Aa
Clean but mean....
My fiance has been clean off vics now for 3 weeks. I am so proud of him! Unfortunately he is extremly mean to me. Constantly annoyed with me. I feel like he hates me. We are seperated right now because the whole process was just to much. I am trying to be there for him despite his attitude towards me. It is really difficult though. He tends to blame a lot of this on me. Telling me he did drugs b/c of our relationship, when really, the drugs had been there long before me. I don't know. I guess I don't understand. Is it normal to blame others? Is it normal to be mean? I was there for him the best I knew how while still being there for our son. I feel like I have fought so hard to help him and now he has turned on me. I have participated in some usage with him in the past, but always knew when I needed to stop. It never affected our finances or our family like this. Am I wrong to get frustrated with him when I have done things too? I just knew he couldn't do it on his own.
Well xyborx...SWEETIE! It's sounds like to me that you have NO ONE in your life to help you with your problems. That's not my problem and you have NO right to take that out on me! Didn't your mother ever tell you if you don't have anything nice to say, don't say anything at all!
Hmmm pathetic ehh? Right...seems pretty pathetic to take out you frustrations on a COMPLETE STRANGER!
Get a life??? Maybe you should practice what you preach hunny!
Hmmm pathetic ehh? Right...seems pretty pathetic to take out you frustrations on a COMPLETE STRANGER!
Get a life??? Maybe you should practice what you preach hunny!
You really don't seem to have any 'support' to offer anyone today. This is the second post you've made in the past few hours that was just plain mean. Whatever is bothering you, why not take it elsewhere and stop trying to sabotage people reaching out for help?
I too feel like i'm going crazy at times. He has lied on a regular basis. He's even told me I need to go to the doctor. I told him if it would help our relationship that I would. He never said anything about it again after that. His doc thinks he needs antidepressants but NO WAY...He won't take those! Well he tried for a two weeks but stopped. I'm just taking it day by day. Trying not to take things personally. It's hard though. I love him and hate seeing him like this.
I'm glad that you guys are happy and I hope to someday be there again. Thanks for your words. I appreciate it. I really thinks it's great when people can use their experiences, as horrible as they may be, to help others in need.
Thanks...
I'm glad that you guys are happy and I hope to someday be there again. Thanks for your words. I appreciate it. I really thinks it's great when people can use their experiences, as horrible as they may be, to help others in need.
Thanks...
My wife and I are together and happier than ever. While using I was a compulsive liar. She even thought she was going crazy because I lied to her so convincingly. Fortunately, I am no longer and active addict, but I do take Suboxone.
At first, my wife was not big on the idea of me taking another opiate, but we have both found out how different it is and she is glad that I am taking it today.
I started the Sub treatment in May 07, so almost 7 months now I have been away from the "game".
On one occasion I tried morphine (400mgs) while on the Suboxone and received absolutely ZERO effect from the morphine since the sub binds tighter on the receptors in the brain and does not allow other opiates to attatch and thus induce euphoria.
I hope this helps and if you have more questions, fire away and I will answer them as best as possible.
At first, my wife was not big on the idea of me taking another opiate, but we have both found out how different it is and she is glad that I am taking it today.
I started the Sub treatment in May 07, so almost 7 months now I have been away from the "game".
On one occasion I tried morphine (400mgs) while on the Suboxone and received absolutely ZERO effect from the morphine since the sub binds tighter on the receptors in the brain and does not allow other opiates to attatch and thus induce euphoria.
I hope this helps and if you have more questions, fire away and I will answer them as best as possible.
It seems fairly typical. The process seems to warp the mind. i know it's a constant struggle for me to remind myself it's just the withdrawals talking, and not my true feelings. Something about withdrawals seems to bring a vicious edge out in people. It's probably a purely chemical response, or rather, a lack of. People in this condition lack the natural "Happy juices" that kick in from experiencing joy in life. As a result, the thoughts tend to wander down dark and depressing corridors of the mind.
I hope if you still want it to work out, that it will. But it may be good to distance yourself from each other for a bit for the sake of the relationship. words can't be taken back, regardless of the reason behind them.
I hope if you still want it to work out, that it will. But it may be good to distance yourself from each other for a bit for the sake of the relationship. words can't be taken back, regardless of the reason behind them.
If you don't mind me asking. Are you and your wife together now? How long have you been clean? He is also staying at parents, well grandparents house. He can't seem to handle much of anything right now. He tells me he is happy, happier than he has ever been. I know that's a lie. I know him to well.
When I got out of rehab, I wanted to leave my wife or vice versa. She had been there for me all the way through. I was depressed and unhappy and almost wished I was still on the drugs. I stayed with my parents for a couple months until I started to collect myself mentally.
It sounds like what your man is going through. As addicts, we become accustomed to a way of life and when that is gone it is very confusing. Time apart would be my suggestion and try not to expect things over night. His addiction took some time and so will his recovery.
It sounds like what your man is going through. As addicts, we become accustomed to a way of life and when that is gone it is very confusing. Time apart would be my suggestion and try not to expect things over night. His addiction took some time and so will his recovery.
He had been on vics for about 8mos this time. This was the worst time! He was taking anywhere from 12-18 1000mg a day, and towards the end was heavily drinking. I made an appointment for him to see a phychiatrist. He gave him about 4 different kinds of meds to take for a week. He slept most of the time. When he was awake he was completely out of it. Saying weird things, being mean. He got sick a couple of times.Vomitting, diarreah.
He has been clean for about three weeks, maybe more. After the detox he had trouble sleeping, really bad anxiety. His doc perscribed Leaxpro and seroquel. He takes the seroquel for sleep but won't take the anidepressants. He seems very unhappy, irritable, short tempered. I think his body is really messed up. We have been together for four years. Have a beautiful 2yr old boy, dogs, a house, we're engaged. Now he wants nothing to do with me. It's my fault. He's mean because I push him to be, he took the drugs cuz our relationship was so bad... and so on. It's been really hard on our family but I don't think he gets that. I keep telling myself that things will get better, but I sometimes feel like it never will. I try to encourage him to work out and eat healthier to speed up the process but he tells me to quit telling him what to do. I think he's in complete denial.
You have a hard road ahead of you. Just try to recognize these symptoms, maybe it will help you deal with them better. I would encourage you to do your research first. There a lot of people here that can be your support group . I would also encourage telling your girlfriend what's going on so she can be there for you. You are going to need people to help you. It's a hard process, but it needs to be done! If your girlfriend wants to contact me for support, i would be happy to be there for her. As for you, there are so many people here that are going through what you will be going through.
Good luck!
He has been clean for about three weeks, maybe more. After the detox he had trouble sleeping, really bad anxiety. His doc perscribed Leaxpro and seroquel. He takes the seroquel for sleep but won't take the anidepressants. He seems very unhappy, irritable, short tempered. I think his body is really messed up. We have been together for four years. Have a beautiful 2yr old boy, dogs, a house, we're engaged. Now he wants nothing to do with me. It's my fault. He's mean because I push him to be, he took the drugs cuz our relationship was so bad... and so on. It's been really hard on our family but I don't think he gets that. I keep telling myself that things will get better, but I sometimes feel like it never will. I try to encourage him to work out and eat healthier to speed up the process but he tells me to quit telling him what to do. I think he's in complete denial.
You have a hard road ahead of you. Just try to recognize these symptoms, maybe it will help you deal with them better. I would encourage you to do your research first. There a lot of people here that can be your support group . I would also encourage telling your girlfriend what's going on so she can be there for you. You are going to need people to help you. It's a hard process, but it needs to be done! If your girlfriend wants to contact me for support, i would be happy to be there for her. As for you, there are so many people here that are going through what you will be going through.
Good luck!
It's hard when reletionships mix with detox. Mine didn't last, but that's ok, because he wasn't ready to quit using. Anger is just a feeling, that makes us say and do things we don't mean. I've been clean for 37 days from all mind-altering substances and from vicoding for about 2 months. I have a sincere desire to get clean, and to fix the underlying reasons for my use. My clarity came because I chose to let God work in my life. Maybe when the drug-induced haze clears from his mind, he will begin to think more clearly. Good luck to you
Your fiance sounds like a typical egocentric male caught up in a love-hate relationship. It takes a very special man to be not normal and follow the pack. You sound wise enough to lead him out of his emotional distress, although one day he will have to stand alone. Guide him as you may, somethings need to learn't the hard way. Frustrating as it is...
I am starting day 3 and I feel sorry for the folks that have to see me today.....or hear me......grrrrr
LOL
Hang in there hun, he is struggling and suffering, it should get better in time...
LOL
Hang in there hun, he is struggling and suffering, it should get better in time...
I have outbursts of anger too. Also would love to blame others for my own shortcomings. But the good news is. The addict or alcoholic going through withdrawal has emotions like a graph. We go to extreams way high and way low in our withdrawal getting clean process. Slowly the peaks on the graph get lower and closer to midline. We celebrate 30 60 90 days and then a year. The first 90 days(at least is an emotional time. I know I've said ALOT of things to my husband and others that I didn't mean. This withdrawal is one of the hardest things I've ever done. But the most valuable thing too!
Keep coming we will support you in anyway we can.
Keep coming we will support you in anyway we can.
Don't really have any good answers to your problem just wanted to say. There is no exscuse for treating people poorly, but addicts seem to be notorius for this behavior. Your fiance is probably struggling everyday to stay clean. His addiction is looking for exscuses to use. I am an addict myself and also wanted to blame others for my addiction.(My elderly mother was driving me crazy, take a pill). This is addiction talking. It might be a good thing you moved out at this time, your fiance needs to stay focused on staying clean, and his addiction will try to use you, to pull him down. Sorry I don't have any real helpful advise. I just wanted to say that I also was very unkind to people that got in the way of my addiction. I wish you and your fiance much strength. Mary
Fiance,
I just finished with my first posting and I could see already that it's helping...just getting it out there and reading other people's stories. I'd like to point out that I'm in the same situation right now, unfortunatley however, I'm in your boyfriend's shoes. I've been taking between 5-10 pills of vic a day for the last 2 months or so, perhaps not as serious of a problem as others but to me it's terrifying. I was off of it for 3 days and it was hell...I was SO mean to my girlfriend who by the way has no idea about my problem. I've been having mood swings for a while now and blame everything on her. When I'm clear headed I feel terrible. I almost want her to leave me, she doesn't deserve it. I'm not physically abusive but mentally I think I'm really hurting her. I'm sorry for your situation, you should know that you don't deserve it but in my opinion you're probably really helping him. It's unfortunate that it's at your expense but it's likely that you're his motivation and the relationship is his incentive to stop. I want to stop for myself but also for my great girlfriend who if knew what I was going through would probably support me and deal with my mood swings. As far as him telling you that he did drugs because of your relationship...it's simply not true. Specifics aside, it's impossible. How long has he been on the drug? what dosage? What kind of withdrawl symptoms did he have? Are they gone now? Please let me know...I'm about to start stoping and I'm really scared.
I just finished with my first posting and I could see already that it's helping...just getting it out there and reading other people's stories. I'd like to point out that I'm in the same situation right now, unfortunatley however, I'm in your boyfriend's shoes. I've been taking between 5-10 pills of vic a day for the last 2 months or so, perhaps not as serious of a problem as others but to me it's terrifying. I was off of it for 3 days and it was hell...I was SO mean to my girlfriend who by the way has no idea about my problem. I've been having mood swings for a while now and blame everything on her. When I'm clear headed I feel terrible. I almost want her to leave me, she doesn't deserve it. I'm not physically abusive but mentally I think I'm really hurting her. I'm sorry for your situation, you should know that you don't deserve it but in my opinion you're probably really helping him. It's unfortunate that it's at your expense but it's likely that you're his motivation and the relationship is his incentive to stop. I want to stop for myself but also for my great girlfriend who if knew what I was going through would probably support me and deal with my mood swings. As far as him telling you that he did drugs because of your relationship...it's simply not true. Specifics aside, it's impossible. How long has he been on the drug? what dosage? What kind of withdrawl symptoms did he have? Are they gone now? Please let me know...I'm about to start stoping and I'm really scared.
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