard back from my Mother yet, but I will let you all know how it turns out..

I was having contractions (fairly painful) all morning and about an hour ago, they just stopped... I am sad. I was hoping today was the day! It sure would solve the "Mom" problem! =D

Thanks again, you ladies are all great!

And laura, I KNOW.. This pregnancy has been sooo tough on me and I am honestly over it.. But in the grand scheme of things, I think it has sorta gone by quickly as well.. Probably doesnt make sense..,=)

[JoyRenee]

Laura, I completely understand how you feel. While it is fine for some people to want help and company, there is a whole other group of people (which must include you and me!) who just like to try it out on their own without an audience and without someone else stepping in. I hate feeling like someone else is in control of my kids (like correcting them before I even have a chance to formulate a thought about correcting them).

You need TIME and your mother should respect that. I didn't have my mom around. My MIL stayed away unless I invited her and it was all good. I felt like I could try this whole motherhood thing out without someone telling me what to do or having them take over while I just sat there.

You want to bond, you want to get to know your baby's cries and personality, and you want to be in the comfort of your own home. You shouldn't have to feel like taking care of a newborn and a guest (even if it is your mother) and keeping things tidy.

My personal take on it is to tell her to re-book.

[heatherlynn22]

i know how you feel. my company didn't even wait till i got home...they started in the hospital. lol. i was actually staying with my mom when i was pregnant up to 2 months after the dh's and i twins were born (i was a high risk pregnancy and with him being in the marines with how much he worked we decided it was safer for not only the boys but for me as well to stay with my mother. which with how much i was going to the hospital....thank god i was with my mom) i didn't mind having my mom and sister in law there....it was having the entire family there. then when we got home....the neighbors AND the family were there. i was so not a happy camper. i was tired, full of fluid and just wanted to spend time with my babies. just me, the boys and the dh.....but nope. the world was there...lol.

[laura1985]

hey just wondering if your mom ever got back with you?

and i totally understand btw. although i no longer have contact with my mother, she is the same way. our relationship ended when she started pulling her bs when i was planning my wedding. we ended up going off to the courthouse instead, which makes me sad. but my mother is seriously crazy (she is bipolar, so there ya go). im pretty close with my mil and grandmother, but i wouldnt want them in the delivery room either.

hope everything works out. i cant believe its almost time! seems like just yesterday you found out!

[sweetangel7]

I don't have anything to add that hasn't already been said and it seems that you are taking action which I think is good =)

I just wanted to say thanks for sharing those titles of the books...I'm going to look into them...

[kikicoates78]

I can totally relate, but mine is my MIL. this is her first grandchild so she is more than excited. She got mad when I told her she couldn't come to my ultrasound, the big anatomy scan, This is my 3rd child, but my DH's 1st. This is our time, not hers. she already planned on taking vacation the week she was born, I told her it would be a waste, she did change it to the 3rd week, my DH has to go back to work then. I love her we get along great, but she is also over stepping. I say be harsh, your mom will get over it just as my MIL did.

I will say this though even someone around to help tidy up a bit, or make a meal is nice. You and K will be so exhausted, and it is very sraining on a relationship :(  Good luck hun!