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What do women really want?
Ok, This question has been asked since the beginning of time. Women, answer it please!
In my 50 short years on this planet, and perhaps the last 30 or so as an adult Male, I have seen, watched and been in relationships with the opposite sex. Never has any woman been consistent in what they want from a Man.
1. You say you want us to be sensitive, but if we cry at any time, we are weak and spineless.
2. You say you want us to lead, but when we try to, then we are mean and dominating.
3. You ask for our advice, and then seem to use it as a gauge for measuring what "not" to do.
4. "Honey, does this dress make me look fat?". Do you really expect us to answer that question?? If we say "Yes", we're in big trouble, If we say "No", you don't believe us and change the dress anyway. You put us in a "no win" situation!
5. All husbands, HATE when you bring them a spoonful of something and say: "Honey, taste this and see if it's bad". Well Hell woman, what if it IS?? I DON'T WANT IT IN MY MOUTH!
6. Laidies, Men cleaning the toilet and washing the dishes is not "foreplay". (you'll have to think about that one to get it)
7. We have feelings that can be hurt, and even if we don't show them like you do, we have them.
8. You expect us to change light bulbs, clean the garage, repair the car, mow the grass and fix the house and earn a living because as a man "that's our job", but when we expect the favor returned in the bedroom, suddenly "we don't deserve it" because your feelings were hurt when he didn't return a phone call or some other minor offense.
So, please try to answer the question: "What do women really want", because to all men since the beginning of time, it is apparent that it cannot be answered because none of you know what you want, and/or what you want changes minute to minute.
Donald the frustrated.
In my 50 short years on this planet, and perhaps the last 30 or so as an adult Male, I have seen, watched and been in relationships with the opposite sex. Never has any woman been consistent in what they want from a Man.
1. You say you want us to be sensitive, but if we cry at any time, we are weak and spineless.
2. You say you want us to lead, but when we try to, then we are mean and dominating.
3. You ask for our advice, and then seem to use it as a gauge for measuring what "not" to do.
4. "Honey, does this dress make me look fat?". Do you really expect us to answer that question?? If we say "Yes", we're in big trouble, If we say "No", you don't believe us and change the dress anyway. You put us in a "no win" situation!
5. All husbands, HATE when you bring them a spoonful of something and say: "Honey, taste this and see if it's bad". Well Hell woman, what if it IS?? I DON'T WANT IT IN MY MOUTH!
6. Laidies, Men cleaning the toilet and washing the dishes is not "foreplay". (you'll have to think about that one to get it)
7. We have feelings that can be hurt, and even if we don't show them like you do, we have them.
8. You expect us to change light bulbs, clean the garage, repair the car, mow the grass and fix the house and earn a living because as a man "that's our job", but when we expect the favor returned in the bedroom, suddenly "we don't deserve it" because your feelings were hurt when he didn't return a phone call or some other minor offense.
So, please try to answer the question: "What do women really want", because to all men since the beginning of time, it is apparent that it cannot be answered because none of you know what you want, and/or what you want changes minute to minute.
Donald the frustrated.
I am really glad you shared that story. I think that was the first time that I've seen a post where you spoke personally about your life. It's so refreshing and I laughed my a** off.
Oh, Don-ald...I'm hearing the Jeopardy music looping, waiting for your response listing all the wonderful things about your wife! :) If you don't post soon, I may start and I hope others will join in. I think it's good for all of us to remind ourselves why we married and stay married to our spouses.
I read a book called, "Don't Sweat the Small Stuff" by Richard Carlson--in it, he talks about a couple he was counseling and explained how they would fight constantly...whose turn it was to unload the dishwasher, who used the last of the toilet paper without changing the roll, how the other didn't fill up the gas tank, etc. and they argued about other things as well, like finances and feeling misunderstood and unappreciated. Well, the author said that several weeks into their therapy, they walk in holding hands, they sit down and he puts his arm around her--they are very loving and their faces are no longer angry...no furrowed brows, no crossed arms, no gritting teeth. She had been diagnosed with cancer. He said that they told him that suddenly who took the trash out last didn't matter any more. It made them step back and look at the big picture.
Guess I'm just writing this because it made me imagine how I would feel if I were at risk of losing my husband--or if he were in a car accident or something. Suddenly those pet peeves would go out the window.
Oh, and RockRose, I LOL'd at your post because my husband is the same way! But he wouldn’t sit around watching me clean and cook--on the day of the party, he'd disappear—he’d have to run to the office…just for a while. Then he'd show up with ice and drinks fifteen minutes before the party started and he would load them into the bin, and right when he finished, the first guest arrived! Meanwhile, I'd been cooking, cleaning the house, mowing the lawn, cleaning the deck, hosing off the lawn chairs, etc. since the crack of dawn. Grrrr... Well, I didn't have your solution (which I love!), but I did come up with one of my own--I now hire someone to help me! He's happy and I'm happy and it works for us!
Anyway...I hope you come back, Donald, and tell us all about the wonderful woman you married!
I read a book called, "Don't Sweat the Small Stuff" by Richard Carlson--in it, he talks about a couple he was counseling and explained how they would fight constantly...whose turn it was to unload the dishwasher, who used the last of the toilet paper without changing the roll, how the other didn't fill up the gas tank, etc. and they argued about other things as well, like finances and feeling misunderstood and unappreciated. Well, the author said that several weeks into their therapy, they walk in holding hands, they sit down and he puts his arm around her--they are very loving and their faces are no longer angry...no furrowed brows, no crossed arms, no gritting teeth. She had been diagnosed with cancer. He said that they told him that suddenly who took the trash out last didn't matter any more. It made them step back and look at the big picture.
Guess I'm just writing this because it made me imagine how I would feel if I were at risk of losing my husband--or if he were in a car accident or something. Suddenly those pet peeves would go out the window.
Oh, and RockRose, I LOL'd at your post because my husband is the same way! But he wouldn’t sit around watching me clean and cook--on the day of the party, he'd disappear—he’d have to run to the office…just for a while. Then he'd show up with ice and drinks fifteen minutes before the party started and he would load them into the bin, and right when he finished, the first guest arrived! Meanwhile, I'd been cooking, cleaning the house, mowing the lawn, cleaning the deck, hosing off the lawn chairs, etc. since the crack of dawn. Grrrr... Well, I didn't have your solution (which I love!), but I did come up with one of my own--I now hire someone to help me! He's happy and I'm happy and it works for us!
Anyway...I hope you come back, Donald, and tell us all about the wonderful woman you married!
Jame, you're young. Don't go down this path, really, it's the path of unhappiness.
Don't expect your boyfriend to ask "what's wrong". Don't do it. And then, don't say you're still with him today and happy as ever.
You are on a path for unhappiness. If you have a nice, sweet guy who is kind of clueless, clue him in. Don't make him as what's wrong.
For example, say my feelings were really hurt when I thought we were going out and then you decided to go out with your guy friends instead. And then let him make it up by taking you out somewhere nice in the next couple days and apologizing.
Your life will be so way much more better if you follow my advice, I promise. Promise. Don't expect your guy (if he's a nice, caring guy) to guess what's wrong, or be willing to keep asking. Just tell him clearly and then let him make it up.
I promise.
Don't expect your boyfriend to ask "what's wrong". Don't do it. And then, don't say you're still with him today and happy as ever.
You are on a path for unhappiness. If you have a nice, sweet guy who is kind of clueless, clue him in. Don't make him as what's wrong.
For example, say my feelings were really hurt when I thought we were going out and then you decided to go out with your guy friends instead. And then let him make it up by taking you out somewhere nice in the next couple days and apologizing.
Your life will be so way much more better if you follow my advice, I promise. Promise. Don't expect your guy (if he's a nice, caring guy) to guess what's wrong, or be willing to keep asking. Just tell him clearly and then let him make it up.
I promise.
I don't have time to give a full response. But I majorly agree with AJH84, JayBay, njw753! Everything they said...I would say too. The only thing I want to address at the time is .
"A woman's feelings can be hurt and a man (even a caring sensitive one) doesn't even know it! She may then go off and pout and when he asks "whats wrong" she may say "nothing". To the man, he believes her and goes on his merry way while she remains hurt and files the incident away in her long list of such incidents. After a few years of those memories, the man is blind-sided when she rejects him. "
The only problem I have had with this is my boyfriend not bothering to ask whats wrong because he doesn't want to "deal with it" Those are his words. And even with those words I don't like to carry on with the disagreement. I'm still with him today and happy as ever.
"A woman's feelings can be hurt and a man (even a caring sensitive one) doesn't even know it! She may then go off and pout and when he asks "whats wrong" she may say "nothing". To the man, he believes her and goes on his merry way while she remains hurt and files the incident away in her long list of such incidents. After a few years of those memories, the man is blind-sided when she rejects him. "
The only problem I have had with this is my boyfriend not bothering to ask whats wrong because he doesn't want to "deal with it" Those are his words. And even with those words I don't like to carry on with the disagreement. I'm still with him today and happy as ever.
DLG, a whole lot of women do operate in their relationships the way you described - and it is great to ask why. I honestly don`t know. I just know that most girls grow up fighting in a shifty and rather manipulative way and continue to be rather backstabbers than confrontational later on. It is partially because society doesn`t easily accept confrontational women. And a lot of men still fall for the "damsel in distress" mode or the little princess early in the game and are surprised once reality kicks in.
At the same time you see by the other commentators here that there are great exceptions and also new generations with positive ideas regarding marriage and relationships. I used to think that I would want to get married "to my best friend" because a friendship needs to develop through mutual inspiration, excitement and reliability in tough situations. Decades later now, all it would take is a great sense of humor that nips all the nit-picky behaviors in a marriage in the bud.
At the same time you see by the other commentators here that there are great exceptions and also new generations with positive ideas regarding marriage and relationships. I used to think that I would want to get married "to my best friend" because a friendship needs to develop through mutual inspiration, excitement and reliability in tough situations. Decades later now, all it would take is a great sense of humor that nips all the nit-picky behaviors in a marriage in the bud.
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