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Need opinion about virginity
Ok, this may be a silly question, but I was talking with my boyfriend about this. Well, I'm 22 and a virgin, but I've had oral sex and mutual masturbation (only recently been doing these activities). I haven't had vaginal sex though. The other night, he did slide his penis in me (with a condom on), he only got halfway in because I said it was hurting, so he stopped. He just wanted to slide in, we weren't going to have "full-on" sex that night.
He was saying that I was no longer a virgin because I had a penis inside of me, but then he retracted his comment and said that he didn't break anything because there wasn't any blood (and I know that not all people bleed their first time), but he did say I was very small, so he said I was still a virgin.
So I just wanted to know what you all think. He has asked about "sliding" into me a few times before, but I said no theo ther times. I'm so paranoid about a pregnancy. I come from a family who doesn't believe in sex before marriage, so if anything were to happen, it would be pretty bad.
I know that nothing is 100% safe other than staying abstinent. He has "potent sperm"... he got tested and instead of the average 1 million sperm, he has double. He has gotten ex-girfriends pregnant on their first time (that's without protection), since he has a latex allergy. He knows there are alternative condoms, but they're more expensive. But he did use a condom with me, despite the internal pain he experienced afterwards, but if didn't use one, I would've never let him go inside of me.
So, am I still a virgin or not??
Thanks!
He was saying that I was no longer a virgin because I had a penis inside of me, but then he retracted his comment and said that he didn't break anything because there wasn't any blood (and I know that not all people bleed their first time), but he did say I was very small, so he said I was still a virgin.
So I just wanted to know what you all think. He has asked about "sliding" into me a few times before, but I said no theo ther times. I'm so paranoid about a pregnancy. I come from a family who doesn't believe in sex before marriage, so if anything were to happen, it would be pretty bad.
I know that nothing is 100% safe other than staying abstinent. He has "potent sperm"... he got tested and instead of the average 1 million sperm, he has double. He has gotten ex-girfriends pregnant on their first time (that's without protection), since he has a latex allergy. He knows there are alternative condoms, but they're more expensive. But he did use a condom with me, despite the internal pain he experienced afterwards, but if didn't use one, I would've never let him go inside of me.
So, am I still a virgin or not??
Thanks!
Thank you for your comment.
As for the child support & health insurance, he pays and he doesn't get to see his child because there is a court order on that he can't go near the mother or the baby. The court order was started by her father, who forbid her to see him after the baby was born. My bf dropped out of college to work more jobs to help take care of the baby, and they were thinking of marriage prior to the baby. So he was going to take responsibility for his actions. As for the abortion, I believe it's the girl's choice, but it was wrong that she made that choice without him knowing about it until after it was done. He wasn't too happy about that.
The latex allergy, at the beginning he did use to break out but he's gotten more accustomed. He knows the mistakes he's made in the past, and it's not totally his fault too... the girls were at fault for not having alternative birth control. Neither he nor I can afford a baby so he knows protection is a must. And since I dont' want to be on the pill now and I know condoms aren't 100% safe, I'm not going to be having full intercourse. My fear of pregnancy overwhelms me and that prevents me from letting things get out of control, because I prevent it from happening in the first place. I'd rather stick to making out, some groping and touching and a little bit of oral. The internal pain that he says is like he's been kicked in the balls, which slowly goes away.
The money thing, he litterally doesn't have any left over after he pays his bills, rent and gets his groceries. He has his own apartment, cell phone, etc... he doesn't even have his license or a car because that expense is just too much. I mean he gets by with what he has, just barely. If I agree to have an ongoing sexual relationship with him, then I would be buying the non latex condoms and I would then go on birth control also. But because I still live at home, I'm keeping our sexual activities to a minimum. Not saying that once I move out I'm going to become a slut or something. I respect my body too much to do something like that.
As for the child support & health insurance, he pays and he doesn't get to see his child because there is a court order on that he can't go near the mother or the baby. The court order was started by her father, who forbid her to see him after the baby was born. My bf dropped out of college to work more jobs to help take care of the baby, and they were thinking of marriage prior to the baby. So he was going to take responsibility for his actions. As for the abortion, I believe it's the girl's choice, but it was wrong that she made that choice without him knowing about it until after it was done. He wasn't too happy about that.
The latex allergy, at the beginning he did use to break out but he's gotten more accustomed. He knows the mistakes he's made in the past, and it's not totally his fault too... the girls were at fault for not having alternative birth control. Neither he nor I can afford a baby so he knows protection is a must. And since I dont' want to be on the pill now and I know condoms aren't 100% safe, I'm not going to be having full intercourse. My fear of pregnancy overwhelms me and that prevents me from letting things get out of control, because I prevent it from happening in the first place. I'd rather stick to making out, some groping and touching and a little bit of oral. The internal pain that he says is like he's been kicked in the balls, which slowly goes away.
The money thing, he litterally doesn't have any left over after he pays his bills, rent and gets his groceries. He has his own apartment, cell phone, etc... he doesn't even have his license or a car because that expense is just too much. I mean he gets by with what he has, just barely. If I agree to have an ongoing sexual relationship with him, then I would be buying the non latex condoms and I would then go on birth control also. But because I still live at home, I'm keeping our sexual activities to a minimum. Not saying that once I move out I'm going to become a slut or something. I respect my body too much to do something like that.
He went halfway in because it was hurting and I told him to stop so he did. I'm not even sure if I want to wait for marriage (like I said before, what happens if I never get married?). I know it's something he doesn't believe in (obviously). Sex is important to him, he's told me that. But he knows because I've never been with anyone before, he's not going to push me. He does have alot of self control. If he was using me or cheating on me, he wouldn't be staying with me throughout this whole time despite that we don't see each other often.
He's nothing like some of the immature college guys who blatantly ask to have sex with me. He has girls hitting on him at work all the time, but they're not the girls that he wants. He doens't believe in cheating since he's been cheated on by every ex he's had. He is mature for his age, he's been through a lot in life and he's ready to settle down. He's not like a typical 23 year old who's into partying and being with many girls as possible. It's just really hard judging someone that you haven't met but have just read by comments on here.
I am a really stubborn person when I want to be, I'm too self conscious to let things get out of hand. I only do what's comfortable to me. I don't give in easily. Like one person said on here, I do have a good head on my shoulders, and people have told me I'm mature for my age also. I've been an honor student all my life, never had detention, probably only ever skipped school once or twice, usually have perfect attendance, musically inclined, have only had 1 alcoholic drink in my life (and it wasn't even on my 21st), never smoked or experiemented with anything, never got any traffic violations or into a car accident ::knock on wood::, never been to a club or a bar, or even stayed out past midnight etc... basically I'm like the goody-goody girl next door.. And I know how guys are, all through high school I've always had more guy friends and I know what they talk about when they're hanging out with their buddies.
I don't let things get hot and heavy, and like I said, we rarely have any alone time together and it's probably going to be even less now that school has started for me again. I've told him no before when he asks to go further. If he just wanted me for sex (which he hasn't got), he would've left me ages ago. So I know he's not just using me and he works long hours and the time he gets out of work and before he sleeps is when we talk on the phone or online. And he hangs out with a few male friends... which one of them I hang around with too.
I know you must all be thinking that I'm just justifying everything about him, but I'm not. I do respect all of your comments and I have kept some of them in mind. It's just hard to judge me or him by what appears on the surface.
He's nothing like some of the immature college guys who blatantly ask to have sex with me. He has girls hitting on him at work all the time, but they're not the girls that he wants. He doens't believe in cheating since he's been cheated on by every ex he's had. He is mature for his age, he's been through a lot in life and he's ready to settle down. He's not like a typical 23 year old who's into partying and being with many girls as possible. It's just really hard judging someone that you haven't met but have just read by comments on here.
I am a really stubborn person when I want to be, I'm too self conscious to let things get out of hand. I only do what's comfortable to me. I don't give in easily. Like one person said on here, I do have a good head on my shoulders, and people have told me I'm mature for my age also. I've been an honor student all my life, never had detention, probably only ever skipped school once or twice, usually have perfect attendance, musically inclined, have only had 1 alcoholic drink in my life (and it wasn't even on my 21st), never smoked or experiemented with anything, never got any traffic violations or into a car accident ::knock on wood::, never been to a club or a bar, or even stayed out past midnight etc... basically I'm like the goody-goody girl next door.. And I know how guys are, all through high school I've always had more guy friends and I know what they talk about when they're hanging out with their buddies.
I don't let things get hot and heavy, and like I said, we rarely have any alone time together and it's probably going to be even less now that school has started for me again. I've told him no before when he asks to go further. If he just wanted me for sex (which he hasn't got), he would've left me ages ago. So I know he's not just using me and he works long hours and the time he gets out of work and before he sleeps is when we talk on the phone or online. And he hangs out with a few male friends... which one of them I hang around with too.
I know you must all be thinking that I'm just justifying everything about him, but I'm not. I do respect all of your comments and I have kept some of them in mind. It's just hard to judge me or him by what appears on the surface.
I never knew you had wooden shoes. Are you, like, from Holland?
Why did he go half way inside you, and he knew you wanted to wait until marriage?
He's sweet talkin you, he's saying things that you want to hear so you would cave in..
I kinda wondering if he's using you.. or cheating on you..
He's sweet talkin you, he's saying things that you want to hear so you would cave in..
I kinda wondering if he's using you.. or cheating on you..
You're not a virgin anymore darling if there's penile penetration involved.
This is just what I would do in your situation- If I could go back, I would've waited to have sex. You have waited this long that giving in now just to see what it is like would be- well I hope something you wouldn't regret but you might and you won't know! Sex complicates things and before you know it, you stop getting to know each other and then you are always just going at it like rabbits. And just so you know.. you can say you just want to continue oral and playing around, but pretty soon, things will get too hot to cool down, and he may not be as patient- nor will you.
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