Aa
im back
Hey everyone im back. Its link aka shyguy. Something went wrong with my account so i had to make a new one. Anyway, wow alot to respond too,lol
RockRose- No i dont go after super model women.. I know they are totally out of my league. I been rejected alot by average women. Why cant i not go after a women who i find somewhat attracted too?
Mami- I talked to my friend today, who gives great advice on dating and he said something interesting, almost the same as you.. He said if u were to put a good looking guy infrot of alot of women to judge, the ladies would have mixed answers on if he's good looking or not, while viceversa if a good looking female was there, it be alot different. I guess its true.. Women are not as visual as men are. And, im starting to be convinced that it really is all how a guy acts.. Im starting to feel good about approaching a woman. Im tired of this shy, scared feeling.. I have learned a lesson with the last girl, dont joke around with someone you dont know,lol. Everyone here has been awsome.. I love this forum.. I guess there still is hope for me :)
RockRose- No i dont go after super model women.. I know they are totally out of my league. I been rejected alot by average women. Why cant i not go after a women who i find somewhat attracted too?
Mami- I talked to my friend today, who gives great advice on dating and he said something interesting, almost the same as you.. He said if u were to put a good looking guy infrot of alot of women to judge, the ladies would have mixed answers on if he's good looking or not, while viceversa if a good looking female was there, it be alot different. I guess its true.. Women are not as visual as men are. And, im starting to be convinced that it really is all how a guy acts.. Im starting to feel good about approaching a woman. Im tired of this shy, scared feeling.. I have learned a lesson with the last girl, dont joke around with someone you dont know,lol. Everyone here has been awsome.. I love this forum.. I guess there still is hope for me :)
I say, confidence and positive personality is very sexy and attractive! I prefer a man with lots of confidence than one that is insecure and constanly full of self doubts.
Yea but women dont approach me... so what must i do? I been single and dateless for long because women never seem to show interest
You approach them! Life is what you make it out to be and goes by quickly, so you go out there and approach the woman of your dreams, if she rejects you, oh well, NEXT, move on to the next. Be yourself, and take a chance in life and women. Don't accept rejection as an attack on your appearance or the "self". You don't know why they rejected you, but don't dwell on it and move on to the next. You might be pleasantly surprised to have one of those ladies that you hand picked, say, "Yes, I'd love to have lunch (or whatever) with you1"....just do it! ....one day, you will be back here and say, "Thanks ladies!"
Yea I will do just that! And you know what? After that fallout with the last girl, I just laughed it off.. I agree, dwelling on stuff is a waste of time. Check this out though, at one of my jobs, alot of girls come in, well not a whole lot considering the economy.. Anyway is it unwise to to complement them? Or if it's ok, what could i say? Basically is hitting on custumers a bad thing to do?
Us girls like to be appraoched not to approach the guy.....for me anyway if i have to approach a guy it is desprate and gives me constant doubts, like does he really like me or is it because he thinks i'm up for it and has a sure thing..... so if woman think like me and all my girlfriends do, then your gona have to take charge and take action. Approach them!!
i have never ever approached a man. if they are interested they can approach me. well...back in the day they could. now...hubby gives them the stink eye, flexes some muscle and scares everyone away. lol.
LOL, Nice. Well put, Pens. Ok so i'll approach a woman.. I guess i just don't know what to say.. Yea i'll say hi,. but what else? I just dont want to make her feel awkward..And i guess the big reason why i don't feel attractive is because of the lack of sucess on xxxxxxxxxxxx.xxx.. I made a good profile, and got smiling pics but still no sucess.. So i just assume my looks arent cutting it.. Yea i know i been told pof isnt a good site.. ButI hear people do have sucess there.. Two of my friends had luck. Im just wondering what gives..What do those women on that site want? O and i dont message very good looking women, i know they wont go for me.. Those women are usually stuck up anyway.. But i've messaged pretty, average, even not so good looking.. I'd be lucky to get a response..What does it take for a woman to give an average joe like me a shot?
Shyguy, I'm going to shoot straight from the hip. There are things about your profile that are appealing, and things that are the kiss of death on POF.
The main pic is great. Unless you have photos of you in groups or doing something very funny or interesting, take all the rest off. They are pictures you took of yourself alone in your apartment. Not appealing. The one smiling headshot is sufficient. The rest makes you look a bit lonely and preoccupied with your expressions.
In your description, remove everything that comes after "and I work an average of 42 hours a week as well" and before "I'd love to hear from you". It's all off putting, judgmental and puts a lot of pressure on a woman to measure up. It is not welcoming in the slightest, and frankly reads like a long history of bad relationships and a jaded guy. Close with let's meet for "coffee, or lunch, or dinner, or to go kite flying . . . "
The profile as you have it will not get any responses. You appear prickly and lonely.
This is from my heart, not meant to hurt you, just to give you a real heads up to what you're doing.
The main pic is great. Unless you have photos of you in groups or doing something very funny or interesting, take all the rest off. They are pictures you took of yourself alone in your apartment. Not appealing. The one smiling headshot is sufficient. The rest makes you look a bit lonely and preoccupied with your expressions.
In your description, remove everything that comes after "and I work an average of 42 hours a week as well" and before "I'd love to hear from you". It's all off putting, judgmental and puts a lot of pressure on a woman to measure up. It is not welcoming in the slightest, and frankly reads like a long history of bad relationships and a jaded guy. Close with let's meet for "coffee, or lunch, or dinner, or to go kite flying . . . "
The profile as you have it will not get any responses. You appear prickly and lonely.
This is from my heart, not meant to hurt you, just to give you a real heads up to what you're doing.
There is a difference between dating a coworker, which i discourage, because if it doesn't work out, you have to see her everyday, listen to possible gossip spreading around and it results in an uncomfortable work environment, BUT a customer is an outsider and I say if the opportunity is right and she responds, GO FOR IT! Who cares....life is to short...go for it! Hugs, Judy
ps....be very careful on the approach and what you say as long as you don't seem to come on too strong.
Well, i do apprciate you ladies giving me this advice.. I am still convinced that the female gender is still screwed up... Alot of women seem to adore dating "losers" My roomate is 25 years old and shes dating someone who is 41 years old, he still lives at home with his folks, has 5 d.u.i's on his record and can't seem to hold a job, yet she digs him because she thinks he's so handsome. My step-mom is so correct on women. She says women are so stupid. It's a looks thing. My step-mom said men are not the problem in the dating world today, its women. Women would rather date somone very good looking, a bad boy.. why? ? Because its a drama thing, women love drama because it gives them something to think about.. We men hate drama and have other things going on in our lives.Women however have too much time on their hands and dig drama. I know u all dont mean it saying im good lookign etc. Its a lie. Why am i still single then if im goodlooking? You all are lying. Women are attracted to bad boys, losers etc, because they love drama. I went through alot of drama this year because of a girl. She couldnt take a joke and therefore started drama. And since im not good lookign or a badboy she wouldnt go for me. Shes unaccepting person. I think women need to search their souls and realize they are the problem themselves. Women are why many good men are still left single and lonley... If women would learn to grow up and focus on other things than drama, then they wouldn't complain about these losers they are dating. Ladies, this is something your gonna have to think about.
It's more important for you to continue to pout and complain, shyguy, than it is for you to get a woman.
That's suddenly become obvious. When you are about to come up with strategies that would put you in the game, you'd rather spend your time complaining and feeling superior to women.
It's now clear. It means more to you to complain than it means to achieve the goal you think you have - which is to find love. You get more out of hating women than you think you would get out of being loved by one.
It's your life, dude. That last post you wrote was about the most completely off-putting thing I've ever read.
That's suddenly become obvious. When you are about to come up with strategies that would put you in the game, you'd rather spend your time complaining and feeling superior to women.
It's now clear. It means more to you to complain than it means to achieve the goal you think you have - which is to find love. You get more out of hating women than you think you would get out of being loved by one.
It's your life, dude. That last post you wrote was about the most completely off-putting thing I've ever read.
This is exactly what I pointed out in the beginning your severe negative view of women is a huge turnoff. How about all the good women screwed over by dirtbag guys? If everyone thought the way you do this world would be full of angry lonely people. There are good and bad among both genders. Dating is Learning and weeding out the ones that are no good for you. I'm tired of writting the same advice to you over and over so my last suggestion is to seek therapy.
give up on women. with your attitude you're never going to land a long term relationship. again...your generalizing all women based on the few losers you've picked up. and yes there are men who thrive on drama. i know quite a few.
you're not looking for advice anymore. you're looking for people to stroke your ego. you've come to the wrong place. right now you are extremely bitter and pathetic. i feel sorry for you.
you're not looking for advice anymore. you're looking for people to stroke your ego. you've come to the wrong place. right now you are extremely bitter and pathetic. i feel sorry for you.
Your right, i should give up on women. The last girl needs to seek out the help of a mental help proffessional.Its so pathetic she runs away over a harmless joke. I totally remind myself of that guy from "catcher and the rye" Or Dr. House. A few losers i picked up? Try alot.. Its never worked out with each lady i meet. I dunno, women seem to have some mental problems or something... I dont get why they get easily turned off by small dumb stuff. Dont feel sorry for me, Im sorry i dont make alot of money or im not athletic.. My theroy of women is true from experince.. No one on xxxxxxxxxxxx.xxx would give me a shot...
Those women are at fault for being with those dirbags..My step-mom is so right.. She said loser men are smart because women are dumb enough to be with them. She said women are so stupid..She is so true..
Yes blame the women rather than look at yourself and perhaps why you drive them away. Geesh no self reflection at all. Grow up and stop blaming all women for your short comings. Your step mother sounds like she has real issues herself. As far as the last girl you were with well I think she was smart enough to know not to get involved with you. She's not the one who needs mental health. Maybe she thought your joke was rude and classless. The more you post the more we can all see exactly why you've been single for all this time.
you obviously insulted her or freaked her out so much (OR see saw what your personality was really like) and was smart. she took for the hills. it's no surprise why you're single. none at all. and it has nothing to do with money or looks. it's your personality...it s*cks. it s*cks big time. i wouldn't even want to be friends and just hang out. i'd avoid you like the plague. you're a miserable, woman hating...jerk. you keep blaming women for YOUR problems when the only one to blame for YOUR issues....is you.
You are convinced that the female gender is all screwed up? Ok, you are your own worst enemy and this is the type of comment that will not only turn women off, it will turn all women off and no one is going to tolerate you! You just blurr out of you mouth without thinking....for example, you have a lot of ladies "female gender" on this forum trying to help you out and this "all screwed up"...would include us and I take offense to it! What the hell is wrong with you! You can't get a woman, because when you open your mouth you turn them off then you are depressed and don't understand why you can't get a woman or are misunderstood...it's what comes out of your mouth without thinking! AND you are a likeable person, but your abrasive comments towards all women is a turn off and to us ladies here that are trying to make you understand the gender better....You are your own worst enemy and I'm done.
Alright, first off lets all calm down. I deserved the stuff penswritter said to me.. I don't hate women. I've just had alot of bad experinces.. And not sure what to do. As for the last girl, alright, alright i shouldnt have played that harmless joke on her, however, i dont belive why she ran off is 100 percent my fault, yes i was at fault for some but, i truley do belive she is a player.. Think about it, shes a totally sweet girl, low selfesteem that was the same type of girl back in 04 who totally hurt my feelings..
You have no idea what i have gone through in my life..Do i have soul searching to do? You betcha. I need to figure out why I dont like myself. I appreciate the advice.. But the facts are that you are not around me in real life 24-7. Why do i have low self esteem? I gone to alot of parties, public places, etc, i never had a girl come up and flirt with me.. I would try to make eye contact, usually the girl would just look away. Do you see why im hesitant on approaching? As for POF, i send out so many messages, get very few replies and even then those girls stop talking to me.. It dosen't make me feel cool, ya know? When i get rejected by so many people.. That is my life, never had sucess with women.. I dunno, im just not likeable by females. And btw, i dont say this stuff to females in real life, im nice to them.. But they still don't seem to be interested in me. Ok? I hope you can understand this now.. Being a male is different than females. Females have guys chasing after them.. Us guys have it really tough.. And rejection really does hurt. Im not bashing anyone.. Im telling as is.
You have no idea what i have gone through in my life..Do i have soul searching to do? You betcha. I need to figure out why I dont like myself. I appreciate the advice.. But the facts are that you are not around me in real life 24-7. Why do i have low self esteem? I gone to alot of parties, public places, etc, i never had a girl come up and flirt with me.. I would try to make eye contact, usually the girl would just look away. Do you see why im hesitant on approaching? As for POF, i send out so many messages, get very few replies and even then those girls stop talking to me.. It dosen't make me feel cool, ya know? When i get rejected by so many people.. That is my life, never had sucess with women.. I dunno, im just not likeable by females. And btw, i dont say this stuff to females in real life, im nice to them.. But they still don't seem to be interested in me. Ok? I hope you can understand this now.. Being a male is different than females. Females have guys chasing after them.. Us guys have it really tough.. And rejection really does hurt. Im not bashing anyone.. Im telling as is.
I would say, shyguy, that you have extremely elevated self-esteem.
You seem to have a feeling of entitlement that isn't backed up by any kind of social skills.
You seem to have a feeling of entitlement that isn't backed up by any kind of social skills.
So what is it your saying? Im not following here.. I have very low self esteem, guilty as charged
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