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Avatar universal

suicide?!?!

Okay I know I'm going to get a lot of negative comments on this but I need help and this just hit me yesterday so I haven't had time to seek professional help. So I was with my boyfriend for 3 years, I'm crazy obsessed with him till this day and he is with me we love each other soooooo much but we had broken up for a few months and I moved on and he moved on but we ended up having sex and he finished inside me (we were not together) and he did something that made me really upset so I had sex with a friend a week later and he finished inside me as well (he says he didn't and wants no part) so a month later I find out I'm pregnant and me and the guy I love got back together. He doesn't know what I did though and I never thought about it until now, were getting married in a few days and I was so excited we love this baby but yesterday he called me crying that he had a fight with his mom  and that she asked for a DNA test and that's when it finally hit me how stupid and such a **** that I was :'( I been going CRAZYY literally since yesterday I want to kill myself thought about hurting my baby but I just can't I'm seriously going crazy I've been laying in my bed kicking and screaming and praying for the past 5 hours. I don't want to choose between my babys life, mine or my relationship with the love of my life. Losing any of those would kill me!! I'm 10 weeks pregnant and I'm 18 years old Im getting married but now not looking forward to having this baby because it might not be his!! Idk what to do!! I'm so lost, confused, deppressed, crazy!! Please I need advice.......judge me if you must but I really dont need it........
77 Responses
Avatar universal
Well, I won't judge you because I'm not God. Please do not do anything drastic. What you need to do is seek professional help. You definitely need help hun. Also you need to be honest with your fiance. If he loves you, your relationship can make it through anything but he will not forgive if u do not tell him. People make mistakes and they do stupid things. You are young and I'm sure you will have more mistakes but hopefully not to the extent that this is. I sincerely hope this has helped in some way. But really start with telling the whole truth and if you guys have another fight or he makes you mad, please have the other guy wrap it up.
1972798 tn?1355549267
Suicide is not the answer. Its not only going to hurt you and your baby but a ton of people as well!!! If he knows that its possibly not his and is ok with that and wants to be the father blood does not matter. He wants to marry you still it sounds like and he loves the baby even if its not his... You need to talk to him. Yes DNA will tell for sure whose it is but it doesnt mean he cant be the babies father!! So I suggest you talk to him about it and get his take on if he wants DNA or not. You cant get that done anyways until you have the baby but killing yourself or the baby isnt going to help anyone out. If you guys love eachother and it sounds like you do then thats what matters. Nobody is perfect and you have to remember that. Everyone makes mistakes! But you need to stay strong and healthy for you and your baby. Everyone is going to have opinions about what is going on and his mom may be mad now but you need to do whats best for you your boyfriend and your baby!!! Look at the big picture though and what you will be in 5 years. In 1 year even and take each day step by step. Hope that helps some! :) Keep your head up you will get thru this just fine. Prayer will help tho and I will keep you in mine. And yes you should go see a councelor if you can.
Avatar universal
I can't tell him :'(!! I just can't what if he leaves me and hates me forever!! I've already hurt him once!! And he loved me through it but our relationship just didn't make it!! He's giving me all his trust now and I can't have him leave me because what if he leaves me and I lose my baby then I will have nothing!! :'(
1972798 tn?1355549267
You have to be honest with him. It will be the best for both of you in the long run. How did his mom find out about it possibly not being his?? Sorry I thought he knew but she didnt so thats why my last comment was written the way it was.
Avatar universal
I went through the EXACT same thing! At the same age. The whole exact story is.me I swear! I.mean I could have just written you're entire post three years ago. The very best thing to do is tell him. Explain you thought it was over and made a.mistake but weather this baby is biologically his its his because he's the one you want and the one you want a baby with. If he truly loves you he may be mad but will accept it and move on. I did this and we had a DNA test and guess what? The baby is not biologically his but he doesn't care he loves him all the same. Now he and I aren't together but because of entirely different reasons. I will keep you in prayers.
Avatar universal
Thank you but because I think she doesn't want us to get married so soon but he wants to marry me so bad and loves this baby he doesn't question it whatsoever :( but his moms brother supposedly heard I was talking to 34 guys on Facebook when that is impossible because my boyfriend has my password and now his whole family questions the baby I'm scared they might talk him into DNA testing
1972798 tn?1355549267
Well you can check but I dont think his family can take your baby. You have to agree if they go to court and ask for DNA but they cant just take the baby without you knowing.
Avatar universal
Ah I'm so scared :'( my parents love my bf if they find out its not his they will hate me and my baby :(
2020005 tn?1476658962
First of all, the second you see that baby, he/she will take priority over your boyfriend, there is NOTHING like a child's love, second of all, if you get married, and you do a paternity test and it's not his, then he's going to be even more hurt that you weren't honest with him. Put yourself in his shoes, if he sees how remorseful you are, he might be sympathetic. And only being a week apart, it's hard telling who's it is, BUT, do you know the date of your last missed period, how long your cycles usually are, when you ovulate? Did your doctor give you a conception date?
Avatar universal
There is a saying I live by.."Going to have to trust that being turned away from anything or anyone is simply Gods way of saying, Careful kiddo you were going the wrong way". This means that if he leaves you then it wasnt the right path and there is something else waiting for you. Trust me I have been through Hell and back and now see that it was all leading me to were I am now. Suicide is not the answer. Sometimes you will feel like it really is but when you get older you will look back at how your life turned out and you will see what you missed out on...keep your head up and know that know matter what you are a fighter!
2133163 tn?1350518235
Don't do anything you'll regret. Try not to think so negatively. I promise that everything is gonna be ok. Don't let anyone stress you out. If the baby its your husbands then that's fine if its the other guys oh well. Anything that happens is for a reason. You just have to think on the bright side. Dont even think of suicide. Call someone close to you and tell them how your feeling. please pray.
1972798 tn?1355549267
You will have a better idea of whose it is by when your period started like KT said. And I totally agree your baby is going to love you no matter what. Nothing will matter when you hold that baby and you may think that about  your parents but something about babies I just feel like people cant hate them because they didnt do anything. I dont mean that in a mean way but babies make people happy and your parents will love your baby no matter what. They may be sad and dissapointed and angry but i believe they will eventually get over it and it will all turn out right. Just think you are going to be able to hold your baby in 30 weeks and its going to go FAST!!! You have lots of support on this forum and even though we dont know who you are and you dont know us you have people praying for you and that is what is so wonderful and amazing is that people you dont even know care about you and your baby and you can alsways ask for help on here. Still you need to talk to someone close to you because you shouldnt go thru this alone. Its not healthy for you.
Avatar universal
I'm surprised nobody didn't tell you this but what goes around comes around. How'd you feel if he cheated on you? Any guy that forgives someone that done them wrong is pretty naive :/ Perhaps you should consider going on the Maury Povich show. "You are NOT the father!" Sorry but I won't encourage those who cheats. You should let us know what the paternity tests results are.
1752977 tn?1418221796
I agree with all the posters. Except the last one. You didn't cheat, so don't think you did. You were seperated at the time so ignore that post. But, I think you need to be honest with him.
Avatar universal
Thank you all for the help, I'm just so scared. And No the doctor just gave me a due date based off of my past period .. is it possible to find out the conception date?
1752977 tn?1418221796
What is your due date? How long are your cycles? When was your last period? And what are the dates you had sex?
Avatar universal
Thank you all so much for trying I'm just so scared ... And is it possible to find out exact conception date?
756023 tn?1338520435
I'm sure if you google conception date you can figure it out. Take care of yourself and your baby.  Honesty is important in any relationship.  You need to discuss the situation with him.  Just think about if the roles were reversed.  Would you be more hurt if he didn't tell you and you found out the wrong way (3rd party or paternity test) compared to if he communicated the situation early in preparation for what the future may bring?  Wishing you all the best!
1936698 tn?1333915193
I sent you a link in your inbox on here for a conception calculator.
1967331 tn?1327880044
if you can answer the questions amy posted just before you that shoukd give you a pretty good idea of conception date... hunny if he loves you as much as you say he does you really need to be honest with him and let him make that decision if he wants to stay or not it woukd be fair to him if you didnt tell him what happen and if by chance he does want dna and he isnt the father you will have a bigher problem on your hands... and ignore that comment from latsany that was really unneccessary and not encouraging at all. i really hope you dont thing any more about hurting yourself or baby they are both precious lives no matter what has happened if you feel like that again please make sure tou seek help from someone even if you just come here to vent we will try to encourage you. your life is worth living for your baby.
Avatar universal
Suicide is not the answer to ur problems, be teue to urself and him. I will tell u I got married at 18, I had one daughter and was pregnant. I divorces by 21. And I got with an old friend and became pregnant, now I have a son from him and im 18 wks pregnant. And he left me, so I will hav 4 kids and ill only be 24, honey they world is not gonna end if a man leaves you. Dont be selfish in that aspect, your childs love is unconditional. Trust me when I tell u that I wouldnt be the end of the world, and in 5 yrs from now, what u think ur life will be like, may not be. U just gotta be a strong woman and fight for your child. I do everyday, im a single mother, I work, and I have no help, but my mother. And ur mother will never hate you so dont ever say that. Gd luck and keep ur head up, talk to God, for he is the only one that knows his plan for you. Take care of yourself, and stay true. Liars are decievers.
Avatar universal
Being honest is the best way to go about this ! He can't b mad at u for being with someone else cuz u weren't together. But if u keep lying to him he will find out ! Lies r always caughtone day  N once he finds out he will deff. B able to b mad at u for that! best thing b honest now n see how it goes. Or wait till he finds out on his own n that hurts a lot more ! N then leaves u for lying wether it's his baby it not u have to start ur relationship off right n b honest

N u can get dna done b4 the baby is born, u have to b at least 10weeks but it cost A LOT depending on which one of the 3 u get done
Avatar universal
You have to tell him cause if you dont he might hate you even more for keeping it from him for so long. Tell him the truth if he loves you he will still be with you. Better he knows from you than anyone else.
Avatar universal
You have to tell him cause if you dont he might hate you even more for keeping it from him for so long. Tell him the truth if he loves you he will still be with you. Better he knows from you than anyone else.
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