need help! serious vaginal tearing

Question

My boyfriend and I have been having sex now for months. Although he is quite large I never had too much of a problem-didnt hurt or bleed. Last week; however, he tried a new position and I noticed small vaginal tear of my perineum and was totally freaked out. It stopped hurting in a day or so last night we tried again. During foreplay he did something and I felt a large tear it was sooo painful and I started to panic. Now there is a REALLYlarge tear and Im wondering if I need stitches. It has been torn about a 1/2 inch and now i have two small flaps which I believe is the skin that was once my perineum. he is my only partner ever and Im scared I just ruined my vagina...is this normal to tear? did I tear part of my hymen skin or did I do more serious damage. I no longer have a gyno since I have no insurance since graduating college. PLEASE help if anyone has any advice!

leelan10 · Answer

Hey all...I contacted planned parenthood and they said a check up would be 160 which i obviously couldnt do...i called my gyno and spoke with her and she said that what i felt was major tearing was minimal and stitches are only used in the cases where there is a lot of bleeding or when it is unable to stop bleeding...thank you all soooo much for your replies they helped greatly since I was such a mess over this whole thing! thankfully im feeling much better...but im not having sex for a while just to mkae sure its healed up

erikadominica · Answer

is there nowhere you can go to that offers emergency medical care for free that isnt some back alley rip off? and just keep it bathed until you can get it seen to somehow, at least that way you're lowering the risk of infection until a professional checks it. And I'm sure your family would help, even if it does mean getting into some trouble with them, family get over it. At the end of the day, its your health on the line here.

leelan10 · Answer

yeaa i know im just trying to figure out what to do...I dont have money and im stuck between a rock and a hard place with my family since they'd freak if they knew iwas having sex.

AnnieBrooke · Answer

Gee leelan, even if you have to pay cash, I'd have it looked at before self-treating.  You want to be sure there is nothing seriously wrong.

erikadominica · Answer

Mine healed on its own within about 3 weeks on its own, I was offered stitches to help it heal faster but I don't like needles so I decided against it. You can get mild antiseptic from any pharmacy. Just rinse the area off with warm water and use a cotton bud or cotton ball to dab the antiseptic onto the tear around 4 times a day. If you're really worried about it, try and get it seen to as soon as possible. Best wishes x

leelan10 · Answer

what is a mild antiseptic bath? where could i get this?  and this happened to you also? did you need stitches or did it just heal on its own? im worried that i'll be lose now that it ripped so far down will that heal or do I have to just deal ?

erikadominica · Answer

I'd make an appointment pretty sharpish at a local a+e department and have it checked out. It might not be anything serious but I personally wouldn't want to run the risk of it getting serious. In the mean time, I wouldn't recommend any more sex or foreplay until it been checked out, just in case it tears it further. I've had the same problem in the past and was told to refrain from any sexual activity until it was completely healed and to bathe it regularly with mild antiseptic to stop it getting infected. Best of luck x

silver&gold · Answer

I would certainly get advice about having stitches, it is a very delicate area and a lot of women who tear in that area after giving birth require stitches. It sounds like its quite a large tear and healing takes a while in that area as its always being irritated by going to the toilet etc.
Please  don,t just leave it as you don,t want the tear to get any worse and become very painful.  Good luck .

  Angie