Avatar universal

Should I breakup with him?

Me and my boyfriend have been dating for 5 years and when I was younger like 15 up to 18 years old I had cheated on him repeatedly. I had sex with 4 different people during that time. He doesn’t know about any of that but he knows other small things I’ve done, he had forgiven me and we’ve moved on. Just recently I got checked for any stds and found out I had chlamydia. I told him while we were on a break I had sex with someone. I’ve hurt him a lot but this year I really stayed faithful and all I want to do is be good to him. I got checked and turns out I had chlamydia for a year. I told him I had sex with one person and it broke his heart. My question is even if he doesn’t know about my other sexual encounters should I let him go? I don’t want to keep lying to him and I feel like I don’t deserve him beacause he’s never cheated on me.
2 Responses
134578 tn?1614729226
Well, maybe you don't deserve him, but only let him go if you are unwilling to let the past be the past.

Only if you feel you will not be faithful in the future, will it be time to end it. Don't end it just to atone for your past misdeeds. And stay silent about the others in your past, there is no point in hurting him further even if you think it will make you feel better to confess. It won't make *him* feel better, and that is the point. You need to care for him.

The question is, where are you on the relationship overall? Do you think there was a reason you cheated? Cheating is not a good thing, but one does not just cheat out of the blue ... what was behind it? Is that still around? You might be looking at letting him go for other reasons, not just the guilt about cheating.
I love him with all my heart and like I said I’ve been faithful for a whole year since we’ve got back together. I will never hurt him again, we get along so well and it truly feels like he is my soulmate. I cheated because I was so stupid and wasn’t satisfied enough when we were younger. I am his first girlfriend and he wasn’t experienced. I just feel guilty and fear my past will eventually be revealed that’s the only reason but I know we can move on from this. He’s taking it very well.
So you are 19? And is he also 19? Keep in mind that emotionally, women change a whole lot up until at least age 21, and guys even later, around age 23. Things might shift in the relationship not due to bad intentions but just because.
What do you mean by that and yes we are both 19
Just saying that this is likely to not last even if you stay faithful from now on, because you two still have emotional changes to go through as you grow further.
Avatar universal
If you have some decency left you should leave him and let him know why are you leaving him. I see according to your comments that you take the fact that you didn't cheat on him for a year like a feat of strength, like you fought hard not to do it. Does that one year negate what you were doing for 3 years prior? People who cheat do it for variety of reasons, your however seems to be habit and boredom. You seek validation by men and cheating is the way to go about it.
You say you love him alot, well obviously not enough to NOT cheat on him. As someone who has been cheated on I know what harm it can do, and sorry, but I think repeated cheaters do not deserve a chance with the person they have cheated on for so much and so long. And I see you were even careless about it not using protection and catching and STD. I know my comment will sound judgmental but it may be an eye opener for you. I honestly don't see you being faithful in the future and holding on to the poor fella is for sure not fair to him. Would he want you if he knew what you had done? And trust me, the truth always finds its way out, he will find out sooner or later and then you're in shock of a lifetime.
Couldn't have said it better! Leave that poor boy to go find a more stable relationship. Maybe monogamy is just not for you. You both need a better fit.
Have an Answer?

You are reading content posted in the Relationships Community

Top Relationships Answerers
13167 tn?1327194124
Austin, TX
3060903 tn?1398565123
Learn About Top Answerers
Didn't find the answer you were looking for?
Ask a question
Popular Resources
How do you keep things safer between the sheets? We explore your options.
Can HIV be transmitted through this sexual activity? Dr. Jose Gonzalez-Garcia answers this commonly-asked question.
Chlamydia, an STI, often has no symptoms, but must be treated.
For people with Obsessive-Compulsive Disorder (OCD), the COVID-19 pandemic can be particularly challenging.
A list of national and international resources and hotlines to help connect you to needed health and medical services.
Here’s how your baby’s growing in your body each week.