New to the whole recovery thing...

So, at one point in my life and Lupus journey...I was put on pain med after pain med.  The wheel ended on hydrocodone 10/500 4 times a day....for 3 plus years.  I have lupus and though my doctor would continue my prescription, I really am trying to stop taking them.  I can't deal with the not being able to function for an hour in the morning until they kick in, making us late to everything.  I feel like a burden on my family and I just want to feel *something* again.  I don't have health insurance and my husband has just found employment after a year and a half of hunting and I just want things to go better for us this time.  As of today, I have tapered down to half my dose and tomorrow I am going to try not to take any at all.  I have ativan and flexaril, and their addictive qualities aren't much of an issue right now as I hate how they make me feel....I have a few bottles of them in the cabinet I never used.  When I was young, I had an addiction to cocaine.  One day I just stopped.  Maybe time fades all things, because I do not remember it being like this.  Anything any of you could offer would really help a lot, homepoathic remedies especially....I'm an intelligent individual, I don't know how I let this happen.  So far I feel very hung over and weepy and it's only been 12 hours.  How long is the hell?  Someone just say it will get better.  Please.

[RequiemLost]

I'm at the big 24 hours.  Holy hell, what a ride.  Started my thomas' recipe concoction and it seems to be easing things a bit.