Telling people about miscarriage

[needhelp24121]

I was 8 weeks pregnant and I miscarried 6 weeks ago. My husband and I didn't tell anyone about the pregnancy. Should we tell people about the miscarriage even though they didn't know about the pregnancy?

[dani31]

It's one of the worst things you will every deal with.  Just try and let yourself feel what you need to feel, take as much time for yourself as you need to and cling to your husband.  He is in need of you as well right now.  Telling others did help me get through it. It also helped that people knew so when I was moody or weepy they realized why.  I ended up getting a small necklace with each of what would have been their birthstones attached to it.  I have it hanging from my rearview mirror.  Because with a miscarriage there really isn't any type of memorial, this helps me to know that they aren't/won't be forgotten.  Hang in there.  It will happen for you.  Just keep the faith.  

[mum2beagain]

I told friends and family about my losses too. Reactions were mixed, some were very sympathetic and their support helped greatly. Others took the view "Oh well, it wasn't even really a baby yet" which hurt (and that was from a close family member). If you want to tell those who you feel will be able to comfort and support you during this time.
Take care.

[needhelp24121]

We didn't tell anyone about the pregnancy yet because like dani31 we were going to do something special and never got the chance. I was about 8 weeks prengnant when I miscarried. It was our first child, my parents first grandchild, his parents sixth grandchild. I am the oldest and he is the youngest.

To tearymom2010: I'm actually not dealing with it all that well. I do have good days, but mostly I have bad days. I do cry a lot and the emotional pain is intense. I guess its all a part of the grieving process. I'm sure with time we will eventually feel less pain, but the pain will always be there.

[StressheadNZ]

I took the approach of being open and honest about my losses helped. What good does it do keeping all the hurt inside? I was surprised how supportive people can be and it helped me to accept it and move on. I hope you're coping ok x

[tearymom2010]

I am so sorry- how are you dealing with it- i ask only becasue that is what the doctors are predicitng for me- i can't stop crying-the pain is intense -emotionally - that is- anyway in answer to yur qn- i think you should do what makes you feel comfortable- it is okay if you tell your close family/friends or not- take care

[AnnieBrooke]

It's not like miscarriage is something to be ashamed of, and if you are in grief, your friends will want to know why.  There is a lot of support out there among women who have had miscarriages.  I wouldn't hesitate to tell your closest friends and your family that you have miscarried, even if you hadn't announced the pregnancy yet.

[dani31]

Do what makes you feel most comfortable.  It's all about you right now.  I went through the same thing and ended up miscarrying twice.  Both times we didn't tell anyone about the pregnancies because my husband and I were planning something special to announce them but never got the chance too.  We did end up telling people about the miscarriages as we needed support to get through them.  We are now pregnant for the 3rd time and told people right away.  Things are going well this time!! :-)  
Good luck and remember to do what you need to at this time to heal.  

[Clysta]

It would probably confuse a lot of people or make them wonder why you would tell them you miscarried, but didn't tell them about the pregnancy as well. The choice is of course yours to make.