Mother in law problems

[nirvana1234]

I know this is odd. But why do I dislike her.. well is very common situation. But my mother in law is not mean.. she just annoyed me her presence irritates me.. she's a nice lady.. but she just very nosy. She always talking about peoples back and talking bad about her son's wife.  I know she talks bad about me.. but I want to like her but I don’t. . I try to respect her but is hard.  The worst scenario is we live in the same house.. I hate my hubby for not moving out on our own. He like having me n his mom in the same house.. his spoild. And it irritates me more. I can't really tell my hubby my feelings because it becomes a argument.  N dont like hurting his feelings. I hate putting him in between. I feel like leaving my hubby sometimes just so I wont put up with his mom.. I rather be the one to leave n end this. I told his mom once that we wanted to move out n have our own house but she didn't like the idea. She wants us to live with hhr.. I guess cause of the rent too.  And she wants to dominate her son. His her favorite child.. ugh it iirritatesme how my hubby is a mommy's boy.. I not saying to not like his mother thats his mother. But he needs to know im his family now.. n I come first. N his mother needs to let go. We have 1 child together 9yrs old. Ugh I dislike her in so many ways. I try to stay away from her. I don’t like feeling like this.  I have beg my hubby to have our own place. But he says later. To wait.. uughh.i feel If we stay away from his mom. We might get along better. Im not trying to take him away. I just want my privacy. . She has 5 son's. . My hubby is the oldest.. I think is not worth being with him. Im in too much stress.. alot of stress is not healthy for me I suffer from anxiety.. what should I do. I know. .is long..

[nirvana1234]

Thank you.. you are right.. I guess im mad at the wrong person.. I guess im being selfish taking it against my mother in law.. im going to try my best and get things right. . A mothers love will always have a special place in their childs life. And I need to deal with that.. thank u.. blessings..

[specialmom]

Hi there.   Welcome.  Well, it seems to me that you are mad at the wrong person.  Your husband is the one to set the boundary if  he and you feel that she is too invasive into your life.  It's reasonable to live elsewhere and it very well may help the dynamics of how you and she get along too.  She may not be able to afford it but perhaps your husband and you can help her a bit financially.  I know it seems like you shouldn't have to but your husband HAS been helping her financially and money isn't everything.  If it buys peace of you having your privacy and her being able to live on her own without your husband, then it would be worth it.

But, my guess is that your husband also is quite satisfied with the relationship.  I'm sure he didn't just become this mama's boy----  you've been with him for a long time as you have a 9 year old.  Why was it okay before and not now?  What's changed?  

I guess I speak as a mom to sons.  I sure hope that my daughter in law doesn't resent ME for my sons love for me or his faults.  That does seem unfair.  You say she is nice but you are irritated that your husband is attached to her.  No one is perfect and I'm sure she has her flaws but what you are really upset about isn't really her fault but your husbands.  

I don't think this is worth breaking up your family for.  I'd try to come to a compromise with your husband to see if that helps.  good luck