Too small?

[shuufly]

My fiancee and I have been together for 3+ years.  We are both women, who love each other very much.  Recently we have been trying out strap-ons.  I discovered that a finger can fit inside me comfortably but nothing larger.  It hurts to use the strap-on or a vibrator.  I really want to be closer to her but I'm not sure how to get around the pain of penetration. Am I just small or is there some other problem?

[shuufly]

Thank you!

[hnw121507]

I would not personally suggest a dilator it sounds as though this should be an intimate experience between you and your partner....try getting a small dildo as natural as possible lubricate well and take it slow allowing your body to adjust to penitration during intimate relations with your partner and ask her to stimulate you with it before strapping it on after full arousal.......take it easy and give it time even straight females have to adjus to being penitrated......best wishes and good luck

[hnw121507]

being small can be overcome but with time...i would not personally suggest dialators because you want this to be an intimate experiance for you and your partner.....use lubricant and a small dildo not vibrator try to find one that is as natural looking and feeling as possible to start.. .be sure you are fully arroused and lubricated prior to insertion and take it as slow and easy as you need for comfort.....you dont have to fully insert it all at once this is controlable with patience......you may also try having your partner stimulate you with the dildo and allow you to become used to it before strapping it on.....best wishes and good luck

[remar]

Get the dilators. I'm not sure if you can order them online or your Dr can prescribe them for you. Start with the smallest one and work your way up from there. I hope this helps.

[SincerelyYoursT]

I definitely get it… the closeness with penetration… a deeper intimate trusting connection.
Obviously the vagina is meant to stretch and be penetrated…
You probably already tried this, but try it after you have orgasmed (once)… then the vagina is more dilated and wet…
Try gradually getting larger, start small and shallow… it will work :)

[SincerelyYoursT]

penetration is not just about man & women, or skin to skin….
There is also something els going on that is extremely intimate.,
When penetrated sexually by another person (penis, dildo, finger, etc….), you are allowing someone to enter you in a very sensual way (even if it is with a dildo)… the other person is controlling how fast, hard, deep, etc…
It allows you to be vulnerable and trusting with that person…. Knowing that person can hurt you (by being too rough).. but they dont… the penetrator has power if you in the moment,,,
personally speaking… it is that intimacy that makes penetration pleasurable… (its not physically pleasurable without that connection)…
It that situation where you are inviting to be penetrated… embracing your own vulnerability, trusting… etc…  On the other side of it, the penetrator (Man or women) has the power, has been invited to enter, has to be gentle and follow the reactions and body language… feeling a connectedness form doing "it" to the other… rather than with the other (for a lack of words)…

[AnnieBrooke]

I only questioned your use of a toy because it hurts you.  If something hurts you and also seems irrelevant to stimulation because you're a woman, it seemed like a lot of work to go to the option of getting dilators and all.  But if it gives you pleasure because of the position, then by all means, get the dilators and see if they help.

[shuufly]

I've told her readily, just trying to do some research on my own. : /

[shuufly]

Uh, thanks for the advice, although I don't really appreciate the questioning of our use of a strap-on. It makes us feel closer because we can be on top of one another, while when using fingers that is not possible. I of course enjoy that as well, but this question was specifically about my vagina, not really questioning my use of a toy.  Please address it as such, thanks...

[NOHARD]

Hi Fly, your two women who love on another, you love your bodys, so why do you thing you need to have sex with one and other like men? the reason your together is you dont like men and dont wont sex with them, can you see were I'm coming from.
If you love one and other that should be all you want, you have fingers, lips and tongues, so really you should just leave it there, if you want sex like having a man around then get one.
Good Luck

Look One last thing, if your having troubles with your bodys and need to find someting closer google dobson and rooss, all you want in one place.

[hero65]

logically you're closer to her if you don't use a strap on because u have full body contact
the problem is that you feel uncomfortable but you just want to solve the problem without talking about it because you want your partner to be as happy as she can and you think you're jeopardizing your relationship and your happiness if you say anything ...
i think you should be honest with her and i'm sure she'll understand and you'll figure something out :) but please don't take a decision that affects both of your lives on your own
gd luck

[remar]

They are called dilators. Her Dr can also help with choosing several from smaller to larger.

[AnnieBrooke]

Why would a strap-on make you feel closer to her, if she is female?  It's just a gadget (and a male-mimicking one at that, which seems strange in a lesbian relationship for the implication that all women, even those not turned on by men, somehow need men's "parts" for sexual satisfaction).  It's not like the clitoris requires vaginal penetration to get stimulated.  (In fact, as a straight woman I always thought that was probably one of the benefits of being a lesbian.  As Roseanne once joked, "It's weird that people always say 'lesbians hate men, lesbians hate men.'  I don't know why they would -- they don't have to sleep with 'em."  Penetration is not always comfortable.)  Why not just drop the idea of a strap-on, if it hurts?

Anyway, if it's important to you to use one or accept one, and if you want your vagina to be bigger, there are some theraputic devices that graduate from smaller to larger that women use to insert into their vagina to overcome vaginal tightness over time.  I am sorry, I don't remember what they are called, but they are probably readily found online.