Here is my thoughts on this pooping thing..........I believe you 2 have bigger issues than this but you both focus on it so it takes the spotlight off what is really going on. Your married and dont live together due to custody agreements you said. I have a feeling there is more going.......
Wow thanks for the input. I was starting to think I was crazy. I've mentioned before to him like "hey don't you think it's weird that you don't go on weekends? Is it because I'm here??" And he brushes it off and makes me feel like I'm weird or sick for asking. Like..."why you notice that? Why are you thinking about it? Please stop obsessing over my bathroom habits. It's weird." I think it's far more weird to not be able to discuss it. But started questioning myself. Like maybe he's right that some things should be kept completely private. But I fight with myself then like.... Why should anything between a married couple be private? Like, going totally can be, but discussing why neither of us will when together is a perfectly acceptable conversation to have and not weird or sick or creepy, right???
Your body locks up and you don't poop all weekend? Please look up encopresis, you could be giving yourself a distended colon.
A poster wrote once who had a husband who told her that if she used the bathroom in the house he would divorce her, and said she was supposed to go to the convenience store down the street. This is how weird these poop prohibitions can get. If you can't break the ice about it and end this self-imposed taboo and just poop whenever you need to poop, you will let this rule your life and probably harm your health, and of course your mental health too (anxiety is not a good thing in a marriage). It sounds like you two should look at going to a therapist together to talk about this, and if he won't go, frankly I don't see what kind of marriage this really is or that it's worth a lot of effort to save. It sounds like his poop prohibition is stronger than his desire to have a wife.
No, it's not normal. It is also not normal living separately if you're married. Getting married means legally committing to another person forever (or at least as long as possible), which includes cohabition. If you didn't want to live together why marry? Having kids from first marriage sounds more like an excuse that an actual reason.
I always found these "no poop" situations weird and I think they stem from potty training at young age. You should be able to be intimate at every aspect of your lives. You already saw him naked (I hope) and so did he see you. Is he aware that when he poops in the bathroom there are doors separating the two of you? Also when he poops at work or wherever there are people in that building aswell? Saying he's more comfortable around his peers than you is a red flag so huge that it can be seen from the moon. From how you present the situation it sounds as if you ran into this marriage without too much thinking and without knowing the person thoroughly. You two don't seem really close and that pooping situation does sound weird at all. I wouldn't be able to stand someone who can make me keep it in throughout the vacation (?!) let alone to marry him. It happened to me many times that I really have to go while my husband is showering. Or that I really need to ask him something while he's on the toilet, so I go in and ask. These poop taboos are so weird especially since pooping is body reflex which is compulsory to normal life and shouldn't be suppressed cause of a whim. When you wanna go, you go.
I would suggest you start using the bathroom when he is there and not give a crap. If he says "did you go?" you say yes. If he overreacts tell him he's insane and should see a shrink.
Why don't you live together if you are married? No, this all doesn't sound normal to me but it's your normal so who am I to judge, right? We close the door when we 'go' and the other just goes and does their own thing during that time. That's life. Ha, wait until you have a child and have to change 2 million poopy diapers. I'd just say no and not do this anymore. Take a poop on a weekend even if you have to take a laxative to do it just so you can START. And then maybe he will be more willing and able. But you two are super formal and not very intimate it sounds. Let the poop bonding start with your own efforts to move past this. Do you have plans to live together at any time in the near future?