Ok I’ve got 29 days off oxys that means 30 days tomorrow.
I didn’t sleep well last night. I’m starting to feel better and doing several things in one day, juggling, busy, coming and going, making appts, etc.
Towards the end of my oxy use, I maybe could do 2 things in one day and had to lie down, so it’s pretty kewl, I am getting my life back.
I did not sleep well last night, and that makes me want to use. I feel so exhausted and of course I wish I could pop a 20 mg for the boost I need to get things done. My house use to be very clean, since I’ve stopped oxys, I have not been motivated to clean….. I hate that. Anyway that’s what’s going thru my head right now, not so much the craving, but wanting energy and remembering the pick me up i could get from a pill.
I hopeful and pretty certain that I wont use today because I want 30 days sober clean off oxys. But it’s frightening how quickly a person can start thinking that way.
I know it can be easy for us to pop just another pill, but you have to stay strong and remind yourself of why you got clean in the first place. You chose to TAKE YOUR LIFE BACK! One day you will wake up....and all the oxycontin use and withdrawals will have been a dream, a distant memory.
I didn't abuse oxycontin for that long (about 1.5 months) but I started to get real depressed and had anxiety all the time when my high wore off. I didn't like chasing pills, lying to people, finding no thrill in anything anymore. These are the reasons why YOU gave up Oxycontin, right?
Well, I quit Oxy cold turkey, and after 2 weeks I was LOVING LIFE. Everything was so clear, I had my energy back etc. Then I thought, "Why not just pop one pill?".....
17 days later, I was up to an even higher dose DAILY than I was before. I ended up feeling guilty, more depressed, more anxious, and sadder.
Please stay strong and chase that light at the end of the tunnel. I believe in you. You've made it this far. You do NOT want to relapse, it will only be worse. I've been to the "Other Side" where I had gotten completely clean physically and mentally.... and it was great. I wish I was back there right now, and soon, you will be there. Good luck!
Congrats on a month clean tomorrow, that is great! You are so right about how quickly we can start to think that way and the mind changes. Everytime I have let my guard down and stopped getting support, I fall back into old patterns, so we need to realize that using once don't happen for addicts and I have learned that over and over.
Just think, you will keep feeling better with more clean time, it took me a month to break out of the fog and 3 months to reverse the brain damage I had done, lol. It is a process, but so worth it. The energy does seem like that last thing to come for most, but it will again. You have done great so stay strong and keep getting support. Congrats:)
Congrats!! I knew you could do it. Stay positive. This fight will take place every day. I am a true believer (now) that the mental battle of staying clean is far worse than the physical battle of getting clean. Stay strong. So proud of you!
Thanks you everyone, I feel great about having 1 month. I never thought I could do it.
I was reading an old post here recently, and someone compared that coming of oxys is similar to recovering from a stroke. I’ve never had a stroke, but i imagine, this is what it would feel like, having to re-train the brain to think, and just that it’s a slow process to get back to normal.
Also, I totally agee with gizzy, that it takes 30 days for the fog to lift and at least 3 months to reverse the brain damage.
It is hard work, and when the cravings come, it’s just a drag because there is nothing you can do but wait it out. Today i went outside at work, walked around for 15 minutes and make a couple phone calls while craving, diversions like that are helpful.
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