Day 2 - Sort Of

[Sean5110]

Yesterday morning I took my last hydro and then went to start a detox program using buprenorphine (I took the two too close together and for a few hours there, it was mighty scary). But things calmed down. The clinic also gave some supplements and a couple of these came in handy last night for a pretty restful sleep: clonidine and doxepin (others were given but I didn't use any: motrin 800, flexeril and donnatal). I will go and get my second of five doses of bup this morning. By Friday, the bup doses will be done but I'll still have some of the other meds mentioned above for following days.

But here is what I want to say: I just know that now is the time to quit. period. I do not doubt that this is the moment and I have to seize onto it for all it is worth. It is true that the mental part of withdrawal is the hardest. I remember on a recent post bmac (Bill) mentioned that during the first days he was always on the brink of tears (he wasn't proud of the fact, nor am I given that I am a 37 year old man with a job and family and just can't live live on the edge of emotional gushing). But I know exactly what he was talking about and I'm there again.

It is difficult to do anything at work, and frankly, that doesn't go over well here. My body is a lead weight and theres a damp towel stuffed tight into my head. I apologize for these downer posts but this is the only place I can concretely communicate my situation to others. Thank you all so much for your support. If you are the praying type, please remember me in the coming days.

Thanks,
Sean

[groovygirl]

are you talking about me?  what does that mean?

[Chezz]

LilMermaid,

Groovy is the body bender. ;)
Chezz

[athena]

Glad you feel more human today.It only gets better from here on.Dont worry if you still have crying spells.I still do it.I think the dam has been held back for too long.I also think tears help flush out our system.I dont do yoga but I should.I think it would help.Sometimes I go to a site called Ishaah.There are breathtaking water and snow applets.Wolves,cottages etc. The music with each applet is really calming and peaceful.If you enjoy the site,I can give you a lot more.I also have a screensaver that is a coral reef with fish,whales turtles etc.It has the most beautiful whale sounds.SOOOOOOOOOO soothing.I absolutely love nature,it helps me get lost in my own thoughts for a while.Your doing great.Im here if you need someone to talk to.

pixi

[lilmermaid]

Hi Pixi, So far going pretty well today. Hey I'm not crying. :-) Just finished a nice long soak (I have my own recipe for soaking using epsom salts and oils), cleaned myself up and I feel better today! Hubby's coming in and that makes it good. :-) Only had 20 mg. oxy. today so far. I used the Thomas Recipe this morning and did surely feel alittle pep of energy! It didn't seem to bother the meds I had to take this morning. No counteraction. I'm still waiting on the Yoga tapes I ordered to come in. Was it you that told me you do Yoga?  Day 8 is feeling just okay today and that's a good thing! yea baby!

[athena]

What can I say,I have a very talented cat lol She is soooo jealous of this computer.It never fails,when I start typing,she wants attention lol Hey,maybe your cat can type my cat a message...What do you think they would say about us other than the obvious......Were NUTS

Maybe they would say GO VOLS!

pixi

[bmac]

Did I read the post right,you have a cat that types?
UH!!!!I didn't know you could teach a cat to type.Amazing animals tonight,pixi's typing cat.
Oh now I get it,your cat hit the 'post it now' button.Man,I need
to stop smoking this crack stuff,lol
Anyway I thought it was funny as I was watching my cat type this out to ya!!!
                  'Roll Tide'
                      bmac