Lonely out of love

[jmrose]

I've been married for 16 years.  I have three childeren.  I feel my self drowning in this life. My husband is a truck driver and rarely home, when he is home he is fixing his truck or with his friends drinking.  He never has time me for me or the kids.  It's like I'm a single mother. I'm so tired of just hanging out with the kids, I need some grown up time by myself.  I sometimes feel like running away and starting a new life.  I want to feel that passionate love and desire when you just meet a man for the first time and you are so in to each other.  The late talks on the phone, walking in the park or just hanging out.  I miss feeling that desire of a man wanting to rip the clothes off of me and having wild sex no matter when or when or for how long.  I sometimes feel I don't love my husband anymore.  What should I do?

[Njsweetnlight]

I can feel you hurt and sadness. I know how it is to be married and feel alone. Take some time out and talk to your husband and discuss your concerns. There are so many ways to fix this problem but both of you have to want to fix it. I suggest in the meantime to start a hobby and try to meet new friends (female) that you spend time with and go to lunch or do yoga or exercise with. It is hard to find new friends but spending time with friends is just as important especially when you husband is not around to talk to you. It is hard but I think every marriage goes through this tuff time.

[SeriousSam]

I assume that the truck driving and some of the current lifestyle were mutually decided upon at some time so lets address some points.;


Long hauls pay better  than short.
Is he independent, contracted,  or an employee?
What types of changes in your lifestyle would you be willing to make to have him back?
Often there are activities you can become involved in where people rotate daycare roles is this possible for you?

[teko]

You say your husband is never home so what would be the difference if you left him? You still have the children and life would pretty much continue as it is from the sounds of things. I think your problem is more that you feel like you are living the life of a single mom and would like to feel like your married for a change. You sound very needy for intimacy and affection and a vacation. You need to address this with your man. 16 years is a long time and it does get stale being with one man, one life style, day after day. It sounds like you and your husband need to put effort into spicing up your marriage. Trust me you really do not want to be single again out there in this world we live in. The good ones are taken and the rest have been rode hard and put away wet. Your better off staying where you are and putting your effort into your relationship. Sermon over.

[specialmom]

I think that the man you need to meet and fall in love with is your husband again.  Ask him for some of his time and try to rekindle things.  It is worth a shot and you could be successful.  Many couples find that they've drifted apart and some are able to reconnect and make it work.  Marriage is a committment and you both have children and a history together.  It is worth your best effort to try to salvage this marriage before thinking of moving on.  It may come to that but I wouldn't recommend it without doing your best to work things out with your husband.  good luck

[imanaddict]

Aww I'm sorry you are feeling this way! Being a wife of a truck driver has got to be hard and it definitely isn't for everyone!! Have you said these things to your husband? If so, what does he say? Could he find a different job maybe?

My husband works nights so I feel your pain. While he isn't away on the road, I still rarely see him and I too, feel like a single mom because I do all the cooking, cleaning, bathing, laundry, homework, etc. every day. He only gets weekends off once every 3 months and that is the only time we really get to spend quality time together.

[mami1323]

Have you attempted to communicate your dissatisfaction with your husband?  Many marriages go through this where that spark is lost.  It's easy to get back as long as both people want to get it back.  Perhaps your husband is feeling the same way you are.  How old are your children?  If they are old enough to be left alone then go out and have fun with some friends.  If they aren't old enough, get a babysitter and do it.  Just because you are married doesn't mean you have to spend the rest of your life sitting at home.