Aa
Most females annoy the hack out of me. How do I get over it?
I feel threatened by nearly ALL females!!!!!!
by tigerjoe21
My mother have no respect for men! She will do whatever is on her power to subdue them to a role of complete submission to her. Once they are under her domain, she humuliates them to the extreme. I hate my father for never standing up to her. All my step fathers fell into the same trap. I HAVE NEVER, EVER SUBMITTED TO HER!!!!! Rarely has she been uble to control me. Nevertheless, I can't stand women in any position of authority over men. The slighest deviation of the traditional "female" role poses a threat to me. I then slip into a "defence" mode and before I know, I am at war with them for no other reason than STAND-UP to them for attempting to excersise control over me! I all reflects back on my mother controlling all the men in her life. This has caused me to wage many useless battles against women. I lost many jobs for refusing to submit to them. While I do realize that not all women are controling, I perceive them all as a threat, and am never able to trust or lower my guard to any of them, with very few exception. I deal with the problem by avoiding them altogether including sex. I am being radical and irrational!!!! I do not want to continue going through life in a never ending power struggle with females. Stay away and avoiding them has been my tactics until now, but is seems so shallow to me that I do not have a better tool to overcome this problem.
by tigerjoe21
My mother have no respect for men! She will do whatever is on her power to subdue them to a role of complete submission to her. Once they are under her domain, she humuliates them to the extreme. I hate my father for never standing up to her. All my step fathers fell into the same trap. I HAVE NEVER, EVER SUBMITTED TO HER!!!!! Rarely has she been uble to control me. Nevertheless, I can't stand women in any position of authority over men. The slighest deviation of the traditional "female" role poses a threat to me. I then slip into a "defence" mode and before I know, I am at war with them for no other reason than STAND-UP to them for attempting to excersise control over me! I all reflects back on my mother controlling all the men in her life. This has caused me to wage many useless battles against women. I lost many jobs for refusing to submit to them. While I do realize that not all women are controling, I perceive them all as a threat, and am never able to trust or lower my guard to any of them, with very few exception. I deal with the problem by avoiding them altogether including sex. I am being radical and irrational!!!! I do not want to continue going through life in a never ending power struggle with females. Stay away and avoiding them has been my tactics until now, but is seems so shallow to me that I do not have a better tool to overcome this problem.
Tell you something...if you can't beat them you gotta love them...women are women and always will...as to your mother ? sorry to hear you grew up around this but really...you should open your mind and have relationship with a woman that is not controlling....unless you think that every woman is...if that's the case please get help. This can be more than you let out.
I am picking up on a whole lot of rage here. It almost sounds like you hate women, if this is the case, please get a counselor who can help you undo the damage done you. Before it ruins your life and those around you. The anger I am picking up really is disturbing to say the least. I hope you can find help for this potentially serious problem.
'While I do realize that not all women are controling, I perceive them all as a threat, and am never able to trust or lower my guard to any of them, with very few exception. I deal with the problem by avoiding them altogether including sex. I am being radical and irrational..'
Is that why you have abandoned all of us trying to help already?
Is that why you have abandoned all of us trying to help already?
My mother was distant and my father was violent when I was growing up. I'm still trying to have normal relationships, but I'm totally missing normal maternal feelings, so I never had kids. I'm 45 now. I did not address my issues with long-term therapy; just treated the anxiety and depression. I don't know how old you are, but you admit it's affecting work as well as personal relationships, so I think you need to talk to a psychiatrist and see what the best kind of therapy would be for you.
If I made the rules, only gentle, loving and nurturing women would be fertile, and only strong, wise and gentle men would be fertile, but that's not how it works.
If I made the rules, only gentle, loving and nurturing women would be fertile, and only strong, wise and gentle men would be fertile, but that's not how it works.
First of all, sorry you had to go through that, really *****. It's great that you posted. I think that until you go back and get really pissed off at your mom (in therapy, not in real life) and unplug this early trauma you will continue to feel this way.
Luckily there is no other woman like your mom, so you will never have to encounter that again. What happens is that you see her anytime any woman is a little tiny bit like her. Deal with the source of the problem, pull it out by the root. Take a year or so of intensive therapy or psychodrama or whatever helps you get every single last drop of your understandably raging feelings out... then you will start to notice a difference I bet.
I'm so glad you asked for help. Seriously, most women want nothing more than to be your friend, your equal and to be treated with respect.
Hope you find that out for yourself! Good luck in your healing.
I think this is terribly sad. It just goes to show how much power a mother can have. I hope, tigerjo, that in your rational mind you do realize that not all women are like that. I too think it would be a good idea to get some therapy. I wish you the best.
at least you have an understanding of all your emotions and the way they derived. that's a start
I would stay away from any kind of intensive therapy, especially with a therapist who talks little and does not level with you.
it would be a disaster. I mean, I have issues too, we all do, and I got totally dependent on the therapist and crazy, so this is even more of a danger with you because your problem is so serious in the 'relationship'.
It's dangerous, and most therapists like that are not all that
good.
The best therapy I have ever encountered in psychodrama. It's great and done in a group. It sort of hits you in the gut where you need it most. you already have it all figured out intellectually anyway and that does not lead to change; the gut part does, and where you just want to.
it would be a disaster. I mean, I have issues too, we all do, and I got totally dependent on the therapist and crazy, so this is even more of a danger with you because your problem is so serious in the 'relationship'.
It's dangerous, and most therapists like that are not all that
good.
The best therapy I have ever encountered in psychodrama. It's great and done in a group. It sort of hits you in the gut where you need it most. you already have it all figured out intellectually anyway and that does not lead to change; the gut part does, and where you just want to.
i agree with the need for therepy. a women would maybe not be a bad choice. just make sure it is a reputable(sp.?) one. if you get the wrong one they could really screw you up. i was in the opposite parent relationship. it was my dad and i am a women. i have a hard time always letting my hubby be in control.
Sometimes, catie..this has been my experience. This guy was awfully honest with us and about what he told us. I admire that about him.
But sometimes, when you say too much the first time, people have a hard time dealing with that afterwards. (like, it often happens in therapy, that someone like that will not come back for a second session)
I hope he will, though, too. very intelligent man, and I have empathy with his problem. it seems huge to me.
But sometimes, when you say too much the first time, people have a hard time dealing with that afterwards. (like, it often happens in therapy, that someone like that will not come back for a second session)
I hope he will, though, too. very intelligent man, and I have empathy with his problem. it seems huge to me.
No, I did not read it, or see it. It's OK to make mistakes, and to say you are sorry. Better 'real' than 'perfect'.
When slow-healer is responding to catie, where does that come from? She did not even comment on this post. I don't understand why the response to someone's comment who did not respond.
Thanks, RockRose, BTW, you are always offering to explain when I have a question, and you most often know, too. I have not been around for a while. Kat
Thanks, RockRose, BTW, you are always offering to explain when I have a question, and you most often know, too. I have not been around for a while. Kat
katarina, who said they are the same person? I completely disagree with whoever (if anyone) said that.
Could someone enlighten me as to the relationship between a catie and tigerjo? Are they the same, and if, how do you know that so readily.
As to tigerjoe, I am impressed with your insights. Must be really hard to have/have had a mother like that, and like you say, father like that.
Just remember this. if you are sort of the exact opposite of both your mom and dad, then it's sort of the exact same, because it's not 'you' but only a reaction.
As to tigerjoe, I am impressed with your insights. Must be really hard to have/have had a mother like that, and like you say, father like that.
Just remember this. if you are sort of the exact opposite of both your mom and dad, then it's sort of the exact same, because it's not 'you' but only a reaction.
I think making an appointment with a "female" therapist would be very helpful to you. For you to be able to confide and work with a female to help you get past the effects left on you by your mother. What would you say was the breaking point for you in you coming to this realization and making your thread on here?
Because it was a wonderful 1st step on your part to help yourself.
Hope you can work successfully through all of this.
Because it was a wonderful 1st step on your part to help yourself.
Hope you can work successfully through all of this.
slow_healer has got it right. It's good that you recognise that your reaction to women is not reasonable, and that it's getting in the way of your life. It's good too that you recognise one cause of this. You are already on the way to dealing with this problem, but I don't think you can deal with it alone. Go and discuss this with a counsellor. It's going to take time and effort to address this attitude and turn it around.
to slow healer you whare right i realy wasent thinking but i could have did that what you said hay thank you..
like wis. and what you said on your post about what rr said .dident get that eather and dident bother reading it and in the future dont bother about or posting nothing im talking about.. sence its so hard for you to read... to be honest with you your wrghting isent eny better..
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