Aa
Falling off the wagon for the hundreth time
I feel like I cant break the cycle, am I alone on this feeling?
I go thru this every month seems like. I got my script filled a week or so aga, 140 -10/325 percs. I went thru all of them in six days. This is the fastest that I have gone thru them I am starting to get scared of OD. The person I get them from typically is out and wont re-up until two weeks. So I have no choice in trying to get clean, this would be longest I went without them. The longest was a little over a week and a miserable week it was. I was spending $1000/ month on this poison. I just hope I can stay strong and push thru this addiction. I am on day 3 of being clean fing miserable. Sorry about being all over the place kind of hard to concentrate
I go thru this every month seems like. I got my script filled a week or so aga, 140 -10/325 percs. I went thru all of them in six days. This is the fastest that I have gone thru them I am starting to get scared of OD. The person I get them from typically is out and wont re-up until two weeks. So I have no choice in trying to get clean, this would be longest I went without them. The longest was a little over a week and a miserable week it was. I was spending $1000/ month on this poison. I just hope I can stay strong and push thru this addiction. I am on day 3 of being clean fing miserable. Sorry about being all over the place kind of hard to concentrate
I have made plans to go the next Narc Anon next wednesday I have aske my brother for help and he offered to take me so there is no backing out now!!! I understand what you all are saying. I have taken the first and second step by admitting it and asking for help from my brother. I feel comitted to kicking it.
That is the it has been in the past wanting to quit and it was more like dealing with withdrawls until I can re-up either from DR or dealer. I am hopin I can do it this time. Like I stated before something just feels different this time. I havent had a drink in over a year. I was starting to drink everyday and decided to just quit and havent even wanted one. Just wish the pills were that easy. I will keep posting and hoping for encouragement and feedback. Once again Thank you all for posting and showing support
I guess your next post will be titled "Falling off the wagon for the 101st time".
You've been given some great advice. Nighthawk makes a great point - recovery vs. out of pills. And you really need to stop BSing yourself. Coming here and saying that this time feels different, but then being unwilling to do anything that even looks like working at recovery tells a lot about what is really going on. Being ashamed to tell your doc, being a prideful person - all lies that your head is telling and you're listening to.
This is so frustrating. You are on the way to a very dark place, and you refuse to listen to the advise being given because of shame or pride. The physical part of detox is a piece of cake compared to the mental side. You'll get through the withdrawals, feel better, and start all over again.
You've been given some great advice. Nighthawk makes a great point - recovery vs. out of pills. And you really need to stop BSing yourself. Coming here and saying that this time feels different, but then being unwilling to do anything that even looks like working at recovery tells a lot about what is really going on. Being ashamed to tell your doc, being a prideful person - all lies that your head is telling and you're listening to.
This is so frustrating. You are on the way to a very dark place, and you refuse to listen to the advise being given because of shame or pride. The physical part of detox is a piece of cake compared to the mental side. You'll get through the withdrawals, feel better, and start all over again.
About Tylenol. They are now in the process of lowering daily to 3000.
Good luck to you.
Good luck to you.
It doesn't sound like your clean so much as you're simply out of pills, and trying to get through the withdrawal, until you can get more, and that makes a huge difference in your sobriety. If your intentions are to stay clean then you need to plan on getting clean, with rehab or some sort, and aftercare. Can you get in to see an addiction's counselor and then plan on NA or AA meetings? Are you drinking, because that often makes it impossible to stay on the straight and narrow? I wish the best and hope that you continue to open up here and get the support that you need. We're all rooting for you to get this right. I've got 13+ years clean and sober, because I did everything that was suggested by those who had walked before in my shoes. Have faith in us, we can help you to achieve long term sobriety too~ Please get used to reaching out, i'm only a message away~ LIz
I really want to. I am on day 3 and pushing thru the misery. I feel too ashamed to let my DR know and my supplier doesn't care they just want all the money I have been htrowing at them. I am a very prideful person and used to be a very strong willed person but that all went to hell in a hand basket. I wish I could take time off to go to rehab but there is no way that can happen. I am not sure what makes this time different it just feels different, kind of hard to explain I guess. The madness has to come to an end and I am the only way that will happen. It seems so much easier this time around for whatever reason. Don't get me wrong it is pure hell but I have been here so many times I know what to expect I guess who knows. It all feels so different. Thanks for all of your posts
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