Dating Oxycontin IV User

[Escrazy]

OK guys I need some advice.  I am dating someone that IV's oxycontin.  It scares me quite a bit.  I am the only person he has told and feel a certain sick pride in that.  Sometimes I think I should cut it loose but, I guess the question is, do you think I am helping him by being there and being someone he can be honest with, or is it just doomed to failure and am I wasting time on someone that will end up hurting me in some way or another?

By the way, he buys them illegally, so no prescription.  Takes 1 or 2 a day-highest dose possible.

[KiaKaha]

If you were married with kids it may be different but....I have to say from my experieince as a wife of a recovering addict...it changes things on so many levels.  You become the carer and the dynamics of the relationship change. Opiates affect intimacy...it'll soon be non-existant. Using it IV he'll need to keep increasing his usage just to combat the withdrawals...it's a horrible thing to watch someone you care about go through.
I had no idea my hubby was using until he told me!!! But he stopped on that day and went on the methadone programme. I don't think I could've stayed knowing he was injecting himself...it broke my heart when I found out but he chose to get clean and I chose to support him and keep our family together.  It was a two way street!!!
There's no doubt he probably is a wonderful guy but he has a disease that at the moment is robbing himself of life and will soon start to rob you too if you stay....
I hope this helps and you take care of YOU :o)

[Escrazy]

Thanks Guys,
I guess I needed to hear that!  It seems harsh to give up on someone but I guess he is giving up on himself.  When you put it into the legal perspective it really hit home for me.  I guess I was overlooking the fact that he is committing a felony every day.  Holy ****!  In regards to him quitting, he has before for a couple of years and started back up recently, in the last year.  Sooo sadly he can quit, and is choosing not to.

It's sad that people put themselves in a situation that makes them unloveable, when they are obviously in pain and seeking some validation, or comfort or something!  I wish I understood it more?  Anyway, Thanks again for taking the time!!!!

[Gpison]

As GA Guy said, It makes a huge difference in recovery, but right now, I would tend to look at it more like you are enabling him, thats why I asked if he wanted to quit. There is nothing that is "OK" with what he is doing. He is committing a felony on a daily basis. An addict will never keep things in check, they will never care for family, friends or loved ones while they are using. I dont mean to sound so harsh, but you sound like a very nice person and being with a full blown addict will be, not can be, but will be a rough ride and it will most definately force you to make a descision sooner or later.

I wish you the best...

[Escrazy]

He is not mean.  He is a very nice and I know he tries to keep me as far from that part of his life as possible.  Other than talking about it.  I think he is a bit numb emotionally, but he makes a lot of effort to care about what is going on in my life.

I know he was really embarrassed to tell me too, but now that he has he tells me everything.  Sometimes I worry when he tells me he needs some and doesn't have money that he expects me to give him money, but I don't.  I always wonder if he will get mad at me or something, he never does!

I guess for an addict he is pretty respectful and nice...  weird, lol.  I guess that is why I struggle with the thought of not being there for him.

[whitie]

I think you should try and be there...........the hardest part for me was to tell my friends I've spun out, which I now use as support and they care. him telling you means hes aware hes messed up.

It does not hurt to try and I have not heard you say hes a mean **** or other messed up stuff.

[GA Guy]

It makes a huge difference if he's in recovery. Speaking as an addict myself...when I was in active addiction..I could have cared less.