SHORT AND TO THE POINT..WE WANT MONEY, SECURITY, LOYALITY, SINCERITY, HUMOR, AND SOMEONE THAT WILL BE FAITHFUL.
BOTTOM LINE.........THIS IS WHY IM SINGLE....:-)
michele, I'm married and have all that. Maybe you're not looking in the right places, or maybe you're not offering enough in return.
Bottom line - you get what you give. ;D
I haven't read the other responses so that I'll give you my own honest answers. :-)
1. You say you want us to be sensitive, but if we cry at any time, we are weak and spineless.
No, I can't say that I've ever expected, or asked, a man to be "sensitive." But then, the men I've been involved with during my life HAVE cried in front of and with me, so that one isn't even an issue.
2. You say you want us to lead, but when we try to, then we are mean and dominating.
There is a huge difference between leadership and domination. If you don't know that difference by now, I doubt I can help you.
3. You ask for our advice, and then seem to use it as a gauge for measuring what "not" to do.
Huh? I don't ask for advice often, but when I do I expect an honest answer even if it's something I may not agree with.
4. "Honey, does this dress make me look fat?". Do you really expect us to answer that question?? If we say "Yes", we're in big trouble, If we say "No", you don't believe us and change the dress anyway. You put us in a "no win" situation!
I have never in my life spoken those words. If a compliment is asked for, it doesn't "count". If it is freely given with no prompting, it makes a huge impression; therefore, I don't ask. :-)
5. All husbands, HATE when you bring them a spoonful of something and say: "Honey, taste this and see if it's bad". Well Hell woman, what if it IS?? I DON'T WANT IT IN MY MOUTH!
Again, I have NEVER done this!
6. Laidies, Men cleaning the toilet and washing the dishes is not "foreplay". (you'll have to think about that one to get it)
No, but it's the precursor to foreplay. ;-)
7. We have feelings that can be hurt, and even if we don't show them like you do, we have them.
You really think we don't know this? If you do, you're with some really nasty women.
8. You expect us to change light bulbs, clean the garage, repair the car, mow the grass and fix the house and earn a living because as a man "that's our job", but when we expect the favor returned in the bedroom, suddenly "we don't deserve it" because your feelings were hurt when he didn't return a phone call or some other minor offense.
Third time: I have NEVER withheld sex as a punishment for misbehavior - imagined or otherwise. Just what kind of women have you been involved with anyway?!
Michelle and JayBay make my point.
What michelle describes is more like a puppy, not a Man. She bases what she wants on a pure calculation that is in her own best interest. She want's perfection, and that's my point exactly. No margin for error, no room for mistakes. The man she is looking for probably doesn't exist. She will be alone for a long time until she realizes that and gets real.
JayBay, You I respect. But the fact that you didn't understand my statement proves my point. Of course I KNOW that leadership and domination are not the same, but my wife doesn't. My leadership is to provide decisions based on what's best for my household and family. Her idea is for me to just stand up and be the mouthpiece for her decisions. She makes the ammo, and I'm expected to go out and fire it!
I have a good job, a sense of humor, I am faithful, sincere, and loyal. But that is still not enough because I lack obedience and servitude.
I have money (not unlimited though), security, loyalty, sincerity, humor and faithfulness to the man I've been married to for 26+ years. We are business partners, best friends, marriage partners and lovers. We are together 24/7. Is he perfect? No. Am I perfect? No (my sister thinks I'm Miss Perfect, but that's a whole other post entirely!). But no matter, we make it work and that's what's important.
I think there are two things that I think are most important in a relationship:
1. Have a sense of humor. My husband and I both ask each other "the" questions about looking fat, taste this or smell this. We just laugh at ourselves. We joke and tease alot.
2. Need vs. Want. I didn't "need" him when I married him. I don't "need" him now. And he didn't "need" me when we got married. He doesn't "need" me now either. BUT - and it's a big But...we WANT each other. We both do laundry, cook, change lightbulbs, take out the trash, and pretty everything else that needs to be done.
Oh wait, there is one thing that I "need" him for...I refuse to get dead mice or things out of the pool. Or deal with anything dead.
Learn to sit, relax, laugh and enjoy each other without expecting sex as a reward or using it as a punishment. You'd be amazed at what happens.
Here, Here! That is exactly what I want. I don't demand anything from her.
She will be the first to admit that she has no sense of humor. That has caused problems all by itself because she doesn't get a good "joke" and usually takes offense when I tease her about anything. My kids however love my sense of humor and always seem to "get" the humor in my jokes.
Am I perfect, NO. Trouble is, I feel like I'm expected to be. She has a pretty bad case of OCD, (obsessive compulsive disorder) and it really ruins her life. She has standards so high even she cannot meet them. That alone causes her great pain, not to mention the fact that me and the kids can't meet them either.
So with respect I must say that for the last 27 years that I've been married to her, my "close up and personal" view of women is soiled. I am aware that a lot of you are way different than what I'm used to, and I congratulate you for it.
I'm just a miserable, bitter old man needing advice and.....perhaps sympathy.
Donald