Aa
Lying boyfriend ?
Okay here goes...
My boyfriend/baby's father & I have had a really rough past which has made it hard for me to trust him, we were doing good until the other night.
I stay with him at his parents for now but stay at my mums some weekends & Friday night my bf rang me to tell me he was going to bed, but then I heard his mum banging on the door telling him his cab was there ? I asked where he is going & he said to bed so I hung up but then I got sus & rang him back & all I could hear was cars driving past ? I asked where he was & he said just out the front even though 2 minutes before hand he said he was in bed ? I hung up & still convinced he was lying to me I rang back 20 minutes later & he said he was in the bathroom & he would call me back, half an hour later I rang him back & he was still in the bathroom? Another 15 minutes & he's still in the bathroom ? So I told him to quit lying & he still claimed he was at home so I told him I'd call his home phone after he told me not to but i hung up once again but instead I called him back thinking that was a bit too far, he was already on the phone ? So I ended up calling his home phone, his mum answered already knowing that it was me I didn't say hello or anything & there home phone doesn't show who's calling, then she proceded to tell me my bf was in the shower, um we used all the hot water before I left his house earlier that day ? I got off the phone to her rang my bf back & aske where he was, he then said out the front again ???
Okay i may sound obsessive or whatever but I don't appreciate being lied to by my bf, I don't care if he went out I just cant stand the lying, what would you ladies be thinking of you bf did this to you ?
My boyfriend/baby's father & I have had a really rough past which has made it hard for me to trust him, we were doing good until the other night.
I stay with him at his parents for now but stay at my mums some weekends & Friday night my bf rang me to tell me he was going to bed, but then I heard his mum banging on the door telling him his cab was there ? I asked where he is going & he said to bed so I hung up but then I got sus & rang him back & all I could hear was cars driving past ? I asked where he was & he said just out the front even though 2 minutes before hand he said he was in bed ? I hung up & still convinced he was lying to me I rang back 20 minutes later & he said he was in the bathroom & he would call me back, half an hour later I rang him back & he was still in the bathroom? Another 15 minutes & he's still in the bathroom ? So I told him to quit lying & he still claimed he was at home so I told him I'd call his home phone after he told me not to but i hung up once again but instead I called him back thinking that was a bit too far, he was already on the phone ? So I ended up calling his home phone, his mum answered already knowing that it was me I didn't say hello or anything & there home phone doesn't show who's calling, then she proceded to tell me my bf was in the shower, um we used all the hot water before I left his house earlier that day ? I got off the phone to her rang my bf back & aske where he was, he then said out the front again ???
Okay i may sound obsessive or whatever but I don't appreciate being lied to by my bf, I don't care if he went out I just cant stand the lying, what would you ladies be thinking of you bf did this to you ?
well brit im 19 years old n yes i believe what these ladies are telling you are true but my boyfriend seems to have a lying problem also n i just learn to sit back n watch i felt hey its no need for me to keep nagging n B&$#@ing over your lies never more stressone he seen i was falling short n moving on he step up(not all are the same) but he still have some childish ways n i leave him for awhile til he learns which he does. you baby girl just sit back n ignore him for a while n find yourself your young so damnnn sure dont let this guy stress u, mainly he is doin this because ur pregnant n u make him think you cant leave...dnt let him make u think u cant leave your a mother now boo so step up n do you if he with u he with yu he will step up be a father n loving boyfriend but the ball is in your court just eave he whole thing alonhe till he comes out but be smart n be a mother now first GOD then your child then you n let everything fall in place i'll pray for u boo
If you need to constantly be worrying about whether your boyfriend is lying to you or not, then some serious review of your relationship needs to done. A relationship without trust means 'doomed'. Paranoia makes us feel crazy, the constant "who? what? where? and why?" is a day to day activity which affects us mentally as well as emotionally.
You are 17 and so your 'obsession' with finding out whether your boyfriend went out or not is not surprising to me. In the teenaged years, when we fall in love, we fall HARD. We do not think about consequences and all that other adult stuff, all we know is that we are in love. We do things like walk by just so the person can see us, call 'unknown' and hang up and definitely do all the things we can do including making several phone calls to find out if our partner went out or not. However, you are 17 with a baby and so being in love is not just about being young, it gets more complicated than that.
I suggest you confront your bf as it relates to your insecurities. Let him know that because of the past, you are unable to trust him and that you want to work on that. That means that you would appreciate him being honest no matter what. If he continues to give you reason to be suspicious of him, then you have a choice to make, either 'you continue feeling like a 'obsessive' person or you give yourself peace of mind.
Also, you are seventeen, that's awesome. There is so much you could do and the fact that you have a baby doesn't stop that. Do not allow a man to become the center of your universe, let your child do that, babies don't lie. I know you think your relationship with him right now is everything, but I can assure you that years from now, those things that seemed so big, are going to look miniscule. I guarantee that. Do more things which involve you and your baby. Join a mother's club for young mothers, you may even start one, talk about books and movies, whatever. If you stopped going to school, find a way to go back. Even if you do not want to do academic courses, find a technical course which can be both fun and training for a job as well.
xoxoxoxoxoxo Anna
You are 17 and so your 'obsession' with finding out whether your boyfriend went out or not is not surprising to me. In the teenaged years, when we fall in love, we fall HARD. We do not think about consequences and all that other adult stuff, all we know is that we are in love. We do things like walk by just so the person can see us, call 'unknown' and hang up and definitely do all the things we can do including making several phone calls to find out if our partner went out or not. However, you are 17 with a baby and so being in love is not just about being young, it gets more complicated than that.
I suggest you confront your bf as it relates to your insecurities. Let him know that because of the past, you are unable to trust him and that you want to work on that. That means that you would appreciate him being honest no matter what. If he continues to give you reason to be suspicious of him, then you have a choice to make, either 'you continue feeling like a 'obsessive' person or you give yourself peace of mind.
Also, you are seventeen, that's awesome. There is so much you could do and the fact that you have a baby doesn't stop that. Do not allow a man to become the center of your universe, let your child do that, babies don't lie. I know you think your relationship with him right now is everything, but I can assure you that years from now, those things that seemed so big, are going to look miniscule. I guarantee that. Do more things which involve you and your baby. Join a mother's club for young mothers, you may even start one, talk about books and movies, whatever. If you stopped going to school, find a way to go back. Even if you do not want to do academic courses, find a technical course which can be both fun and training for a job as well.
xoxoxoxoxoxo Anna
You both should end this and focus on this baby on the way by doing more mature things, i.e. going to school and/or work.
You should get more "wrapped up" into the baby and not him as this bf/gf situation isn't working for you both.
Don't waste your youth on such nonsense.
You should get more "wrapped up" into the baby and not him as this bf/gf situation isn't working for you both.
Don't waste your youth on such nonsense.
COMMUNITY LEADER
Britney, this is a hard one for me. You are very young and pregnant. I'd tell you that you are way to young to be so wrapped up in a guy. And you are. But sadly, you are now carrying a child.
This does not preclude you from continuing your education. You need to think about what is right around the corner which is that you will be an adult and will need to be financially independent. So, you should be taking courses on line or attending job training or college. I really can't stress that enough. This is the best thing a 17 year old girl can do to set herself up in life.
The boyfriend? I don't know. You seem sure he is lying to you. He is commited to keep the lie going. If that continues, this relationship will end. You two somehow have to get on the same page.
good luck
This does not preclude you from continuing your education. You need to think about what is right around the corner which is that you will be an adult and will need to be financially independent. So, you should be taking courses on line or attending job training or college. I really can't stress that enough. This is the best thing a 17 year old girl can do to set herself up in life.
The boyfriend? I don't know. You seem sure he is lying to you. He is commited to keep the lie going. If that continues, this relationship will end. You two somehow have to get on the same page.
good luck
When will the lying end.I think it will just continue to get worse.You deserve better & someone who will be more honest with you.
Oh & I tried speaking to him about it earlier but he hung up & sent 'whatever you fckn reckon britney' I wasn't even angry at him i just asked a simple yes or no question, 'were you really at home babe?' that's it & now he won't reply to me text of answer his phone so I just left it .
I am young I'm only 17 . Our relationship is hard to explain, I'll explain a little more as to why I'm like this, at the beginning of our relationship it was hard he cheated on me with alot of different girls so I've been told & will not own up to any of them, he cheated on me with a girl 6 years older then he was, & another two of my 'friends' he was always out & getting on drugs & just being a real idiot I left him many times but always ended up going back until I found all text messages & photos that he will still deny were on his phone so I packs my things one morning & left & was not going to go back, a few weeks went past & he kept calling & showing up to where I was saying he wanted me back & he was going to change so I got back with him, weve been together nearly 2 years now & everything has been good, he changed his number deleted Facebook & ended up moving an hour away, it was his choice not to have anything to do with his mates anymore, & alot of my friends have just faded away over time, anyway just recently he's been really weird ? His stories & the things he says just don't add up, whenever I'm not with him it's like I'm not even his girlfriend anymore, lately I've been noticing the certain 2 girls that walked past everyday & just stare at him & smile & wave, usually it wouldn't bother me but you can just tell when something isn't right.
I'm probably being over paranoid right now but how he is acting just reminds me of our first few months together & now I'm carrying his baby I just really don't want my suspicions to be true :( the other day he also called me a lying bitxh because we were out shopping & I went to the bathroom ? & acted like a complete idiot infront of everyone there :/ he's been so weird.
I'm probably being over paranoid right now but how he is acting just reminds me of our first few months together & now I'm carrying his baby I just really don't want my suspicions to be true :( the other day he also called me a lying bitxh because we were out shopping & I went to the bathroom ? & acted like a complete idiot infront of everyone there :/ he's been so weird.
Your statement...."Okay i may sound obsessive or whatever but I don't appreciate being lied to by my bf, I don't care if he went out I just cant stand the lying, what would you ladies be thinking of you bf did this to you ?"
My response....I would say the relationship has some serious issues. If he feels he has to lie to you...hmmm...that's not any healthy relationship to me. Sounds like he is very young; perhaps he did this because he didn't want to argue with you about going out alone because you wouldn't approve and/or he is trying to be "shady." To add... if you have to go to these extremes, i.e. the excessive phone calls, just to get him to tell you the truth or so that you could find out the truth...I would say you both have some serious talking to do. I mean if you have to spend this much energy to catch someone in a lie he probably isn't worth it. You sound very young as well.
Can't condone lying and won't condone staying in a relationship with someone who continues to lie as well.
My response....I would say the relationship has some serious issues. If he feels he has to lie to you...hmmm...that's not any healthy relationship to me. Sounds like he is very young; perhaps he did this because he didn't want to argue with you about going out alone because you wouldn't approve and/or he is trying to be "shady." To add... if you have to go to these extremes, i.e. the excessive phone calls, just to get him to tell you the truth or so that you could find out the truth...I would say you both have some serious talking to do. I mean if you have to spend this much energy to catch someone in a lie he probably isn't worth it. You sound very young as well.
Can't condone lying and won't condone staying in a relationship with someone who continues to lie as well.
COMMUNITY LEADER
Hi there. Well, no. Lying is awful and makes us a little crazy to figure out the truth. And you went a little crazy there. That was a lot of phone calls you made in a short space of time. I get you were 'on the case' and hey, I'd want the truth too.
So, did he go out? Did you ever figure it out?
Ya know, in a situation like this, I have to ask you why he would lie? Is he allowed to go out with his buddies? He should be. I mean, everyone deserves a night here or there with their friends. and he sounds like he responsibly called a cab rather than driving.
so did he lie because he is on such a short leash that he knew you'd be furious that he wanted to go out for an evening?
I don't ask that to say it is alright that he lied at all. It's never okay to lie. But am trying to understand what this relationship is like and if there are other problems going on.
Have you spoken to him about the evening yet?
So, did he go out? Did you ever figure it out?
Ya know, in a situation like this, I have to ask you why he would lie? Is he allowed to go out with his buddies? He should be. I mean, everyone deserves a night here or there with their friends. and he sounds like he responsibly called a cab rather than driving.
so did he lie because he is on such a short leash that he knew you'd be furious that he wanted to go out for an evening?
I don't ask that to say it is alright that he lied at all. It's never okay to lie. But am trying to understand what this relationship is like and if there are other problems going on.
Have you spoken to him about the evening yet?
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