attracted to another man should i leave my husband?

[Laurka]

HI!!! so glad i found this forum.. Hope to get some fresh opinion, please help! I have been married for over 3 years, no kids. Everything started from such a strong love... he proposed after three dates... we were married in 6 months. I am 25 years old now, and my husband is 42 years old... once upon a time, we used to have such a passionate and mind-altering intimate relationship.... however it's been so long ago... Now, we have sex once in three months. And i found myself in the situation when I am madly attracted to another man... with my whole heart and sexually...There is nothing i can do without thinking of him...think he is attracted to me as well (but he does not know i am married) and he is 24 years old we have more in common then i do with my husband. I now came to the conclusion that my sexual life with my husband is not going to improve in the future, and if i stay i will be stuck like this for the rest of my life... but i have so much respect for him

[peekawho]

I stopped man-hunting too, and look where it got ME!

[Laurka]

thank you ever so much for your kind words!!! it kind of gives me some hope... :)... i was thinking of talking to him after the New Year, i so don't want to hurt him..... he loves me...(and deeply care for him) also i know for a fact that he could be the best friend i've ever had!

[Laurka]

what is the right way? complete honesty? or soft diplomatic approach?

do you find the place to move first or do you tell first?

p.s. we do not fight at all, always discuss and compromise, however he is not even aware (not even suspicious) of me contemplating the seperation, so it will be like a snow in the middle of the hot summer for him...

[anxiousmomtobe?]

I would wait for the New Year.  I would tell him before you start looking for a place.

I would talk to an attorney before you approach him.  Even the nicest guy can become a beast during a separation.

Firm, but kind is the approach I would take.  Make sure you know in your heart that this is exactly what you want before you leap.  And don't do it for this other guy....only do it if it is what you need to.


c

[Laurka]

i know this might sound crazy but ... yesterday i only had the urge to leave and start living MY life..

but today i have the second voice shouting back at me:

" what are doing! how are you going to make without him?! You are just bored out of head! Stay! You will regret it!!"

and there is a second voice screaming inside

"Free me!!! I want to go and live my life! See what life has to offer! You can make it! You will be happy! Go date or do whatever you can, if the problems were not fixed within last 2 years, they are not going to fixed later, that's how you will be stuck for the rest of your life!! Open your eyes!!"

I should go and see the attorney anyway i think......

[PlateletGal]

Hi Laurka,

I disagree with the other poster. Your husband sounds like he's never treated you badly so I think you should consider speaking to him before the attorney. The reason being, is that if you talk to an attorney first and he finds out, it will be a double stab in the back to him and hurt him even worse.