Aa
Crack
My husband uses crack. He also drinks frequently and smokes marijuana (daily). He has been using crack for about two years. He has admitted he has a problem. But he soesn't stop using. He's gone for a month and then went back. We seperated over his addiction(s) and he seemed to be getting better after getting much worse. So we are back together now since Spetember and he was using about once a month. Now it's every time he has the money to do it.
He says he wants to quit and that he has no controlover himself. I thought that admitting you have a problemis the first step to recovery? He doesn't do anything to help himself stop. His latest idea as to how he is going to quit is he's not going to work. So if he has no money then he has no access to the drug. Can this approach work, if he is sincere in his desire to stop? Or is it a way of manipulating me so he can continue but also keep his family?
And once they stop, like for years, I understand they may still get the cravings for it. So does it ever end? Can someone really get off of it forever?
He says he wants to quit and that he has no controlover himself. I thought that admitting you have a problemis the first step to recovery? He doesn't do anything to help himself stop. His latest idea as to how he is going to quit is he's not going to work. So if he has no money then he has no access to the drug. Can this approach work, if he is sincere in his desire to stop? Or is it a way of manipulating me so he can continue but also keep his family?
And once they stop, like for years, I understand they may still get the cravings for it. So does it ever end? Can someone really get off of it forever?
I have known my husband for 7 yrs. He is my best friend. One night he just didn't call, didn't come home. Took a long time to find out what he was up to. No admission till he was caught. Two rounds of rehab and two years of separation later, we reconciled around thanksgiving. Wednesday morning he left, took my car to accept a good job. Somehow he gained access to money. No call hasn't come home. Waiting to get the call to identify his body. God help me and my son get through this horrible tragedy. Steven I will miss you so. I love you.
My husband is addicted to crack for the past 15 years and he just escaped rehab and has been missing for 7 weeks. I don't know where he is getting money to use. We have 4 beautiful children together. Your b/f is definately using crack. Sounds like a duplicate of my husband. Believe me if there isn't children involved run.
COMMUNITY LEADER
You need to take care of you and your son right now. That is not a safe environment for either one of you to be in. Have you contacted your local Alanon? They will be able to help you also.
If you could, go to the top of the page and there is a green box that says Post a Question, hit that and copy and paste your post you made. That way others will see it and will respond as this is an old thread......sara
If you could, go to the top of the page and there is a green box that says Post a Question, hit that and copy and paste your post you made. That way others will see it and will respond as this is an old thread......sara
My husband and I have been married a little over three years. We have a little boy. Up till 2 months ago, we have had a fairly decent marriage. Other than my husband’s occasion temper getting out of control, we have gotten along. My husband was a crack user years ago and had been clean for almost two years when I married him. I knew NOTHING about drugs, so I assumed if he was clean that it was for good. Not the case!! My husband started smoking crack two months ago. Our lives have literally fallen apart. He won’t get help. He, like other addicts, SAYS he wants help, but when it’s time for an appt with rehab or a counselor, he won’t go. I have been patient. For the safety of our son, I can’t stay with my husband while he is an addict. He is now smoking the mess in our home and I am SO afraid of our two year old finding a crack rock. I am so lost at this point, as to where to go from here.
I know the core of the disease of addiction is self centeredness! it wasnt untill i lost all and given up hope that i seriously searched out help. you have to help yourself first. Put boundries down and stick to them, I can say one thing since I am an addict is we will suck you dry and spit you out and still blame you for our bad behaviours!!.
I suggest al anon or nar anon whatever you hav access to , you are the one who needs to change the situation, he will never get better for you , your kids, or his job. the way to happiness is doing something yourself, leading by example and looking I mean REALLY looking at how his self, centered, selfish,scary behaviour s affecting you at your family , is it really what you want ,it isnt easy but in one of those programs I suggested you will find ppl who will guide you support you and care for you , that is what we do in 12 step programs I wish you all the best j34
I suggest al anon or nar anon whatever you hav access to , you are the one who needs to change the situation, he will never get better for you , your kids, or his job. the way to happiness is doing something yourself, leading by example and looking I mean REALLY looking at how his self, centered, selfish,scary behaviour s affecting you at your family , is it really what you want ,it isnt easy but in one of those programs I suggested you will find ppl who will guide you support you and care for you , that is what we do in 12 step programs I wish you all the best j34
Learned of my husbands crack use just after he found out my father was dying. he has been in and out of NA using crack 1 day and back for the past 2 yrs. He also was sexaully abused by his oldest brother as a kid. His gay friend who got him into crack had him running around getting it for him and had been having affair with him. I confronted husband about the use of crack may now be used for sexual confusing and acting out sexually with the friend so he needs to come out of denial and stop blaming crack. He is seeking help since his NA sponsor was not equipped to deal with it. he was alone in this. but there is no hope to believe him as he may not be gay or bi. he wants the marriage to last.
i read your comment as to rather he is smoking or sniffing. To answer the question, he is smoking. Trust me I have been there. The staying out the excuses the attitude. It makes U feel like you are walking on egg shells. Losing the jobs, or in my case he quit good jobs. Then he makes it seem like everything is your fault. you try to do everything to please him. His friends you are never going to meet cause he is afaid that they will tell you what is really going on. When looks sad and says nothing is wrong, he is feening for the drug. He get mad when you ask if he uses crack cause he doesnt want you to think of him as less than a man. My husband cooks and cleans like it nobodys business. Yes, he cheats. The excuse I got is that this girl is his "Buddy". Next thing I know I get a 14 page letter she sent when she was locked up. He had a Cadillac, that got repoed and he rode around with these prostitutes and lied and said he never been with any of them. LIES, LIES LIES. Everything you described I can relate to. Craack is no joke. They will do any and everything to get it. Pray real hard. Pray hard. May God bless.
i read your comment as to rather he is smoking or sniffing. To answer the question, he is smoking. Trust me I have been there. The staying out the excuses the attitude. It makes U feel like you are walking on egg shells. Losing the jobs, or in my case he quit good jobs. Then he makes it seem like everything is your fault. you try to do everything to please him. His friends you are never going to meet cause he is afaid that they will tell you what is really going on. When looks sad and says nothing is wrong, he is feening for the drug. He get mad when you ask if he uses crack cause he doesnt want you to think of him as less than a man. My husband cooks and cleans like it nobodys business. Yes, he cheats. The excuse I got is that this girl is his "Buddy". Next thing I know I get a 14 page letter she sent when she was locked up. He had a Cadillac, that got repoed and he rode around with these prostitutes and lied and said he never been with any of them. LIES, LIES LIES. Everything you described I can relate to. Craack is no joke. They will do any and everything to get it. Pray real hard. Pray hard. May God bless.
i read your comment as to rather he is smoking or sniffing. To answer the question, he is smoking. Trust me I have been there. The staying out the excuses the attitude. It makes U feel like you are walking on egg shells. Losing the jobs, or in my case he quit good jobs. Then he makes it seem like everything is your fault. you try to do everything to please him. His friends you are never going to meet cause he is afaid that they will tell you what is really going on. When looks sad and says nothing is wrong, he is feening for the drug. He get mad when you ask if he uses crack cause he doesnt want you to think of him as less than a man. My husband cooks and cleans like it nobodys business. Yes, he cheats. The excuse I got is that this girl is his "Buddy". Next thing I know I get a 14 page letter she sent when she was locked up. He had a Cadillac, that got repoed and he rode around with these prostitutes and lied and said he never been with any of them. LIES, LIES LIES. Everything you described I can relate to. Craack is no joke. They will do any and everything to get it. Pray real hard. Pray hard. May God bless.
i read your comment as to rather he is smoking or sniffing. To answer the question, he is smoking. Trust me I have been there. The staying out the excuses the attitude. It makes U feel like you are walking on egg shells. Losing the jobs, or in my case he quit good jobs. Then he makes it seem like everything is your fault. you try to do everything to please him. His friends you are never going to meet cause he is afaid that they will tell you what is really going on. When looks sad and says nothing is wrong, he is feening for the drug. He get mad when you ask if he uses crack cause he doesnt want you to think of him as less than a man. My husband cooks and cleans like it nobodys business. Yes, he cheats. The excuse I got is that this girl is his "Buddy". Next thing I know I get a 14 page letter she sent when she was locked up. He had a Cadillac, that got repoed and he rode around with these prostitutes and lied and said he never been with any of them. LIES, LIES LIES. Everything you described I can relate to. Craack is no joke. They will do any and everything to get it. Pray real hard. Pray hard. May God bless.
i read your comment as to rather he is smoking or sniffing. To answer the question, he is smoking. Trust me I have been there. The staying out the excuses the attitude. It makes U feel like you are walking on egg shells. Losing the jobs, or in my case he quit good jobs. Then he makes it seem like everything is your fault. you try to do everything to please him. His friends you are never going to meet cause he is afaid that they will tell you what is really going on. When looks sad and says nothing is wrong, he is feening for the drug. He get mad when you ask if he uses crack cause he doesnt want you to think of him as less than a man. My husband cooks and cleans like it nobodys business. Yes, he cheats. The excuse I got is that this girl is his "Buddy". Next thing I know I get a 14 page letter she sent when she was locked up. He had a Cadillac, that got repoed and he rode around with these prostitutes and lied and said he never been with any of them. LIES, LIES LIES. Everything you described I can relate to. Craack is no joke. They will do any and everything to get it. Pray real hard. Pray hard. May God bless.
i read your comment as to rather he is smoking or sniffing. To answer the question, he is smoking. Trust me I have been there. The staying out the excuses the attitude. It makes U feel like you are walking on egg shells. Losing the jobs, or in my case he quit good jobs. Then he makes it seem like everything is your fault. you try to do everything to please him. His friends you are never going to meet cause he is afaid that they will tell you what is really going on. When looks sad and says nothing is wrong, he is feening for the drug. He get mad when you ask if he uses crack cause he doesnt want you to think of him as less than a man. My husband cooks and cleans like it nobodys business. Yes, he cheats. The excuse I got is that this girl is his "Buddy". Next thing I know I get a 14 page letter she sent when she was locked up. He had a Cadillac, that got repoed and he rode around with these prostitutes and lied and said he never been with any of them. LIES, LIES LIES. Everything you described I can relate to. Craack is no joke. They will do any and everything to get it. Pray real hard. Pray hard. May God bless.
Crash, this is an old post. Copy yours into a new one. You will get more answers that way.
I am married and my husband is a crack head. We have been together 11 years and married for 6 years. He has been smoking crack for over 20 years. We have been around and around with his habit. I had him court ordered for treatment, but he is currently in jail. We have done the jail thing the whole time we have been together. I have been lied to, cheated on, and of course he stole from me. Now he wants me to bail him out after he left me one night to go be with his crack prostitute. I can relate to some of the comments that were posted. You name it I have been there. I just feel so dumb cause I want to give up but something wont let me. The thing that hurt the most is the disrespect that I had to indure. I have done everything known to help this man. Now I need help.
Thanks for reading my post. I thought it may have gotten lost amongst all the other forums. You've lost a lot in your struggle to SAVE someone who doesn't have the ability to put a halt on the spiral that comes with every crack addict. They are not the only ones who say it will never happen to me--we as loved ones have said it too. But take heart and encouragement even if you have to encourage yourself to keep on pressing on.Start small by treating yourself to reading again , getting out of the house and just-hey-take a deep breath. You are alive and you are in your right mind despite everything the enemy(that's truly who is the root here) tried to down you with. Thank God for that because you may not realize it while you are in the storm of a hellish relationship with a crack addict that your inner strengths and weaknesses are surfacing with each wave of manipulation, trial and tribulation. You reach a point where you know that if God doesn't help you -nobody else can.You realize a defiant truth-YOU ARE NOT GOD AND YOU CAN'T SAVE NOR CHANGE ANYBODY!!!!!!!! Oh yeah, praise God, this is where you humble yourself under the mighty hand of God and He is the one who will exalt you in the right time. Don't give up and don't you give in. Yes, it was wrong the hurtful things you've been through but the keyword here is THROUGH. You have made progress in coming out- the mere fact that you went on the internet is a shift in the direction of freedom. I almost lost my mind medically because for the first 2 years of my remarriage to my crack addict I didn't know the ways and character of crack addicts and we fought constantly. We had the
police station at our house all the time because he would get violent and I would just get tired of physically fighting so I would call this the police. Of course, yours truly or his mom woulld pay the fine and get him out.And thus the rollercoaster would begin two days later and it was up and down, up and down until Dec. 2006 until today. I realized that this lifestyle was desirable for him-he liked it, he enjoyed it and he didn't want to let it go BUT I wasn't even a factor in his decision. So I began to put myself in the equation of life-MY LIFE. When you begin to think for yourself-please be prepared for him or her to all of a sudden get all religious and manipulative on you. But you have the trunk card if you didn't know it. You seek out someone you can confide in. By now you know who it is and it might help if you don't tell his family members I don't care how close you all are your plans.WHY?
Because you have been dealing with him all this time and they were on the outside looking in, okay.? He was YOUR problem. It was YA'LL'S business/mess to deal with. Well, when they began to see that He will become the FAMILY PROBLEM they will turn on you and make you feel guilty. So I already went through that already and so I am here to pass that on to all that might have not thought of this outcome. All of a sudden its You against the sick one. Be wise. Be discreet. Be about getting yourself some help.We need each other to make it because it strengthens someone else who might get broadisided by all this crazy stuff. I am yet pressing and I encourage myself daily. By faith, I AM OUTTA THIS MESS and my future, your future, our future is soooooo bright
we have to wear shades. Take care.
police station at our house all the time because he would get violent and I would just get tired of physically fighting so I would call this the police. Of course, yours truly or his mom woulld pay the fine and get him out.And thus the rollercoaster would begin two days later and it was up and down, up and down until Dec. 2006 until today. I realized that this lifestyle was desirable for him-he liked it, he enjoyed it and he didn't want to let it go BUT I wasn't even a factor in his decision. So I began to put myself in the equation of life-MY LIFE. When you begin to think for yourself-please be prepared for him or her to all of a sudden get all religious and manipulative on you. But you have the trunk card if you didn't know it. You seek out someone you can confide in. By now you know who it is and it might help if you don't tell his family members I don't care how close you all are your plans.WHY?
Because you have been dealing with him all this time and they were on the outside looking in, okay.? He was YOUR problem. It was YA'LL'S business/mess to deal with. Well, when they began to see that He will become the FAMILY PROBLEM they will turn on you and make you feel guilty. So I already went through that already and so I am here to pass that on to all that might have not thought of this outcome. All of a sudden its You against the sick one. Be wise. Be discreet. Be about getting yourself some help.We need each other to make it because it strengthens someone else who might get broadisided by all this crazy stuff. I am yet pressing and I encourage myself daily. By faith, I AM OUTTA THIS MESS and my future, your future, our future is soooooo bright
we have to wear shades. Take care.
wow..your post hit home..HARD!! i have decided today to STOP living his life of addiction..i cannot save him anymore and i need to work on myself. i lost all self esteem and confidence from my situation. i need to free myself from this marriage. so i have decided to start going to nar-anon meetings and get some support...
Thank you so much. I will do that. I will let you know what happens. Do pray for my family and GOD bless you for your time.
It will help you know that you aren't alone. It will help you understnad the disease more. It will help you have a life even if those around you are using. It will help you to detach so that their moods don't become your moods, so that you can stop trying to fix something you have no power to fix and so you can start living your life for oyu rather than living your life for the addict.
I will pray for you.......
Google al a non and find a meeting in your area. You don't have to speak if you don't want to. Go and listen. It's worth a shot. It's a fmaily disease and everyone in the addict's life is affected one way or another.
I will pray for you.......
Google al a non and find a meeting in your area. You don't have to speak if you don't want to. Go and listen. It's worth a shot. It's a fmaily disease and everyone in the addict's life is affected one way or another.
Thank you for your help. So AL A NON can help me with drug addiction in my family? I said I never wanted to be like my mother and fight it everyday. I could not help her. It is great to know that I am not alone
PLEASE try and attend an AL A NON meeting. You can learn how to detach with love and live your life DESPITE what the addict (s) in your life are doing and despite whether they are active or not. Stopping the physical use of a drug or alcohol is only the first part of recovery, the next part, the part that KEEPS someone sober not just clean is the part that is the hardest and the part that takes the most amount of physical and emotional energy. That comes after the physical usage stops and since it's a family disease, if one gets better, you haev a better chance of others getting better as well. If for nothing else, AL A NON can help you come to terms with the disease, understand it better and connect with parents and wives of addicts so you know that you're not alone.....
As an addict/alcoholic, daughter of an addict/alcoholic and wife of one, I know that it saved me. I go to BOTH AA and AL A NON. Now, I know that their problems are not and do not have to be MINE. I have my own issues to deal with.
As an addict/alcoholic, daughter of an addict/alcoholic and wife of one, I know that it saved me. I go to BOTH AA and AL A NON. Now, I know that their problems are not and do not have to be MINE. I have my own issues to deal with.
melacholy.....
This is an old post. It will get buried and people may not see it. You need to start your own post. Go to the top of this page...hit the "post a question" button and follow the instructions. OK? Hope to see your new post.
This is an old post. It will get buried and people may not see it. You need to start your own post. Go to the top of this page...hit the "post a question" button and follow the instructions. OK? Hope to see your new post.
Sorry my computer is acting freaky. The reason I am concerned is because he likes to have weird sex when he is high. I found out a year ago that he has a problem with crack. I do not know how long he has been using. He was a truck driver for ten years and I thought he was clean but am not sure now. He now works at a local trucking company. I would find sex tapes in his big truck when he came home. Now I am thinking that he has been doing things on the road. His sister is a co-crack smoker. She and I do not get along. A few weeks ago his sister and him went on an over night binge I guess. She told me that my husband wanted her to participate in weird sex acts with African American people. It really freaked me out because he has tried to get me to do stuff with African American people also. I would not do it. He has always wanted to do weird stuff. I have participated but not with other people. I caught him at a African American house last night. I pitched a fit to get him home. I am worried because he has not wanted to do any thing weird with me and if he has been smoking crack, who has he been with. I also know if I leave him he will wind up in the gutter. This situation is making me so depressed. It is keeping me from concentrating on my job. My deceased mother was a prescription drug addict. My oldest son had or still has a drug problem. What am I to do? Someone please help me. I am losing my mind.
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