I am so Guilty of this

[elaine1961]

Stop Critisizing Yourself
by Jane Powell

Are you your own best friend?

Sadly, most women are their own worst enemy. Who needs enemies when you can consult your harshest critic anytime you glance in a mirror? Logically, we should all be our own best friend, but it often isn’t the case. We reserve our harshest criticism for ourselves.

Learn now to be gentle with yourself. You deserve special treatment simply because you are special. Who best to comfort you, but you? Who best to compliment you, but you? Learning to love yourself is the greatest gift that you can give yourself. No expensive cosmetics, no retail therapy can deliver the inner warmth of knowing that you are happy being you.

When we love ourselves, it is no longer important that our hair is not perfect or that our thighs are a little dimpled. We don’t beat ourselves up for imagined imperfections anymore. In fact, we embrace our imperfections.

Today, look in the mirror and smile. The person there will smile right back. She loves you. Love her, too.

[elaine1961]

I went through much the same thing and yes im a perfectionist and im still a people pleaser I am the type of person who does not like conflict so i would rather do something i dont want to, I Hate my body too,Even though i have lost 159lbs, I hate my body more now than i did before, but i looked really hard to find some good point, all i could come up with was "WOW I GOT GREAT FINGER NAILS" I work with them, I keep them well groomed not very long, I like long nails though and  they look nice they are not very practicle, now i have added my hair to the list of likes, I love it when its all washed and blow dried, it dont stay looking nice for long, but i made it nice once so can do it again,

As for inside I love the fact that I care about people, I always put someone else first, thats not always healthy, but i love the fact that i willingly do that,
I love helping people, with whatever it is thats needed, even if its just popping to the shop for a neighbour,

I do stuggle with loving myself, but i do like who i am for other people so thats a start

[skydivediva]

Loving oneself. This is SUCH a hard thing to do. I don't even know where to start. The isolation and lack of self-confidence that my weight has caused for me for decades led me to be a "people pleaser": a chameleon who changed to suit the people I was around at any given moment, to feign interest in things that bored me or deny interest in things that I enjoyed but which weren't popular, to be a workaholic and perfectionist in hopes of avoiding any criticism. As a kid I was "quirky"; as a young adult I had "eclectic" interests---but I gave up all my unique qualities & interests to fit in. And I've been doing it so long I don't even remember who I was. I hate the empty facade I've become. How do you love someone you don't even know? Yesterday I could hear the TV from the other room while I was doing some work around the house. Oprah was interviewing the author of "Eat, Pray, Love" and they were talking about how the first step in weight loss is to stop the war with your body and soul and to accept and love yourself as you are. Several people (my counselor, trainer, bellydance teacher and slim and stylish friend, Angie) have given me the same advice. An article on AOL today offered the same advice, suggesting you look in the mirror at yourself naked, accept what you see, and instead of criticizing all the things that are wrong with your body, find the things you like and resolve to diet, exercise, groom---whatever---to enhance those things. But what if you HATE EVERYTHING you see? I am repulsed when I look in a mirror clothed and much more so naked! What if you can't find a single thing---inside or out---to like about yourself???

[elaine1961]

Today I am going to be kinder to myself,ok well maybe half the day, well what about for the next hour, ok i will start small for the next 5 mins i will NOT critasize myself,