Im suicidal.my husband calls me bad names and says he doesn't love me. please help?

[girl198]

thank you for reading and answering

im 24,my husband is 30
together nearly 4 years, married less than a 1 year

whenever he gets angry,

he calls me bi tch, ****, ***** etc
says he does not love me
says he wants to divorce me
says he will do what he wants and does not care if im sad or happy

and he gets angry at least once a month. it was like this before marriage too.but i married him coz i loved him very much and everytime i tell him to be good he said he will be good.. he is very good and loving when not angry. what can i do? divorce is not an option as i live in an asian country... once you are married, you are married.
will counseling help? if so, how should i approach that subject with him? whats the best way? im very glad for any answers.. i want to know how i should talk with him about going to counseling....
thank you

[girl198]

i think i have a weakness. when he yells at me, i cry but after 2-3 hours i myself go and ask him "are you still angry? " then he says no and i just start to talk with him again. he does not say sorry. shall i wait without talking till he himself comes and talks with me?

im sorry that im asking a lot from you.

[girl198]

can you please please give me that worksheet?
she told me about counting to 10, taking time out etc but he just forgets all that when he is angry.
is there any medicine used to control anger? no ? :(

yesterday, i asked him about something. he said no. but i wanted to confirm so i asked again. then he sent me "i already told you bit ch. whats wrong with you wh0re? " that is through email. he is away for 3 days because of work. then i sent him im not going to look at my email again and logged out. he still didnt contact me after that.

[specialmom]

Okay, I'll keep looking.  The one I sent a note to you about is excellent and will speak directly to your husband.  It talks about some of the things he's gone through that may affect him now and how to stop it.  

Even in your language, your therapist should have some things to give you that will help at home.  By this I mean-------  if she sees someone with rage, what does she tell them to do and does she have any papers she gives them?  For example, I had a worksheet that I gave couples on how to argue.  I often only saw one person in a couple and I would give the sheet to them.  If only one person learns the right way to argue, it is half the battle, right?  And then you could bestow the knowledge on your husband.  Things like that.  Ask your therapist about that.  If she can't help, then just stick to the books.  

Really wishing you luck . . . feel bad about the situation.  

[girl198]

my mother language is not english and there are no books in here dealing with this subject... yes.. none :(  so my therapist cant assist me in that area and my husband insists that he will not go to the therapist and will only read books...

so if you can get me the names of books which are written for the abuser, that will be a big help. i can get those books through amazon if i know the  title. when i search amazon it gives names of the books written for the abused, not the abuser

[specialmom]

Okay, well at least he will read something.  I thougt of another book that I will send you a note with the title of it . . . I have to look up the author.  Also, ask your therapist.  She probably has handouts that are easy and exercises he can do.  

I wish you the best of luck and remember to take care of yourself!!!!!  Stay strong.

[girl198]

he wont go no matter how much i ask him(in a nice way not nagging)
he says he will read books that are aimed at the abuser (yes he does understand he is an abuser)  
so thats the way to go i guess. he reads so much -even more than me-

love and hugs for being so helpful