biology said yes, relationship says no

[kjbandme]

I'm 41 and 6 weeks pregnant for the very first time. It was unplanned. I was using the fertility awareness method (FAM) and just got overly confident I guess-- honestly didn't think I could get pregnant.  The relationship is only six months old, love each other but he's younger (34) and not ready, neither do I feel ready-- he definitely wants to have an abortion. I've been feeling so sick lately that I can't seem to get my head around a decision but I know I have to... I still just can't believe I'm pregnant.  Want to hear from ladies out there with similar experiences or insights in this situation.  How would I do this alone? How do you do this with an unwilling partner?

[BabyHardiman]

How would you feel if you miscarried your baby right now?

[kjbandme]

also please don't respond if your respect for LIFE does not include the life of the mother.

thank you!!

[kjbandme]

one more thought:

I'd be curious to know how many women are posting and saying have the baby, that already have a satisfying career or a passion in their life other than their children.

[kjbandme]

update... you can also see my more recent post, He said WHAT?!!

Thank you everyone for all the advice that is given in good spirit. Again, I can do without the judgmental ones, so please don't waste your time on me if you are not being into being kind.  I know these forums can get pretty blunt.

I am not considering adoption so please stop sending me notes about that.  Re: abortion: again, please don't send moralistic preachy stuff. We all have an opinion, I understand it's a very primal thing and everyone is very charged about it but if you are truly trying to help please hold your tongue on the "I would never do that"  it's not helpful.

That said, to the truly interested and compassionate hearts out there:

I am truly between a rock and a hard place. I have now gone from 6 to 10 weeks and from ambivalent partner to non-existent partner.  And yes, I am still undecided and yes, I know I am running out of time.  I have gone back and forth so many times my head hurts. I am fully aware of the magnitude of my decision and yes, I am all too aware that this could be my one and only chance.  But then again, it might not be. Anyone got the crystal ball out there???

On a brighter note, I feel physically better so I feel better able and in a better state of mind to make a decision I can live with.

Thank you for thinking of me.

[BabyHardiman]

Can I ask what you decided to do?

[Glo_worm]

i'm sorry but i do not feel that abortion is even an option. Do you realize how many people would give anything to be a parent and biology says no? if your partner is not ready and you don't think you are ready then i think you should consider adoption. or like others have said if you have a change of heart when you see that beautiful life moving on that monitor then you should have your parter see it also. if he doesn't want to be a parent and you do then you don't need him you just be the best dern mom you can be and give the baby all the love in your heart and you will do just fine. :)