i dont know what to do anymore

[lesbain101]

Im a 16 year old girl and im lesbain but every one always asks me whats wrong i have had to tell 15 people the same story...... im still in love with my ex it has been 10 months and i still like her i also like her best friend. and another ex im not going to tell you who the they are. my cusin is a syco and i love her she is my BEST FRIEND and im probably never going to see her again because her mom is a b**** and is keeping her and her brother from the rest of the family and it is just so hard to live with out her, she is suisidal and i just want to see her, because i am slowly getting suisidal. i can NEVER breath i have breathing problems. my chest hurts because my chest always hurts i went in to the doctors and had an altrisound on it they didnt find anything bu ti know theres something wrong no one should have pain in there chest not like this pain. im broken hearted im giving up on love because i cant get over my ex and her best friend. i might get held back in school. my family is haveing money problems......... my family is about to loose are ..house.
............ im..... haveing cravings to CUT myself. im a cutter if you cant tell. all my bad ideas are catching up to me and fast!!!!!!!!! i am haveing suisidal dreams and i just dont care about life anymore!!!!!!!!!! every thing is going wrong at school and i just cant keep any of my feelings in anymore people say that im a stressed and depressed person all the time i know i am but i cant help it i just have so much going on and i dont know what to do. every one keeps saying settle down take a breath i have been trying to for 5 years but i just cant anymore and i heard a rumor going arond about me at my school and its true but it doesnt mean people have to point out my inperfections. my dad just had surgury and he yells at me to do things like get him something for himi thought it was on until one day he asked me to change his underwear for him ever since then every thing has been really weird and i havent eaten in like 2 days its just so bad

[boohoowhee]

did you tell your parents you were raped? This would definitely cause a scar in you and I guess it is hard to become a bi that way.. But you must know that not every guy is like that. Majority are jerks, but you must know which are and which aren't. I really hope you'll be open to both sexes and hopefully, the one to save you is a man that you'll really love(: Its not gonna be easy, but worth giving it a try. If you feel the pain coming and that urge to cut yourself, dont. distract yourself. Do something else, anything would do, just dont inflict pain onto yourself.. okay?

[lesbain101]

i cant become bi because i just dont trust guys anymore and when i was younger i was raped by a guy so thats when i knew i could never look at guys again and people dont normally hire 16 year old girls so im at a lose right now becaus i cant get a job and i really dont want all the pain to come back again so i can become bi i have tried all of it i really have but i just couldnt deal with all the pain and i dont cut on my wrists no more room full of scars i have movde to my legs i have been getting help for i tbut tht makes it worse

[boohoowhee]

Dear girl,
  Sigh. It seems that life for you has been pretty ****** huh. I just want to share a story with you, bout another friend of mine. She's a lesbian too and she used to be like you, deeply in love with her ex and unable to let her go. She got depressed, she wanted external pain inflicted on herself because the pain inside her is too much to bear. What she really wnated was pretty simple - a normal life. You didn't state if you want to return to be a bi or straight, but if you do, then you share a common goal with her(:
  What she did in the end was, she got pretty busy. She made herself do work, her life's in a mess but she doesn't care. She just wants her ex out of her life. I'm sure it ain't easy for her, but when it happened, she felt relieved. Not just because her ex was out of her life ( she made an effort not to see her again ) she also realised that now she's turning into a bi, which is quite a happy thing for her. You may want to try what she did to forget her ex, which might really work I believe(:
   And regarding your family problems.. That one doesn't quite need help.. You may want to find a job to get your own allowance instead of taking from your parents, and show more concern to them ( I believe parents love this cause I know mine does(: ). Please don't inflict pain onto yourself cause in the end, you may have what you want - external pain - but if you want this external pain to last, it won't. You may have to do it all over again which will cause scars and ugly cuts on your hands and wrists ( if thats where you're cutting ) Don't ok.? look for healthier means to get her off your mind.
   Oh and regarding the people in school. You can choose to ignore them. I know its pretty hard to do so, especially when they pick on you, but if you don't respond to them, they will not continue because they find it boring to pick on you. Try it ok.?
   I hope your life gets better(: If you have problems, I guess you can talk to me about it.. I ain't very old or matured, but if you like, its ok(: