Double Standard & Infidelity

[mami1323]

I was reading a book called "Surviving Infidelity" and there was a woman who had been with her husband for a long time and she had put up with 5 years of him being unfaithful.  After tolerating this for so long she eventually cheated only one time and felt so guilty she confessed to her husband immediately.  The next day he began divorce proceedings.  Now speaking with my fiance about what I had read, he agreed, that he would not be able to handle it if I had an affair and probably would never forgive me.  However, I forgave him.  What is your take on this?  Is there a double standard?

[treazzure007]

i don't even believe it's a cultural thing but simply a 'man thing'.  men the world over believe it's acceptable for them to be sexually uninhibited but women better not dare --that's THEIR women better not dare.  it's okay for the women they cheat and mess around with to wear close to nothing and be just as freaky and free as them.  even married men think they've done wives a huge favor by 'settling down'.  if having more than one wife, participating in sex slave trade, and various other practices were widely acceptable here in america, do you doubt that every man wouldn't do it???  huge, huge double standard that i'v found is even so subtly hinted at in the bible.  why?  b/c they have a male 'member'.  that gives them powers, didn't you know?

[babypooh]

I think that unfortunately, men too often think with the wrong head, but they're not all cheaters and each family is different, regardless of race.

[mayflowers]

We learn by modeling.  Most of it is subconscious.   You can break the cycle but it's really hard.  I believe the failure rate is something like 80%.  Yes, it can be done but the person has to do a lot of work, and I mean, ALOT of work to change.  Some would even say it's part biology - like a chemical in brain needs that kind of stimulation.

[mami1323]

Do you ever wonder why some people grow up in a household where there is abuse and wind up either being an abuser themselves or vowing never to be like their abusive parent and break that cycle?  My friend and her brothers watched their father cheat on their mother numerous times and her brother said he would never be like his father, and never has been.  Some people either repeat and some don't.  

[mayflowers]

I am watching The Tudor's right now.  It's about King Henry the 8th.  He cheated all the time and I believe he evenutally died of syphillis.  All cultures seem to have an acceptance of men cheating but women not cheating.  It's b/c women used to be seen as property not human beings.   I think any man that still thinks this way is not a very advanced or enlightened man but rather thinking like a caveman.  Men also take after their fathers.  If their fathers cheated, many times they will too b/c that's their role model.  It's a hard cycle to break.

[mami1323]

Women would never make these rules.  It just shows how men and women are completely different from one another.