To keep the gift or be honest that I dont like it?

[Hypnoash6]

I was given a watch from my boyfriend of 4 months as a gift for starting a new job. When I opened it I was soo happy just the thought was so nice. I really appreciate it so much but at first i thought the watch for for a guy. I really dont think I will wear it because its not me. I tried to tell him its too big and he said we would take it to the jewelery to adjust the size, but its not the wrist that is too big, its just too heavy and big for my wrist. He ordered it online and most likely cant return it. Should I be honest and tell him I dont like it or just keep it to make him happy? Its the first gift he has ever given me.

[AnnieBrooke]

Miss Manners had a funny story once about a lady who had a butler, and he went on vacation to Egypt and brought her back a gift of a clock that looked like the Sphinx.  This was a very valued butler.  As Miss Manners put it, the lady thought about what her friends would say if she displayed it, and thought about what the butler would think if she did not, and put it on the mantle in the living room.  Good butlers are hard to find.  :)  I hope you didn't hurt the guy's feelings too much.  If you care a lot about him, I'd try to retrieve the situation by telling him that you re-thought the watch, and want to try it out with some outfits and see how it feels and looks, and get it back, and wear it at least a few times.  You don't want him to think fashion means more to you than he does.  (You're not with him every minute, right?)  

[specialmom]

Ha ha Anniebrooke------------  I could make you look like a total package if you would like to borrow my peacock feather necklace!!  But hey . . . jewelry is a step up.  Our first Christmas together I got fusia slipper socks with skids on them, an umbrella with attached flashlight at the end, two serving spoons and an answering machine.  It was a tough year for keeping a straight face.  

Hypnoash, you did probably hurt his feelings.  And . . . I went to a party once and had this big bulky . . . manly, really . . . dark brown but distressed leather coat on and there was another woman there with the same coat.  Couldn't believe it because WHO would buy this thing?  Apparently our husbands shopped in the same place and we both got matching gifts (coincidentally------------ I'd never met this woman before and our husband didn't know each other).  We are kind of laughing and this ultra posh, gorgous woman said to the group "ladies, take a look.  This is what men like!!"  And she was dead serious.  She was directing it to the single ladies.  I thought about it and realized that sometimes men do have their own tastes and maybe like to see their ladies wear them and it put a positive spin on that 200 pound coat I wore to make him feel good.  All of a sudden-------  it was cool to have it!

So, I guess in the future I'd try to be open minded about a gift.  It is not your wedding ring that you will wear every day but a watch.  And actually, big watches that look like they were made for a man are in style.  And wearing it here and there would have made him feel good.  

Oh well.  Maybe this was the right way to go for you and you feel better now that you don't ever have to wear it.  But I would look at things like that as 'just things' and consider the feeling of the person who bought it for you over that.  And just wear it on Thursdays and Sundays.  

Okay, just my opinion.  good luck

[Hypnoash6]

Last night at dinner he asked where the watch was. When we got home I tried on the watch and asked him if he thought it was too big because I thought it was too big and I am not used to watches that big and bulky. Then he was like soooo you dont like it? I said I do like it but it might be a little too big for me. He eventually took the watch and put it on his desk. I dont know what hes going to do about it, I feel bad. I know the watch wasnt cheap and would feel even worse if I never wore it.

Native american feather earrings..thats cute. lol.

[AnnieBrooke]

At least yours were made of onyx and diamonds.  A spider necklace at least has a fashion excuse -- sounds like it's at least trying to be stylishly goth.  There is no known fashion scheme in which to justify wooden-shoe earrings.  Even in Holland a hundred years ago, when they actually wore wooden shoes (on their feet), they would have felt about as thrilled to wear them in their ears as you or I might about wearing little gardening clogs on our earlobes today.  

Yesterday my husband and son came home with some supposedly Native American earrings they had bought for me at a carnival, and my son is now giving me the gimlet eye if I don't put the darn things on and wear them all day.  They have plastic feathers hanging down that brush my shoulders.  Lucky me!!!

[specialmom]

ha ha Anniebrooke.  You and I could compare collections.  Wait until he starts to let your son do all the picking . . . what about a black onyx spider necklace?  It comes out every Halloween but was not purchased to be holiday jewelry . . . got it for Christmas and it has REAL diamonds!  It's so pretty . . .  

Oh, and all of the "not real" stuff my kids have given me.  I wore a home made mom necklace pretty much all school year.  Why?  It made me happy to think how much my kids loved picking it out and giving it to me and it made me happy to think how loved I am to have received it.  

So, I'm a fan of making the gift giver happy.  

My husband has told me he doesn't care for one or two gifts I've picked out for him.  I'm a big girl and all-------- but I was a little bummed to be honest.  

Anyway, I like Anniebrooke's advice.  I think I'd end up learning to like it and never let him know you had doubts in the begining.  

[AnnieBrooke]

If I had a dollar for all the stupid-looking jewelry my husband has bought me over the years, I'd have a nice little nest egg.  Want some earrings from Holland that look like little wooden shoes?  Or a turquoise pendant that screams "Tony Orlando and Dawn" era?  I always thank him and tell him I love it (because I do, that he bought something for me) but I just can't bring myself to wear it very often.  I usually make a big deal to wear it for a week or so right after, but then put it away.  Only once did I actually return something, and never told him that I did.  He vaguely notices after a while that I'm not wearing the thing, but since I'm that way about my own jewelry too (I'll wear it a while and then put it away and sort of forget it and wear something else), I think he simply believes I'm cyclic about my jewelry.

In the case of your boyfriend, I'd keep the watch with me, like in my purse, when he's not around, and wear it obviously for a while when he is around.  Then just keep it in my purse.  Then put it away.  Before you decide you hate it, though, look it up online, as specifically as you can (by serial number or model number).  If it's worth a ton of money, you might find you like it a bit more --  lol  Seriously!  Rolexes cost a lot and I think they are ugly fat things.  Should you discover he has bought you a genuine Patek Phillipe or something, maybe you could tell him that it makes you too nervous to wear something this valuable every day, and that you have put it in the safe-deposit box.  :)

[Tinabudde]

That's a touchy one, it probably will hurt his feelings if you tell him but you want to be honest in a relationship too.  Maybe ask him if it's refundable and tell him it's too heavy on your wrist, it's not so much loose but it's just heavy and wearing it all day might not work out as your wrist will hurt.  If it's not refundable, what about having it made into something else like a pin watch or necklace watch or keeping it in your pocket to tell time or even suggesting he wear it?