Day 46...Give UP

[hlpplse]

It is day 46 and I am soooo *&*&**ing tired. the past 2 days have been horrible. My heart is pounding so much it wakes me up and it takes hours to get to sleep for a few hours. I am just so tired of this process. I cant believe I am on day 46 and I am still dealing with this &*it. I still cant sleep through the night.
I know I should be Thankful that I am not shaky and the depression is gone, but 46 days I don't think I can take much longer. I know I cant do a year. 60 days is my breaking point. When will the heart pounding adrenaline surges stop!!!
Thanks I am Overwhelmed

[dominosarah]

Congrats on 47 days!!!   Stay in the day, the moment or whatever it takes to get you thru.  Happy sneezing!!!

[hlpplse]

Thank You I'm just starting day 47 Thank You all for helping me through the day. It also helps to hear that my symptoms are normal at this point.  God Bless you all you all are my angels. I'm gonna keep pushing on.  Thank You

[ricart70]

Don't give up friend. You will wish that you hadn't if you do. It just takes time and it almost always takes at least 90 days for things to level out. Hang in there. I know the reason why I relapse has a lot to do with me feeling like I was entitled to feel better than I did at a particular point in my clean time. I am even talking at almost 3 years in I was thinking "I should not have to feel this way  "    
Anyway I was also just wondering ,is there anything as far as diet,exercise or your daily schedule that you could modify and see if that helps this anxiety. Do you have PTSD by any chance ?  I was just trying to throw out some suggestions that you could research diet and things like that and maybe that could keep you busy while at the same time working to solve this temporary problem.
I also just want to say that if you can do the first 40 days (and you already have) then you can definitely keep going and do 90. Also as said above,scheduling a relapse is never a good thing because that gives our addictive mind the ammo it needs and believe me if we schedule a relapse will be sure to make THAT appointment.   Hang in there friend  ;)

[gnarly_1]

HI coming off pillls can be ruff going for some the younger you are the ezer it is. Try not to get discouraged every day is a victory you can and will do this just dont pick up trying to make yourself feel better .What your experiencing is fairly common just hang in ther have you thought abnout trying out N/A meetings they help me a lot give them a try people there will know exactly what your going threw it helps to not be alone in this good luck and God bless......Gnarly

[OxyTired]

I am only on day 14 of being clean from Oxy and this morning was rough for me. No energy rotten mood. Sat on the couch until noon. Really feeling sorry for myself.
Got really tired of all that, so went the pool at the athletic club I go to and worked out/swam for 20 minutes. I have to be really careful because my back is messed up.
Had a fine time! Before I needed an Oxy buzz to get me moving. It was so nice to be doing my thing splashing around in the pool just enjoying the moment.
Getting home I got my box guitar out. I am going to play after posting. Never played much while drugged up. Too lazy, just wanted to sit around in the glow.
Hlppse, you are doing so well at 46 days!! Like the song says, "Some days are diamonds, and some days are stone." I drew a rock this morning, but have not given up on a diamond.
Keep up the good fight!

[ariley13]

I just wanted to share with you what happened to me yesterday. I was hit with cravings out of the blue that totally knocked me on my a$$! I was also dealing with a lot of emotional stuff. I IMMEDIATELY reached out. It took a dear friend of mine holding my hand all day to get me through. Thank goodness I reached out. Otherwise who knows what might have happened. I might have thrown almost 3 months down the drain. Prepare. Have a plan in place. Reach out when you need to. Like I said before. We all have bad days. Hang in there my friend. Tomorrow is a new day!

[LostNoMore]

I was like you at 40-something days. Anxiety, Insomnia, SO TIRED. When
will it end!! Yes, it does get better. Yes, you will feel "normal" again. One
day you will wake up and have a moment where you suddenly realize you don't need a pill to feel ok anymore. Those moments will become more frequent until you have an entire day of "normal". Like Kyle said, the disease is always waiting. For me it takes daily attention to keep my head straight.
HANG IN THERE. No matter what, don't use and you will be ok I promise.

[kyle505]

Glad to hear it. Our addict's brains never stop; even after being clean for months, years, it is always waiting...A bad day, a good day, stress, party time, etc. It will whisper to you, "one won't hurt. You deserve to relax".  The longer you're clean, the easier it is to manage. Hang in there. Set some positive goals for yourself and be very, very proud of what you've accomplished thus far.
K

[hlpplse]

Thank You everyone, you are right and I am not giving up and will not put a time limit on it and try to take it day by day. My mind is totally mind&*^*ing me. I appreciate your support on hard days like today:)

[VICourageous]

I agree with them all. I know you are getting frustrated really bad; this is a normal reaction. Please do not make a Time Limit. If I did this, I would of given up each month for the last 10m. The brain will play the taper over & over to use any excuse it can to use just "ONE". Fight for you Life and do not give in..Time is the Greatest Healer of it all. Give it time so you can reap that Rewards.
Bless

[weaver71]

I know the feelings you are describing. It took me a long time to feel better. I almost have up many times. I kept thinking I needed to find an easier way. I am glad I held on, so are those who love me and I love. I remember to continue on faith in my MH friends.  They said it was very worth it. I was tired of drugs, but didn't believe I could do it or would ever feel good. Those who make it all say the same thing, so I figured there must be something to it. Hang in there, don't limit yourself. Your brain will amp up the desperation at 60 days if it thinks it will get you to give it drugs. You can do it and will not regret any of it. Trust me, it is worth it.

[kyle505]

So what you're doing is setting yourself up and giving yourself permission to relapse. You've accepted it as inevitable, and with your post you're letting it be known that at or before 60 days you will use.
Seems silly to me...You've worked hard, are going through a rough spell, as we all did, but now you're listening to your head and have set a date to relapse. Honestly, I've been on this forum for over 18 months; I've read some really foolish things but this one goes to the top of the list. You're looking at all the negatives, building an arsenal of excuses while ignoring the positive things that you've accomplished. Your head is feeding you BS and you are eating it up.
K

[ariley13]

Amen to that! That is really what we must do. If we are weak, then we let everyone else be strong for us and push us through.

[Bon133]

Beautifully said!!!!

[Bon133]

Please hang in there! It will get better....i know youve heard all this before but youve come too far to throw in the towel. All that suffering for nothing? No way! Make it count! Were all here and weve all been where you are. Just take a day or even an hour at a time. You are in control....NOT YOUR ADDICTION! So fight it cuz youre fighting for your life!

[ariley13]

You are fine. This is what we are here for, and I promise each and every one of us has had a s**t day or 2 or 100! I have always had allergies and since quitting they have for sure been worse. I take zyrtec every day for them, and it helps some. If I miss it my eyes swell shut and I can't stop sneezing! Having those symptoms is totally normal. They will get better with time. For now, maybe try an allergy med if you haven't already.

[EvolverU]

It's worth it. No matter how bad it gets because at least you're feeling your own feelings & thinking your own thoughts free of the influence of opiates. We're just not really there when we're on them, eh? You should be proud of yourself. I think addicts who do this are some of the strongest people in the world. Hang in there. You're doing it!

[hlpplse]

Did you have the sneezing, allergy symptoms...I sneeze sometimes like 60 to 100 times a day and have a runny nose. I have never had this before and know it is not a cold?? I hate those pills I just want this to be over. I know I need to push through I just need to complain today, I am sorry to be Debbie Downer.

[ariley13]

It sure isn't easy! It's worth it though. Especially when you have the good days. Just think of all you've been through in the past 46 days. Do you really want to go back and then have to do it all over? You are free.

[hlpplse]

Thank You I am going to try to stay present and work out today. I hope this passes, this is the hardest thing I have ever gone through

[ariley13]

Please don't give up! Everyone has bad days, even non addicts. I am 3 days shy of my 3 months, and yesterday was a heck of a day. It happens. Sometimes it's a bad day, sometimes it's a bad week. Please hang on, because it will get better. Just when you think you can't take a minute more, something will give, and things will get better. That's life my friend. Don't think about 1 year, or even 2 months.WAY too overwhelming. Just think about right now, this day, hour, even minute if you have to. We are here for you. Push, push, push and you will make it through. I promise. Stay on here an vent all day if you need to. BTW, 46 days is an amazing accomplishment!

[hlpplse]

Percocet Vicodin withdrawal