I wasnt quite sure where to post this, or if i even should post this, but i have to ask someone and this is the only place i can go to for help or advice becasue when i tell my mom she thinks im making it up, and when i told her i was depressed she blamed herself.. soo...
Okay my uncle was bipolar(really, really bipolar, he was put into a hospital) and it runs in the family right?
anyway i went to the doctor last year for my depression and he said i had clinical depression but i didnt wanna go to a therapist so i just didnt go back.. and i still have my depression problems although i dont harm myself anymore and i dont have suicidal thoughts as frequently. But my depression has developed into something that seems for like bipolar disorder than anything else cuz i have random highs and then i get really depressed( and i dont do drugs, nor am i on any perscribed medication)
BUT onto the schitzo stuff XD
I heard that being bipolar you can also have halutionations, so maybe im not schizophrenic but i cant help but wonder, im paraniod of alot of things including mirrors, bathrooms and 3:00 AM, 3:00 because i more often than not wake up around that time every night and hear things and see things. like angry little girls in my room, heavy footsteps that sound like boots, i hear the same melody over and over again(be it from an icecream truck or a fly) and various other things( like my mom saying i sing to myself at night around that time).. During the day quite often i see blue flashes of light around me, like something flying by, and i sometimes hear these odd screaching sounds that sound like some kind of like.. phoenix? I see people in the corner of my eye that were never there and ive found scratches on myself that were most definatley not casued by my cats, i wouldnt call it 'hearing voices' but theres a constant line of chatter going on in my head, they argue alot, and each one is like.. a different person? I feel like screaming all the time and visualize killing people alot.
I have a feeling im not doing so well mentally.. and im only 14, help? please dont call me immature, im not making this up, i just want help.