Aa
Need opinion about virginity
Ok, this may be a silly question, but I was talking with my boyfriend about this. Well, I'm 22 and a virgin, but I've had oral sex and mutual masturbation (only recently been doing these activities). I haven't had vaginal sex though. The other night, he did slide his penis in me (with a condom on), he only got halfway in because I said it was hurting, so he stopped. He just wanted to slide in, we weren't going to have "full-on" sex that night.
He was saying that I was no longer a virgin because I had a penis inside of me, but then he retracted his comment and said that he didn't break anything because there wasn't any blood (and I know that not all people bleed their first time), but he did say I was very small, so he said I was still a virgin.
So I just wanted to know what you all think. He has asked about "sliding" into me a few times before, but I said no theo ther times. I'm so paranoid about a pregnancy. I come from a family who doesn't believe in sex before marriage, so if anything were to happen, it would be pretty bad.
I know that nothing is 100% safe other than staying abstinent. He has "potent sperm"... he got tested and instead of the average 1 million sperm, he has double. He has gotten ex-girfriends pregnant on their first time (that's without protection), since he has a latex allergy. He knows there are alternative condoms, but they're more expensive. But he did use a condom with me, despite the internal pain he experienced afterwards, but if didn't use one, I would've never let him go inside of me.
So, am I still a virgin or not??
Thanks!
He was saying that I was no longer a virgin because I had a penis inside of me, but then he retracted his comment and said that he didn't break anything because there wasn't any blood (and I know that not all people bleed their first time), but he did say I was very small, so he said I was still a virgin.
So I just wanted to know what you all think. He has asked about "sliding" into me a few times before, but I said no theo ther times. I'm so paranoid about a pregnancy. I come from a family who doesn't believe in sex before marriage, so if anything were to happen, it would be pretty bad.
I know that nothing is 100% safe other than staying abstinent. He has "potent sperm"... he got tested and instead of the average 1 million sperm, he has double. He has gotten ex-girfriends pregnant on their first time (that's without protection), since he has a latex allergy. He knows there are alternative condoms, but they're more expensive. But he did use a condom with me, despite the internal pain he experienced afterwards, but if didn't use one, I would've never let him go inside of me.
So, am I still a virgin or not??
Thanks!
What do her parents have to do with it?they didn't make the baby. Also if he pays child support he has the right to see it. if she wanted him to have nothing to do with the child she wouldn't want child support. if the law said he can't see the baby, u might want to check into that. Honey, please i don't want to be mean,but I think you could do better. Sometimes men can fill our heads with so much stuff and we think they are great. They tell us what they want us to hear.
Oh yes, condoms are a must! I know that. No way would I ever let him near me if he didn't use one. And like I said he has that latex allergy, but he still used a latex one that time. And when we do play, we are still mostly clothed (like more than just underwear on), it would probably be more of a temptation if we were both nude, so I don't let it get that far.
I really do appreciate all the comments everyone!
I really do appreciate all the comments everyone!
Also, another comment... The child that he has, the mother will not let him see her (because she has strict parents also)... anyway, to make a long story short, she's now married and has another child with her husband. But my boyfriend is still paying for child support and health insurance for the past 3 years and he hasn't seen his child since she was a few months old. He's not a bad guy, I mean he did have a rocky past before, but he's changed the last few years.
I mean we have a weird relationship where we don't always get to see each otehr like a 'real' couple. We're not technically long distant, but because of our situation, it seems like we are. That's why we 'phone dated' for like 4 months before we even saw each other in person (I met him online through a mutual friend). We still have our daily phone calls,and we've been seeing each other about once a week. He said that if I was any ordinary girl like the ones he used to date, he would've left me a long time ago (because of not being able to see each other a lot), but he says I'm someone totally different and someone he could see himself with in a lasting relationship.
He wants this to work out, and so do I because I know he's been hurt many times, every ex girlfriend that he's had has cheated on him. So he doesn't want to make me do something that would scare me and push me away. So it's not all about sex, although I know he wants it badly. But he respects me enough to not force or coherce me into anything that I don't want. What we have done together was my own choice, and I made sure that I wouldn't let it get out of control, and it hasn't and it won't. We don't have much alone time together in the first place, just like 1.5 hours each week. The other times we both have our friends around.
I mean we have a weird relationship where we don't always get to see each otehr like a 'real' couple. We're not technically long distant, but because of our situation, it seems like we are. That's why we 'phone dated' for like 4 months before we even saw each other in person (I met him online through a mutual friend). We still have our daily phone calls,and we've been seeing each other about once a week. He said that if I was any ordinary girl like the ones he used to date, he would've left me a long time ago (because of not being able to see each other a lot), but he says I'm someone totally different and someone he could see himself with in a lasting relationship.
He wants this to work out, and so do I because I know he's been hurt many times, every ex girlfriend that he's had has cheated on him. So he doesn't want to make me do something that would scare me and push me away. So it's not all about sex, although I know he wants it badly. But he respects me enough to not force or coherce me into anything that I don't want. What we have done together was my own choice, and I made sure that I wouldn't let it get out of control, and it hasn't and it won't. We don't have much alone time together in the first place, just like 1.5 hours each week. The other times we both have our friends around.
two girls with unwanted pregnancies!? huge red flag.the warning!? that this is not the kind of guy you want to spend the rest of your life with. I'm 25 and only now realizing that maybe I should listen to my friends, because they are always right in the end. proceed if you want, I know you are not going to really listen until you find out for yourself. I've been where you've been (rationalizing his behavior) and if there are any red flags, chances are, its not going to work, so don't waste you time. you have a clean slate and the rest of your life ahead of you. find another man with less baggage.
Well I've read and heard about potential side effects of being on birth control, like weight gain or just something since I don't know how my body will react. I don't take any other kind of medications (I hardly even take OTC stuff anyway), I've weighed practically the same for years and stuff like that. So I don't want some kind of sudden change in my health, if any.
Thank you! I do believe that sex is not everything in a relationship. Because if one bases their relationship on sex, and then the sex becomes bad or one person's drive is diminished, then there's nothing left of the relationship because everything before it was sex-driven. And there are stages of love/committment/intimacy (Sternberg's Triangular Theory) and the more two people love each other, sex is not as important as the earlier stages (like in a lust stage). And there are people who are married and just don't have sex anymore and they are perfectly happy. Haha, here's my psychology degree coming into play, but these kinds of topics were of interest to me and I tend to believe in what research says since it's been replicated and looked at it from different views & methods. So I guess I can say aside from being raised from a different cultural background (I was born in the U.S though, been here all my life) I am not like a typical college girl who's into partying, drinking, drugs and promiscuity :)
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