how can i get the help thats right

ok i am a young girl who cant reamly take it any more i just want somone to no my story with out knowing me...
when i was a very young child i dont remember how old or many of the inncedencts but my  cousin would sexualli abuse me i also think he also did so when i was sleeping when someone who is my grandmother found out she beat me and left me by myself so i was left very confused and hurt and thought it was my fault and it was soposed to happen  . then as i grew older my mother and grandmother physicl abused me when i begain to get to the age when i knew what they were doing wasnt right they stoped the phsyical violence and begain the emotional this lead me to very low self esteem which interfared with my love like and sexual habits i am a senior in high school and i have alot of trouble going through my everyday life becuase of this from anger problemes to the point i black out to trust issus that leaves me alone and singgeled out although that i have been able to put up a front at school and have a good amount of friends i am still left feeling alone and not wanting to go home as my senior is going on my mother dont reali do the abuse as much becuse i isolate myself when i get home but its been easier  but as i get old the flash backs are comming more and i feel that i am getting PDST. basicli i just want to know what i can do by myself to help myself ever sence my grandmother found out what happened when i was a child i feel like noone will belive me noone eles in my family knows about this they just think im ani social and shy.... well i just need help because i can feel destruction coming on toword me or somone eles i know i can control it . i would very much apreciate if you do not try to comntact me just pleasse send a messege back saying what i can do.. thank you for reading my story and listioning .... - alonestranger

[narla]

You need to see a counsellor even if It's a school counsellor,your can't deal with this on your own,I was also sexually abused and waited too long to get the help I needed.
So you need to sort your feelings out now,Please don't wait any longer as it will only get harder to deal with.Good Luck and be brave,you can do it.