Uncontrolled 8 yr old

[jird15]

my 8 yr old 100 lb son is uncontrollable with me. He hits, bites, pinches, twists my arms.  I have started locking him in his rooms for time outs. (he has broken 2 doors) But to get him into time out is physically painful for me. Try dragged 100 lb fighting child somewhere.  The child phy that I see (to work on parenting techniques) wants me to bend his fingers inward but then all he does is sit on the floor and cry and no matter how hard I squeeze he wont move.  He completely drains me of energy and I am scared to make any friends or go anywhere because of him.  He is gifted so it is really hard to outsmart him. (taking away someting he likes doesn't work)  He is the perfect well mannered child at school and the teachers never believe me when I explain the problems.  Also he refuses to change his clothes, brush his teeth ect.  According to my parenting classes he is responsible for that.  If I am suppling him with clean clothes. Reminding him to change. Can I still get in trouble for child neglect?


This discussion is related to 6 year delightful at school but terror at home-swears, threatens � won't listen.

[althepal39]

He sounds like he has no respect for you.  And dragging him into time out and bending his fingers back is not going to win you respect.  (what kind of psychologist tells you to bend a child fingers??)   Apparently time out is not going to work.  I would take something away (TV, Video games, whatever is near and dear to him) and don't back down.  You have to be tough and serious and if he comes at you in a violent way - tell him you are going to call Child Protective Services and they are going to take him away!  (That might make him think!)  I do agree with the previous poster that he may be frustrated about something and is taking his stress out on you - but you have to get the respect back before you can help him.  Good luck!  

[LRM1021]

You raise an interesting question. You know, I would make an anonymous call to Social Services to ask the question-- I would bet the answer would be different based on local jurisdiction.  
It must be very frustrating to have his behavior directed at you. My suspicion is that there is something in his life that is bothering him, and he takes all his frustration out on you because you are safe. He is testing you -- I don't know why people/ children test, but I know that they do.

Has the counselor suggested anything that could be causing his elevated frustration level?