Aa
12 days, no opiates, still scared
Hi, I'm new here and I decided that after 3 years on extremely high doses of opiates...fentanyl, oxy, methadone and whatever else my pain management doctor wanted to try me on because of a car accident that left me with 3 major spine surgeries and now addicted to pain meds, I called it quits on June 26th. C/T! What a nightmare this has been, the w/d were absolutely the worst. I decided to go this alone as I did check myself into a drug assisted detox, only to find myself in a hospital, 5 1/2 hours away from home, due to the facility I chose, getting screamed at in the ER by a doctor. I was taken by ambulance from the detox facility as I was non-responsive. I was very candid in telling the place way before hand what I had been taking. This was now around 3:30 am when I saw their nurse and was given a small plastic cupful of pills that I took without asking, "what are these?" Long story short, I was left at the hospital, by myself, the detox place told my family I was, "under the weather" and this was normal. Well, it wasn't normal. I almost died. From that moment on, if God spared my life, I would never touch another pain pill again. I haven't. It was so hard to do it alone. I have been doing great-the first 6 days were awful. I have been more active, as hard as that is to do, but today has been the hardest day thus far. Emotionally and mentally, I feel like I'm drowning. I have no support! I'm scared and really need feedback!
Thank you so much in advance!
Thank you so much in advance!
Clonidine is great during the first of the withdrawals because it does lower the blood pressure which reduces anxiety and can sometimes help you sleep. However if you are 12 days clean I am not sure its needed now (you could check you BP to see if its still spiked). I think the best thing you can do is exercise, especially something like yoga that helps relax you as well. It will give you brain a rush of dopamine which it is missing right now and making you miserable in return. Lots of vitamin B12 and even some caffeine in the morning helps with mood. Just try to keep yourself busy so the day goes by faster. Good work on 12 days, you are at the tail end of the physical stuff. Are you yawning and violently sneezing a lot? Sneezing comes towards the tail end of the physical withdrawals.
Jen:
Clonidine is often prescribed when someone is getting off opiates, because of blood pressure spikes. You should call your doctor and tell them about the extreme fatigue; s/he may want to adjust your dosage.
Hang in there girl; you're doing great.
Clonidine is often prescribed when someone is getting off opiates, because of blood pressure spikes. You should call your doctor and tell them about the extreme fatigue; s/he may want to adjust your dosage.
Hang in there girl; you're doing great.
Hi Jerry-I just wanted to get on here and tell you that after seeing my doctor yesterday, getting a script filled for Clonidine, I haven't been able to do anything but sleep. I can barely keep my eyes open. I didn't get to go to that place last night because I couldn't stay awake. I took one last night and one this morning 2/day. It helps with the anxiety, but I do enjoy being awake better. I feel extremely fatigued and because I already have low blood pressure, I had to promise I wouldn't drive. I feel like it was a huge mistake to ask my doctor about this. I can't take anymore! I don't like being a zombie! Do you know how long this takes to get out of my system???
Right on seems like today was a lucky day keep up the attitude and you will do fine.
Thanks so much for your continued support! Regarding my husband-I can tell you that he has had a hard life with his dad. He is a jerk and all he knows is how to dictate and he's "always right!" Lol...not! It was only recently I married him, not because I wanted to, but our daughter begged me to marry her daddy. I knew in my heart it was the wrong thing to do, but did it anyway. I am now on my way to getting back to where I was before my accident. Very headstrong, hard working and independent. He likes the fact that I have been dependent on him the last 3 years.
Enough about that...I just came back from my PCP and he told me that I have done the impossible! Many times he has seen me and told me that an average person that took the amount of pain meds I was in would be dead. He has also told me that he had never met anyone or had a patient that was on as much as I was. I made his day! He also put me on a blood pressure medicine, can't remember the name and immediately sent out a referral to a place nearby that does 24 hour IOP therapy. I will be headed there later. He said eventually I will need meetings, but I need this to start with!!! I'm super excited! I told him about this forum and how great the support is here..(he sees my husband also) he knows that he's unsupportive. So, good news today and I really love you guys for all your help!!!
-feeling happy
Xoxo-Jen
Enough about that...I just came back from my PCP and he told me that I have done the impossible! Many times he has seen me and told me that an average person that took the amount of pain meds I was in would be dead. He has also told me that he had never met anyone or had a patient that was on as much as I was. I made his day! He also put me on a blood pressure medicine, can't remember the name and immediately sent out a referral to a place nearby that does 24 hour IOP therapy. I will be headed there later. He said eventually I will need meetings, but I need this to start with!!! I'm super excited! I told him about this forum and how great the support is here..(he sees my husband also) he knows that he's unsupportive. So, good news today and I really love you guys for all your help!!!
-feeling happy
Xoxo-Jen
Jen, you are one strong person. I know it's hard to leave a long-term
relationship, but this guy seems to be such a jerk, I don't know how you cope.
I have only recently started to participate in this forum and have benefitted
in just a month or so. These are good and well informed people, so stay w/it
and hopefully it will all work out. Take full advantage, because there aren't
many out there that can offer the same guidance w/o having some ult. mot-ive, Dolph,good luck to ya!
relationship, but this guy seems to be such a jerk, I don't know how you cope.
I have only recently started to participate in this forum and have benefitted
in just a month or so. These are good and well informed people, so stay w/it
and hopefully it will all work out. Take full advantage, because there aren't
many out there that can offer the same guidance w/o having some ult. mot-ive, Dolph,good luck to ya!
I used coke for a LONG time and could put it down for days and day or weeks then start right up again but the pills have me HOOKED they were so hard to quit Im around a 100 days clean and maybe you husband has pain deep inside about his addiction that's been caged up and possibly someone told him its in his head?? so all those thing come rushing to the surface when you bring it up .. just my thoughts he most likely only used little or no pain meds because he knew what could happen if he started the reason I say that is I was clean for over two years and got in a motorcycle accident and was in so much pain but pleaded in tears with the ER staff NOT to give me any pain meds but my wife begged me and the staff finally shot me up and sent me home with a pile of RXs and BANG I was off and running again.
If this site is your vent than hang out here and we will listen with open ears and no judgment best of luck you off to a great start just kinda bumpy in the beginning ..
If this site is your vent than hang out here and we will listen with open ears and no judgment best of luck you off to a great start just kinda bumpy in the beginning ..
Okay, so I changed my doctor appointment to 3:00 today. I love this support! This is the best I've felt. Honey, you have touched my heart in a way that is unexplainable. As I would sit here, alone, feeling like the walls were closing in on me, now I feel like I am not alone. This is a great form of therapy for me.
Regarding my husband, he is 18 years older than me and our way of thinking is so different. He used to do hard core drugs and he throws it in my face that he could do it for days and put it down and never touch it again. In the 13 years we've been together, I've never seen him do any type of drug. He had open heart surgery and barely took any pain medicine. He says he has seen what it does to people, yet tells me it's all in my head! What really makes me upset is when I try and talk to him and tell him how I'm feeling, he says, "I understand what you're going through!" No, he doesn't. He will tell me I see what it does to you. NOT THE SAME!
Sorry to ramble, this just really helps! Love you guys! Much thanks!
Regarding my husband, he is 18 years older than me and our way of thinking is so different. He used to do hard core drugs and he throws it in my face that he could do it for days and put it down and never touch it again. In the 13 years we've been together, I've never seen him do any type of drug. He had open heart surgery and barely took any pain medicine. He says he has seen what it does to people, yet tells me it's all in my head! What really makes me upset is when I try and talk to him and tell him how I'm feeling, he says, "I understand what you're going through!" No, he doesn't. He will tell me I see what it does to you. NOT THE SAME!
Sorry to ramble, this just really helps! Love you guys! Much thanks!
GREAT JOB!!!!!!!! those in the world that are not addicts all belive its in your head WOW thanks for the compassion!! well 12 days is like 12 months to some one trying to get clean and going CT that's even harder but as you know first hand has its own complications. the good news is your on your way and feeling crappy on day 12 is far from what you felt like on day 5 right ?? so hang out with us and in time you will feel better day by day and as far as the old man he has to deal with the current situation he needs to know that you are first in this war and the rest just need to fall in where they fit for now so just knowing things WILL be better. I'm not a big aftercare person but many people here really think it works so give it a try but for now I have to say your doing great and just think come this weekend it will be two weeks clean PILL FREE !!
Thee is a saying in the rooms of 12 step meetings: "You have to give it away to keep it". That is why I share my experience, strength and hope. I have been a member on this site coming up on 8 years. I try and get here a few times a week. I pray that I reach someone and help someone. Members come and go on this site as quick as a blink of an eye.I may never know if something I said helped them...
Let us know how the meeting went sweetie.
Let us know how the meeting went sweetie.
I can't thank you enough! The two of you are so welcoming and have awesome advice! This is such a tremendous help! I do live in a small town, and it was alarming at first to think, "what if I'm recognized?" Then I think, no one wants to be addicted to drugs, we are here to get help. I was wondering if you could get phone numbers, so thank you for that piece of advice. I have to say it TERRIFIES ME that someone could be selling pills outside a meeting. I do have to say, I am a person that trusts EVERYONE and I think that everyone has good intentions. Very naive. Something else I'm working on. Well, I can't wait until I tell you guys how the meeting went.
You guys are angels and I can't tell you enough how much it means to me that you take the time out to help people!
Xoxo-Jlyn
You guys are angels and I can't tell you enough how much it means to me that you take the time out to help people!
Xoxo-Jlyn
Yes honey..it is definitely normal. You are right where you are supposed to be and everything that you are feeling is "normal"..whatever that is..lol
So you live in a small town hun? And you are afraid someone will recognize you. I can't count how many times I have heard that. So think about this: You are at a meeting and someone who is attending the meeting also recognizes you. They are just as shocked, scared and worried that someone will recognize them. Funny how that works--you are both addicts looking for support. Maybe you can help each other.
If you have never been to a meetings, a couple of things: Sit and listen. Introduce yourself and maybe don't talk the first time. Check out the meeting and see if you are comfortable there. You will know. Ask for phone numbers from the women. USE the phone numbers to just talk or use them if you want to take a pill. That is how the support works. You may see people there who are still using. It is not a requirement that you be clean to attend a meeting. The only requirement is a desire to stop using. You may even see someone trying to sell pills outside the meeting. that is horrible but it does happen. Walk the other way. It has nothing to do with the meeting or the people. I hope you feel comfortable there. If not, try another meeting until you find that one that best suits you and that will be your home group.
Again, keep talking. Someone is always here to help you and support you. Let us know how you are getting along and how the meeting went!!!
So you live in a small town hun? And you are afraid someone will recognize you. I can't count how many times I have heard that. So think about this: You are at a meeting and someone who is attending the meeting also recognizes you. They are just as shocked, scared and worried that someone will recognize them. Funny how that works--you are both addicts looking for support. Maybe you can help each other.
If you have never been to a meetings, a couple of things: Sit and listen. Introduce yourself and maybe don't talk the first time. Check out the meeting and see if you are comfortable there. You will know. Ask for phone numbers from the women. USE the phone numbers to just talk or use them if you want to take a pill. That is how the support works. You may see people there who are still using. It is not a requirement that you be clean to attend a meeting. The only requirement is a desire to stop using. You may even see someone trying to sell pills outside the meeting. that is horrible but it does happen. Walk the other way. It has nothing to do with the meeting or the people. I hope you feel comfortable there. If not, try another meeting until you find that one that best suits you and that will be your home group.
Again, keep talking. Someone is always here to help you and support you. Let us know how you are getting along and how the meeting went!!!
Absolutely! It it's normal..it is even to be expected....2 good days..one bad,.....a good week...3 days bad...don't be alarmed...whatever you are feeling at any given moment....can change on a dime...the good news...it eventch evens out and will turn so your bad days or moments will be less and less.
Whatever your addict brain can pull outta it's bag o trix...be ready....it isn't real.
Man you have had some physical issues though haven't you!?
You a machine man!...look if you can go through ALL of that ....you can do anything sweetheart!...kick @ss and take numbers.....
Meaning...push through but be aware of opportunities when they arise.
You got this.
Whatever your addict brain can pull outta it's bag o trix...be ready....it isn't real.
Man you have had some physical issues though haven't you!?
You a machine man!...look if you can go through ALL of that ....you can do anything sweetheart!...kick @ss and take numbers.....
Meaning...push through but be aware of opportunities when they arise.
You got this.
Wow! I am so excited!!! Thank you guys so much for taking the time to write to me. I haven't tried acupuncture yet, although I have heard really great things about it! I did do PT, injections, TPI, occipital nerve blocks, etc. for some reason, they put me down worse than when I started. It's kind of funny you say, I live in a small town and someone may recognize me, because that is how I felt 2 weeks ago...now I am so proud of myself and told my husband this morning that I wanted to go to a meeting tonight. (He will be late coming home from work because I want to do something to help myself) this is how he operates. I I will do whatever I have to...I am going.
I do agree with the fact I can't ***** my true pain level yet. I do want to say, the first surgeon botched my neck, so I had a second and I now don't have anything in there but metal. I had several laminectomies(?) with fusions. Recently my lower back..fusion. Because of the first botched surgery I swallow as if I'm 70, I'm 35.
I have never wanted anything more than I want this. I felt like everything was getting better each day, then yesterday I had a meltdown and was alone, all I could do was think about taking pain medicine. Is it normal to have a few good days and then a really bad day??? Mentally?
Anyway, thanks for listening and sending love to you guys! Super happy I'm here!
I do agree with the fact I can't ***** my true pain level yet. I do want to say, the first surgeon botched my neck, so I had a second and I now don't have anything in there but metal. I had several laminectomies(?) with fusions. Recently my lower back..fusion. Because of the first botched surgery I swallow as if I'm 70, I'm 35.
I have never wanted anything more than I want this. I felt like everything was getting better each day, then yesterday I had a meltdown and was alone, all I could do was think about taking pain medicine. Is it normal to have a few good days and then a really bad day??? Mentally?
Anyway, thanks for listening and sending love to you guys! Super happy I'm here!
Hey sista....grats on your journey....sending support your way....I am one who got/has no support from hub as well. Aaaah screwem! I remember when I hit my 21 day mark...I was so proud of myself...I looked at hub and said..hey, I've got 3 weeks today .....he looked at me and belched.....I'll never forget it.......and that is the vein I've had to live in whilst on my own path.
Truth is ....I think I started takin pills to "deal" with my hub etc.....so letting him dirty the waters of my "cleanse".....just keeps me in that bad place....so I don't depend on support from him. ....I've got my MH angels here....if it weren't for this forum.....I don't think I'd be alive.
Stick around keep posting and reaching out..it will get easier..
Great advise posted above.
Hold on....hugs
Truth is ....I think I started takin pills to "deal" with my hub etc.....so letting him dirty the waters of my "cleanse".....just keeps me in that bad place....so I don't depend on support from him. ....I've got my MH angels here....if it weren't for this forum.....I don't think I'd be alive.
Stick around keep posting and reaching out..it will get easier..
Great advise posted above.
Hold on....hugs
Hi & Welcome to the Community,
It sounds like you really had a rough go at it for a while. I pray that it scared you enough to stay away from opiates. It gets harder every time you use and detox so remember that if you decide to pick up a pill again.
The relapse rate is very high for people with legitimate pain who stop using either cold turkey or tapering. The biggest reason is that they don't have a plan in place. Chronic pain patients should always have a plan for pain management other than narcotic medication. I always tell pain people who are looking to stop their medication to set themselves up for success. Have a plan. A lot of times people will find that the pain is no longer there once they get through the detox or they find the pain is worse. What you are experiencing right now could be re-bound pain. It is hard to tell and 12 days (congratulations on that..it is awesome!!!) is not long enough to do a proper assessment of your pain level.
Acupuncture is fantastic! Have you done it before? I had success with it way back in the 80's and I would be willing to give it a try now but I can't find an acupuncture Specialist anywhere around here. Have you tried physical therapy? And, have you tried steroid injections? I go for the injections and it has really helped me. I have 5 herniated disks, sciatica, arthritis and DDD so I feel your pain. I hope that you get relief. No one should have to live with pain like that.
Have you considered some form of aftercare? I ask because I think it would be helpful to be around people just like you who are going through what you are right now and those who have already gone through it and are in recovery for some time. It is so helpful to go to meetings and be able to talk freely and it is inspiring. Please don't tell me that you live in a small town and you are afraid that someone will recognize you. I can't tell you how many times a day I hear that. I hope you consider it and if you do, please ask for help with it.
This is a great place for support and there are a lot of good folks here to support you and make suggestions to you. I hope you stay around and talk with us. It helps. I also hope that you find relief soon.
It sounds like you really had a rough go at it for a while. I pray that it scared you enough to stay away from opiates. It gets harder every time you use and detox so remember that if you decide to pick up a pill again.
The relapse rate is very high for people with legitimate pain who stop using either cold turkey or tapering. The biggest reason is that they don't have a plan in place. Chronic pain patients should always have a plan for pain management other than narcotic medication. I always tell pain people who are looking to stop their medication to set themselves up for success. Have a plan. A lot of times people will find that the pain is no longer there once they get through the detox or they find the pain is worse. What you are experiencing right now could be re-bound pain. It is hard to tell and 12 days (congratulations on that..it is awesome!!!) is not long enough to do a proper assessment of your pain level.
Acupuncture is fantastic! Have you done it before? I had success with it way back in the 80's and I would be willing to give it a try now but I can't find an acupuncture Specialist anywhere around here. Have you tried physical therapy? And, have you tried steroid injections? I go for the injections and it has really helped me. I have 5 herniated disks, sciatica, arthritis and DDD so I feel your pain. I hope that you get relief. No one should have to live with pain like that.
Have you considered some form of aftercare? I ask because I think it would be helpful to be around people just like you who are going through what you are right now and those who have already gone through it and are in recovery for some time. It is so helpful to go to meetings and be able to talk freely and it is inspiring. Please don't tell me that you live in a small town and you are afraid that someone will recognize you. I can't tell you how many times a day I hear that. I hope you consider it and if you do, please ask for help with it.
This is a great place for support and there are a lot of good folks here to support you and make suggestions to you. I hope you stay around and talk with us. It helps. I also hope that you find relief soon.
Thank you OxyTired for your information. I do have an appointment with my doc on Monday. Today @ 9pm will be 13 days for me! With the lack of support I have from my husband, I am amazed I have been able to do this. I have been staying at home, walking as much as I can. I did schedule a acupuncture appointment for Saturday. This chronic pain I'm in is terrible, although nothing like what I went through the first 5 days of w/d.
Thank you for responding. I have my husband and 10 year old daughter. My husband will tell me to, "get over it" & "it's all in your head!" I have no other family. Today is my 13th day without any meds, I am scared. Yesterday seemed to be EXTREMELY hard! I am so grateful to have found this site! I feel like I now have support from here!
Are you alone? How are you feeling?
Try to stay in touch with us, we are here for you.
Try to stay in touch with us, we are here for you.
Jen,
Saw your post, wow six days! Scarey with as many pills you were on. Don't be reluctant to see your family doctor if you have trouble with your detox.
Lots of friendly supportive people here!
Again, it is not a sign of weakness to ask for medical help. There are knowledeable doctors who can help you keep your sobriety without putting yourself at risk.
Saw your post, wow six days! Scarey with as many pills you were on. Don't be reluctant to see your family doctor if you have trouble with your detox.
Lots of friendly supportive people here!
Again, it is not a sign of weakness to ask for medical help. There are knowledeable doctors who can help you keep your sobriety without putting yourself at risk.
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