Work!!!!

[CareK]

So i have this job that i worked so hard to get.and ive been working there for almost six months...me and my boyfriend work in the same department just different jobs,,,so i don't have friends, or family here in this state...anyway a lot of new people were hired and this guy who my bf thinks hes just amazing and is good friends with and whom i also talk to and he has been so nice...so he told me once that if i needed someone to talk to i could ask him or talk to him...so one night i was really upset for no reason...and so i txted him just because i knew he had gone thru depression and was on meds for a while...although it was about midnight i thought nothing of it and asked for advise on what i should do about why i felt so bad and on another occasion i asked as well about a relationship question and how i should kinda approach my bf about a situation and this guy is married so he knew exactly what i have talking about,,,so then he told his wife how i felt alone and sad and me and his wife started to hang out she was awesome and just two days ago she left him because of a problem they had...so anyway today some guy at work asked me if i had txted this guy on several occasions because thats what he had told him and that supposedly he didnt know what to think of it because i was late at night...i just got really upset because all these guys are friends and the manager hired them because theyre friends with him and so i dnt want this to become a problem..the guy who told me just told me not to trust people and that he knew that guy more than anyone and out of work...so i dnt know what to do..i feel bad but i dnt see how its my fault i just thought i found myself more friends because i talked to him and his wife and they were so cool..and my bf as well thought they were cool...but now it's just weird knowing more about him and his wife told me before she left that he was a really good liar and everyone knew him the way he wanted them too..i feel bad because once again i felt like i could trust people and it just seem to be so weird.what should i do..btw i plan on telling my bfs brother because he knows the kind of person i am, and will believe me...but what should i do should i just let it go and pretend like nothing happened or what?i feel real bad but i just need some guidance... and thanks in advance..

[lovemykids465]

I have learned by experience, that when I need someone to talk to go I go to a girl friend and my husband to a guy. Keeps things from getting confusing. Even more so at work. I know it sounds sexist but we both ended up in very sticky situations when opening up to someone of the opposite sex about our personal life and they to were co- workers.

[teko]

I too am a firm believer in keeping your work and your private lives separate. A friend in the workplace is only a friend until they can use whatever it is you told them against you to further their own cause. If you really like this job, I would sweetly back off and make friends outside the workplace. Let this thing die down and learn to not give details about yourself. People usually like to talk about themselves, so you can listen to them but dont confide nothin to nobody.

[Judy246]

Work is work and your personal life is away from work. Your relationship with your co-workers, should be of strickly co worker and texting a married man late at night is putting you at risk for causing problems in there marriage, even though it was not the intent.

If you are having problems with your b/f, discuss the issues with him and keep your personal life out of co-workers ears and mouth.

[specialmom]

I actually am a huge fan of keeping personal and work seperate. At some point you may be more friendly with someone but it shouldn't be your constant social circle.  I would never text a man at midnight especially if he is married-------- whether he works with me or not.  That is pretty inappropriate.  I don't think he was mad though or his wife.  I'm sure they had lots of issues.  But for future reference, I'd refrain from doing that.  And trusting  people is always tricky.  I've trusted people that betrayed me without even them even meaning too.  It makes me more careful about what I tell and to whom.  But overall, I still have faith in those that show over time they are loyal.  Good luck

[mami1323]

It's ok to be open but you have to also know when to protect ourselves.  I think that's part of life.  We have to learn it and some times its the hard way.  When I was younger and in my 20's I used to tell everyone my business and then people would start talking about me.  So I had to learn that I can't be so open with everyone.  It's especially hard in corporate America. Everyone is out for themselves and gossiping is so common place.  I would keep your relationship to yourself and if you need to talk to someone, talk to a good friend that you trust, not anyone you work with.  You don't know people's real intentions.

[CareK]

Thank you that made me feel a lot better. and yes im stilll very naive even though i want to think im not,for some weird reason ive stumbled across unbelieveable jerks and still trust people my mom always told me never to trust too much and i think i need to snap out of that protective world where everyone is nice where my parents had me...but anyway thank you very much and i will definately learn from this...

[HeatherLF16]

I know like I mentioned I started working full time at a huge company when I was only 17... I came accross some real jerks and kind of learned the hard way about making friends at the work place.  I have come accross some great people as well (including my husband but we only worked there at the same time for a year until I found a different job), but again you just have to keep the line up and not cross it when it comes to work people.  It's a hard thing to do too...I still find myself saying a little too much at times and thinking "shouldn't have said that" lol.  I am sure you will find your balance at some point between work and play.  Until then, I would just keep your distance for a while and focus on being a great worker.  Be polite to everyone, but keep conversation minimal.  Decline invitations and if you have to show face to superiors at outside of work events I would only stay for a short period, don't drink too much and leave early.. basically don't give them anything to talk about for a while :)

[CareK]

its ok if its a little harsh its the honest truth my whole life ive trusted people and have always had honest intentions and had no idea of what could happen or how bad and twisted people really were and so i guess this is another one of those learning experiences...im definately not going to make friends at work...ever...

[HeatherLF16]

Well this is a tough situation because it's already really involved.  But, I have worked in the corporate world since the time I was 17 (I am 28 now) and I met my husband at work when I was 19 (we worked for a company at the time that had 500 people or more) and we tried our best to just act professional at work.  We didn't deny that we dated we just wouldn't talk at work and save anything date like for at home.  We wouldn't even go to lunch we both took our jobs seriously and were there for one reason... to work!
As far as friends I know it must be hard because you moved somewhere far where you didn't have any friends.  But, you really have to keep work friends at work and keep them at an arms distance.  Sure go to lunch once in a while, have a cocktail at happy hour once once a week with them.  But, I would refrain from the late night texts to male co workers especially married ones at that.
At big companies it's all about politics, so people will throw you under the bus if they feel it will get them ahead.  Anything that can be perceived as unprofessional some will take advantage to make themselves look better.  
I don't mean to sound harsh, but this is from experience and trial/error and my own work related dramas.  Go there and do what you are paid to do.  Leave making friends for outside of the job.  Maybe you and your boyfriend can start going out other places to make friends.  
Best of luck to you!