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Living with the in laws is making me depressed
I have been married for 10 months now. During the several years that my husband and I were dating, we had always discussed moving out and establishing a home of our own, but he wanted me to live with his parents for a year first, as it is part of the culture, and so I agreed.
Six months into the marriage I began talking about moving out within the years time, and he would just ignore me or brush the subject off. Months later he said he didn't want to move out of his parents house, and wanted us to live with them forever and start a family there. He felt it was his "turn to take care of them" because he had had such a good childhood, and his parents had taken care of him his whole life. His mother did everything for him before we got married, from making his meals, to washing his clothes, and such. I told him that I refuse to live with his parents because of how bad my relationship has become with my mother in law and also with my husband. My father in law is pretty neutral in all this. My relationship with my husband has suffered BIG TIME, sexually, emotionally, and mentally. We don't have a lot of privacy at all, there is one tv, and we all share one bathroom. My mother in law doesn't work so she is always at home. Whenever I try to talk to my husband about these issues he gets upset with me. He says to let him tell his parents "with his own time" about us moving out, and he also says that he hates looking for houses and that he doesn't know how long its going to take for him to even like being moved out with me, even though this is what we had planned since day one.
I'm really sad about all this, and am hoping he will own up to his promise, but it is affecting my feelings now, and I'm starting to emotionally detach myself without even trying. I try to talk to him about this but he just gets upset with me and then he's so distant for a few days, and it makes it really hard for me to even gather the courage to talk to him about this. Any suggestions, or is anyone going through the same thing???
Six months into the marriage I began talking about moving out within the years time, and he would just ignore me or brush the subject off. Months later he said he didn't want to move out of his parents house, and wanted us to live with them forever and start a family there. He felt it was his "turn to take care of them" because he had had such a good childhood, and his parents had taken care of him his whole life. His mother did everything for him before we got married, from making his meals, to washing his clothes, and such. I told him that I refuse to live with his parents because of how bad my relationship has become with my mother in law and also with my husband. My father in law is pretty neutral in all this. My relationship with my husband has suffered BIG TIME, sexually, emotionally, and mentally. We don't have a lot of privacy at all, there is one tv, and we all share one bathroom. My mother in law doesn't work so she is always at home. Whenever I try to talk to my husband about these issues he gets upset with me. He says to let him tell his parents "with his own time" about us moving out, and he also says that he hates looking for houses and that he doesn't know how long its going to take for him to even like being moved out with me, even though this is what we had planned since day one.
I'm really sad about all this, and am hoping he will own up to his promise, but it is affecting my feelings now, and I'm starting to emotionally detach myself without even trying. I try to talk to him about this but he just gets upset with me and then he's so distant for a few days, and it makes it really hard for me to even gather the courage to talk to him about this. Any suggestions, or is anyone going through the same thing???
I Don't want to live with my MIF because she is trying to separate me and my husband and creating problems inbetween us she hates that If my husband spends time with me ...i love him a lot really fedup with this issue she is controlling us...What should i do now??
My situation is similar. When I married my husband I didn't realize I was going to marry his whole family. Which are always involved.Thankfuly I am still married to my husband. We hold lots of patience for each other.
My husband and I live at my mother in laws house. She is a widow. And she has been telling my husband that he will have the house eventually.. but its hard. Coz its her house. Her rules. I just had a baby and he is now 4 months old. I went through post partum depression and this whole living situation is making me depressed. Like i cannot see the light at the end of the tunnel. I feel like she hates me. She doesnt believe anything i say. She ignores when i explain things. I hear her talking on the phone about me. Im going crazy already. I try and try to be nice and thankful that we have her helping us out but in reality i really really want to move out and have our own house.
I am going through the exact same situation. I have ever been living with my in laws for 4 years now. My husband doesn't want to move out. With 2 kids, I always tell my husband we need our own privacy! My mom in law hates me. When I make my husband dinner, she literally stands around looking at what items I use only to tell me not to use her belongings. Can't take it anymore...
I know exactly where your coming from..I've lived with my in laws off an on for almost eight years because rent is so expensive where we live and my depression has gotten worse because of it..we have four kids 6,4,2 and 1 year old..we get undermined left and right..we all have to sleep in one room and we always have to do all the house work along with taking care of our kids..I always end up cleaning up after his mom dad and two brothers cause if we don't no one will and it starts looking like a disaster in 20 mins..I've been sexually harassed several times by his step dad..trying to get me drunk or high,looking up my skirts, asking to see my boobs, tubing against me sexually, talking sexually..asking weird personal questions..I've been attacked more then once by his mom and other family members..our kids act horrible when their around and at least one if them is always around..not to mention we supply most of the food and also cook it along with all the house work and they leave all their dishes all over the end tables and leave trash everywhere for our one year old to get into..just a bunch of horrible things..I've lost pets and cars because if them..out truck is messed up an he can't get a job until it gets fixed and his brother promised to fix it months n months ago..still not fixed..I know what ur going through an it deff *****
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