Husband's sleep apnea and bed wetting... very concerned!

[theconcernedlady]

I have been married to my husband for nearly 6 months.  When we were dating and getting serious, I would spend nights with him only every so often.  I starting noticing then that he not only snored, but that he would have trouble breathing in his sleep - and in fact would stop breathing for long moments and then catch his breath in his sleep.  It turns out that it had always been a problem for him and his college roommate, ex-girlfriends, etc. all thought he had sleep apnea.  After doing some research we decided it definitely was sleep apnea.  I urged him to talk to his doctor about it so one day, he brought it up to his GP but she kind of brushed it off!  He hasn't made an attempt since then to get treatment or anything.

When we got married and moved into our house, we bought a comfortable bed and made the room dark so that we could both sleep well at night.  Well, it seemed that his snoring stopped because I never heard it!  And the nights I did wake up in the middle of the night, or heard him fall sleep before me, I didn't hear him struggle to breathe like before.  Then one night a friend of ours spend the night on our couch, and the next morning told me that he had trouble sleeping...because he heard my husband's snoring all the way from our bedroom!  I figured it might have been because we had been drinking that night and that triggered it.  However, as time has gone on, there are more and more nights when I hear my husband snoring and struggling to breath.  I usually wake him up and tell him to stop sleeping on his back, etc. and that does the trick...at least, as far as I can tell.

Now there is a big problem added.  I have woken up in the morning to find his side of the bed wet, his clothes changed, sleeping on a towel, and wet clothes in the laundry.  The first time I remember this happening was before we were married, and I spent a night at his house after we came back from a party.  I felt the wet bed in the middle of the night and thought he had been sweating a lot and changed his clothes.  Then, that happened again quite some time later, but I wrote it off.  Since we have been married, within the last 6 months, he has wet the bed about once a month, but not very frequently.

But I am very concerned because this past week, he wet the bed on Saturday, Thursday, AND Friday night.  I also heard him struggling to breathe in his sleep.  I don't know what is causing this and I am so worried about him.

So my question is, could sleep apnea be causing his bed wetting?  How can he get treatment for that?  And my other question is... since he has never admitted to it and I never mention it in the morning when it happens - basically, I pretend to ignore it... how can I bring this up to him without embarrassing him??  He prides himself on being strong for me so I know this would just make him feel so ashamed and I don't want to do that... but I want him to get help!!

[CrohnieToo]

Were you w/your husband when his family doctor brushed off his mention of sleep problems?

You may want to FAX a short note to this doctor telling her of your concern about his loud snoring, his stopping breathing during sleep, your having to rouse him enough to roll off his back, his nocturia (you don't have to mention bed wetting, nocturia is the frequent need to urinate during the night, doesn't mean he wasn't able to waken and go to the bathroom) and express your concern and ask for a referral to an accredited sleep doctor for him.

A paper trail can do WONDERS w/doctors and their response to your requests.

[zombielicious]

i snore severely, thank goodness i have a great understanding hubby who does not mind the snoring, but is concerned with the pauses in my breathing at night... i went for a sleep study and it was that night that i did not snore and slept like a baby...so that happened twice.. no help there,, as far as the bed wetting you should not be embarrassed to tell him whats going on... he probably has it in the back of his mind daily wondering if you know or not, so talk to him and get help soon... good luck

[KatEyes]

The GP who just brushed him off did him a disservice. If you tell a doctor someone snores and stops breathing in their sleep, that should trigger an evaluation of their sleep. He needs to tell the doctor he wants a sleep study. I've read articles about children who are bedwetters and have sleep apnea. Not certain of the technical mechanisms involved, but I do know that sleep apnea causes frequent nighttime urination, and it makes sense to me that if that happened while the person was in a sound sleep that an accident could happen. If he were my husband I would push the issue. Sleep apnea is damaging to the sufferer's health and well being. If your husband balks, you may have to bring up the bedwetting. I'm betting if he thought this issue could be resolved, he'd be glad to do it. Just one pearl of wisdom... if his symptoms are not every night, be aware that the night in the sleep lab may happen to be a good night and not give him a diagnosis. Just don't take no as the final answer if you know he is symptomatic, even if it is only sometimes. There are things that can be checked at home over a longer period of time.

[theconcernedlady]

Also...I know that it is not just night sweats, it is definitely urination.