Has anyone else stolen pain pills from family?...

[pandas42]

I need help in how to stop myself from stealing hydrocodones from my sister... Has anyone else here stolen from family or friends? I feel horrible every time I stoop to doing this but I cannot seem to quit.

I do not have my own prescription because my doctor will not prescribe narcotics. I room with my sister who uses hydros for chronic pain and she uses it very responsibly. Since I have chronic back and joint pain, plus chronic migraines and can't get my own prescription, she has let me use hers if I've needed it because she knows I'm in pain and she never uses her whole prescription in one month.

However, I became addicted even on a low dosage of an overage of only 1 hydro 7.5 per day, because it also helped my mental status. I have chronic depression, anxiety and panic attacks. So I started sneaking into her things to find her pills and one at a time, taking more thinking, "OK -- tomorrow I will stop this -- just one more pill..." I became willing to risk ruining our great sister relationship just to get what I felt I needed so desperately. Well, she found out she was missing some finally.... She hasn't been very good about counting her pills and I got away with this for months. She forgave me and wants to help me because she knows I would normally never do anything to hurt her. But I did it again and she caught me in the act. Again, I apologized and cried and she forgave. Now she's so proud of me because she thinks that this last month I did not take any without her permission....but I did....somewhere around 20 pills... So I've been taking around 3 per day (including approximately 1 that she gave me plus the ones I stole.)

I've stolen 5 pills between yesterday and today! Please someone, what can I do to stop this?!! I just can't confess it again to her....I need to stop this before she finds out again when she runs short at the end of the month.

I feel so rotten. This is so not like me to do this -- to lie, steal and deprive her of some of the pills that she needs for her health problems.

[GoingToMakeIt]

Absolutely not. I would never be caught ....oh well I did get caught. Never mind. We all have done things we thought we would never ever do. These pills rob us of our dignity among many other things. It is so good to be clean!

[GoingToMakeIt]

It is time to stop taking them. It is up to you whether you quit or not. At your dose, it will be far less difficult than most here who have quit.

[newgirl2708]

All the time. All the time.
You are not alone.

[duckandcover]

I understand how you feel.  I stole oxycontin from my wife who certainly needed them more than I ever could.  If you really want to quit then you have to come clean with your sister and make sure she hides the pills where you can't get tot them.  Preferably out of the house under lock and key.   Then stop completly.  There are plent of GREAT people on here who can help you with the path ahead.

If you have depression and mental health issues then you need to get some help.... some REAL help.    I'm confused when you say that your doctor won't prescribe you anything for chronic pain.  Have you had a problem with this in the past?  Are you under 18?   Just curious.

Just seem unusual.

[pandas42]

I think my doctor is just in general, very hesitant to prescribe pain pills. I am over 18  - 46.  My back problems and arthritis doesn't look all that bad on x-ray, but I am overweight and it multiplies the pain level. For the migraines, she sent me to headache management clinic where they prefer to use preventive prescriptions. Unfortunately, those rarely work for me. The do not like to use a narcotic for a chronic problems because of the potential for addiction.  My doctor did try Ultram, which caused side effects that I couldn't handle. It seemed addictive to me, also. Other arthritis meds do not help me much.  The hydro helps my pain and if I could control my use of them I would try to find a new doctor who would prescribe them. It's so hard to know what to do with the pain without becoming addicted!

I've asked my sister to hide her pills, which she has done, but I keep finding them.

[pandas42]

I'd like to go to a doctor for help with the depression and addiction, but I'm out of work right now and without insurance -- can't possible pay any doctor bills right now unfortunately.

[GoingToMakeIt]

Look in my journals for the Thomas recipe and the amino acid posts. Or just go to a health food store and buy some L-Tyrosine, B-6, 5 htp also SamE 400mg. All of these things can help with depression. Do not take them if you are already on anti-depressants.

[monkey231]

Hi.  Im new to the site.  But I read what you wrote about steeling pills from family and wanted you to know that I've been there too.  My mom had cancer, they told us she had 6 months to live, if we were lucky, and I was taking pills from her, knowing that she was going to die.  Its not because I didnt care, I loved my mom more than anything, I just couldnt stop.  After she died, I took the extra bottles of OCs and Diloudeds.  I still to this day feel horrible for doing it, even though she had plenty of pills, it didnt mean that I had any right to take them from her.  I dont think you should beat yourself up over it though.  I think that when you're addicted to pills, you do things that you wouldnt normally do.  It doesnt mean that you dont care about your sister, just like it didnt mean I dont care about my mom.  I dont know if anything I said helped you, or if it just sounds dumb.....But I just wanted to let you know that you're not alone...Its probably not my bussiness, Im sorry.

[pandas42]

Thank you everyone for your comments. It helps to know that other people have been down the same road and understand. I've got to stop the stealing -- can't keep up with the guilt and fear of being found out again. I know that I take a fairly small amount compared to a lot of people here, but the addiction is just as real. I also know that if I had my own prescription, I would be one who would be using several a day and running out way before the end of a month. Years ago, at various times, I did have pain killers for my migraines and found myself using them up way too fast.

[pandas42]

monkey231 -- Thank you for your understanding. There's no need to apologize for posting -- you don't sound dumb and it's good that you posted your story to show me that you've been there! I've new here, too. I've only posted a few times. But it seems like a very caring group of people who have a lot of good advice. Your contributions are valuable too. Thanks!

[worried878]

Yes...I have.....my grandmother was already dead when i stole hers.....have also stolen pills from friends while using their bathroom.....Once we have quit tho...do you think it is good to go back and remember these things?  I guess so...to not forget ever what we can stoop to

[spacecadette]

sounds like you need to tell her how much of a problem you REALLY have....you keep finding them.....means she's probably not hiding them very far.  Maybe she should have someone else to hold on to them? do you guys share a car? Mabye she can keep them at work although i know that's not safe either as there are addicts EVERYWHERE....I dunno...this is a tough one...one thing is for sure...you need to come clean and tell her what is STIll going on.....maybe she'lll have a better idea of where to keep them in order to help you stop....you are at a low dose and should have little to no problem as far as the physical wdrawl go's...I"m so sorry...I know how hard and how much of an ethical and moral battle it must be each day for you...I hope you can find a way to stop.....keep posting!! Were here for you!!!!!!!!!

[determinedmama]

i have taken vicodin for several years, mostly for back pain from a car accident, but then i was addicted to them before i even realized what had happened.  
i started the same way you have, 1 which led to 2 and so on... trust me it only gets worse!! do yourself a favor, stop before you can't, i mean really cant!!
with the amount you are taking your withdrawal symptoms will be short lived and not nearly as intense.the first few days will fell like absolute hell, but once you get past the first few days it will become considerably easier to deal with!!
please don't think i am discrediting your addiction because i know its real, first hand, but where i'm at now and what i now know, i wish i would have known before it got this bad!! i would give anything to go back to taking the amount you take.
look up pill "half lives" on the internet, it will exlain how long it takes the pills ingredients and effects to completely leave your body, i think it will definitely help you on your road to quitting!!
i also used to suffer from migraines, and i didn't realize that vicodin made them worse.
i have also found that migraines can be the contributing factor to back pain and other body pain. but there are some terrific meds exclusively for migraines that work wonderfully, and it usually takes trying several until you find what works for you, but when you find the right one it will most likely relieve all the other symptons that you don't realize migraines cause!!!
also chiropractic care helps tremendously
there are doctors that base their fees on your income, "sliding scale fees"
no income-no charge or your local health dept. can refer you to free or low cost health care.
please research pill half lives and check out your local resources to get medical care tht you can afford!!
also depression can make your body hurt, pain pills will not take that kind of underlying pain away... it only masks it!!
best of wishes to you and the journey which lies ahead of you!!

[suppdawg]

If you have legitimate pain the you must find an MD that will realistically deal with your pain. Beyound that you need to make the new guy aware of what has been going on so he can control you in a way that will not let things escalate. When I was a paramedic we would have patients complain that we took their pain meds when we took them to the hospital and kept them.  Every case was investigated an every time it was a family member who took advantage of mom or dad being in the hospital so they took their meds.

Personnally, I would quit CT and if you still have cronic pain in 6 months see a new doc. Make the commitment to only take your meds and only as prescribed.

[Flutterby111]

I stole 2 from my mother-in law, they were vics, My DOC was percs, I was mad, they didn't get me a buzz so I slammed a couple beers, it was noon.  I felt like an a$$.  More because I didn't catch a buzz.  And I had percs, but I was running low....  I'd take them from my dad, but would tell him it was for pain, in hindsight, it was because I was starting to w/d....I was so naive, I didn't know about w/ds until I was in full blown w/ds....dumb

[allaboutmary]

Guilty, guilty , guilty.  I am so ashamed of this but ...I went to pick up my mothers perscription. Found it was cough med with hydrocodone in it.  I bought a bottle of Robitussin and switched them.  I also refilled my mothers darvocet perscription 3 times while she was in the hospital.   I used to be so proud that I was such an honest person.  These pills make you do terrible things.

[luvmyfrogs]

i have never stole from family.. NOBOBY in my family uses them regularly.. otherwise im sure i would have.. but i have used people's bathroom and looked for pills in the past, never found any or im sure i would have taken some..

[pandas42]

suppdawg  -- If I tell a doctor that I've been using my sister's pain killers is it possible that I would get in trouble for that? Would she be in trouble for letting me use them (the ones that she has allowed me to use...)?  I'm afraid to tell anyone and get into legal trouble.

[pandas42]

Thank you again to all of you caring people! Your suggestions are helpful and I will try to follow your advice. I've already screwed up today and stolen another pill this morning... Obviously I have a serious problem.  It's so complicated as you know, when there is legitimate physical pain that I need help for. If I do find a doctor that will help me with the pain management, I would turn over my prescription to my sister to give to me as prescribed. But she will have to lock it up or something... I'm too good at finding things.

Someone suggested the health food items for depression, but I'm already on a prescription anti-depressant so I can't used the natural supplements.

Even though I've only taken 2 or 3 per day, I still have a lot of problems when I try to taper off. The restless legs and body aches are awful! I have RLS anyway, even without  w/d symptoms, so I think that's why I have it bad when I taper off.

[catmagnet]

I'm glad I'm not alone with this, I have stolen pills from my husband and I felt awful about it. 2 or 3 a day eventually leads to several a day, and I'm finding it just about impossible to go off these darn things. Maybe it has to do with the length of time on them. Almost 15 years around the clock I am really ashamed of this and I hate myself for doing it, but I can't stand the withdrawl either. I don't think anyone even knows what an addict I am, as I don't appear to be a "druggie', or maybe I'm just fooling myself. I wish I knew the answer, if anyone could help I would be grateful. I am not a bad person, just a real bad history of addiction. Never been in trouble with the law or in jail or anything like that, but I know I'm just hurting myself:(

[Amanda6900]

I would steal the pills everyday from my husband. Like you he does need them for his back pain and like you he never counted but he was always coming up short, I finally had to confess. I think that was the worst day for me. You are not alone.

[lostsoul2]

The only time I stole pills was from my own mother after she had foot surgery.  What a bum!!!  She got Darvocet and hydrocodone.  2 weeks after the surgery she said she only took a few of the hydros and was done with them.  A few weeks  later I ran out of pills and went to her house, knowing she was at work.  Sure enough, an almost full bottle of pills was sitting in her cabinet.  So I rationalized that she would never know they were gone.  I don't think she does yet.  But inside I hate myself and feel so guilty for doing it.  It makes me feel dirty.

[newgirl2708]

Sad/glad to know we're not alone isn't it? My mom takes quite a few for fibromyalgia...she takes so much she doesn't know how much she's taking..xanax and vics...therefore I go undetected. I'm so sly and smart aren't I? Yeah for me! What an accomplishment...I feel so proud. I sneek in, make an excuse, diversion tactics, lies, waste precious gas, time and effort. Time with my boys...so on and so forth. But, no one knows but me...and now all of you. This is why this is a good place to be. Every time is the last. I swear. As a matter of fact...Just last Sunday after church, I swear it was the last time...I swear...

[pandas42]

I've been so bad today... So now that I posted this topic and asked for help, I turned around and stole 3 pills -- just today! I am horrified with myself! I keep telling myself I will stop this right now and since it's the beginning of the month with her prescription, by the end of the month she won't notice a problem if I just STOP right NOW and then I would not have to tell her what I've been doing. Of course, that's if she doesn't count her pills at least for a couple weeks...  I want to ask her to hide her pills somewhere else, but then she'd realize I've stolen and if she finds out I've stolen 8 in the past 3 days..... well I don't want to risk losing my sister as my friend! (Yes...I'm risking that by stealing, I know...) Why am I behaving WORSE after asking you all for advice? I wish I could just run away and hide.