Hate my life!!

[bandnmom]

Can i just say I hate my life,except my kids. I was suppose to go to my sister in laws tonight for facials (my hubbys sis) and the hubby started a big fight with me. He's known about this for weeks. Saying he can't trust me etc. So needless to say I didn't go. Wasn't worth the fight. Happy frickin valentines to me! He needs to change. He's always been like this but now even worse. I'm not a frickin child!!

[bandnmom]

Sorry. Didn't know how to take your words. I'm use to being talked down by my hubby. Makes me defensive.

[zzzaaaccckkk]

Good ur anger. I was trying to get u thinkingvthats all. Relax. Being trapped finicially. Iwas saying things to get u thinking thats all. Iam tough love. My wife has grown as a person. N so have I, thru all this detox. She feels like an adult.  N now I have one less thing to worry about. Now I replace that worry with love n a small but growing trust.

[worried878]

My husband never trusted me....long time ago but reading brings back memories.....I finished school and then divorced him...we stayed separated for 2 years while I finsihed and he married his concubine...the girl he fooled around with while we were together...(funny how I was the one who was not trusted) she died last year of cancer...I did not divorce him until my school was complete...he owed me that...and I took it

[bandnmom]

First of all...I am trapped financially. I put my life on hold to raise my 2 small kids. I am not materialistic and never have been. As long as my kids are safe and happy that is what counts to me. i am not looking for u or any1 else to tell me what to do so i don't apprectiate the attitude it seems u have. It is called venting.

[zzzaaaccckkk]

Sorry to hear that. Then life to short.  Get out. Is that what u want to hear. Sounds like u can't take that final step. R u dependent on him. R u trapped finicially to him. Can't get out n support youself. R the material things like a nice home or cars. That u don't want to loose. Or the family. The kids.  If ur looking for this site to give u the confindince to leave ur not going to get it. Life isn't always greener on the otherside. Maybe u need the confindince that his behavior has taking away, so u can leave

[bandnmom]

Been there done that. And to be completely honest i've never done anything to break his trust. He is always in fear that i might. He admits it but won't change his ways. Been dealing with it ffor 14 years.

[zzzaaaccckkk]

no trust no love. I have problems trusting my wife. All money related, emblished stories. I don't treat her like a child anymore. But she forces me too. We had a big talk. I told her why I treated her this way. She understands now. Its hard to laugh withsomeone u don't trust. U loose ur best friend. U must have broken that trust some how. Talk to him. Marriage is a life commitment. Too many people forget that they said thier vows. Kill him with kindness. Try to wipe the slate clean. My wife hurt me I still don't trust her. But I've done way worse to her. Cool heads prevail. Show him u luv him. Build his confindince up make him feel n know that u love him. Talk him up to ur friends n family.  Make sure he over hears these words. Then u can approach him on his behavior.

[bandnmom]

Thanks so much that would be great. Thanks to helping me out during my melt down. For the first time in along time i feel as though i have people to talk to that can relate. Ya know?!

[Avalancheblanche]

It sounds like he is threatened by you.  Your kids need to be in a happy healthy environment.  There are options for you.  He is responsible for supporting the kids too.  I dont know much about it , but there are people here that do.  I will look them up and direct them to you.

[bandnmom]

yes and no. There are more days these days that i say no. I feel stuck. I put my life on hold to raise my kids who are still small. I feel it would be selfish for me to leave him now. I have no money put away, no job and no way to support my kids on my own. I want to finish school, i have 1 semester left to be a EKG tech, but he gives me a hard time about it. I know i don't have to live like this. I'm a good person.

[Avalancheblanche]

He is mirroring all of his bad habits on to you.  A person who is not honest does not believe his spouse can be.  It is too bad.  You do not have to live like that.  Do you want to stay with him?

[bandnmom]

Saying i hate my life was in a fit of rage. Hes always been controling and in a way i know its my fault. I should of put my foot down 14 years ago when we met. I have always been honest with him. My addiction was not ment to happen and he knows that. I take or should i say took pain meds for real pain. I have really bad arthritis due to joint damage from lyme disease. I am just sick of being treated like one of the kids. Even b4 my problem with vicodin he had trust issues but not cuz of anything i've done but cuz of things he has done in the past. He's cheated, i never have. He had a drug problem also in the past but he went and found the coke. I've never done illegal drugs. Its like a game to him, like i'm gonna do it all back at him to win. I'm not married with kids to play games like that. No matter how i act or what i say he always turns bck into my "dad".

[gizzy32]

for me trust is probably the most impotant thing in a relationship and something that is earned, yet can be broken in an instant.  being addicts we tend to get labelled untrustworthy, which at times is true, but we can earn that trust back. don't let this bring you down, valentines day seems to always be a bad day for me also. and you are right though, everyone should have time to do things they want without their spouses, in fact it's healthy, but i am probably the last guy that should be giving relationship advice, it is just my opinion, take care

[IBKleen]

I am sorry that happened but I have to ask: You really HATE your life? that is a strong emotion.

I hope it all works out for you.......

[allaboutmary]

I had a husband that could be like that.   If he doesn't trust you to go , then make him go with you........make him sit there with all the girls while they get facials.   He also needs to know that women need their women friends. We need that time, at least I do.  
  All that being said .....this addiction has put our loved ones through alot and it might take some time to build that trust again.
Ok, I'm sounding scitzo now, so I'll shut up.   Hope you have a better day tomorrow.   Mary

[VicUser]

Brownies, a massage and a glass of wine makes my wife happy when she's mad at me. Yep, I'm whipped

[Avalancheblanche]

I nominate you for the love and wisdom award tonight.  That was sweet and true.  My husband does what you told band to do.  He does it with such love and sincerity.  It does calm me down and make me feel like a heal.  Now that I am off the meds, it is way less thankfully!  

[VicUser]

I have been a jerk like that too, to my wife. Give him a big kiss and snugle up with him, tell him how much you love him, even if you don't like him right now. He'll feel like a heal for being a jerk and while you may not see it right now, keep being sweet and in a week you see a big difference in him. Trust me we men are simple creatures, love us, feed us and stroke our egos and we'll give you the world.

[Avalancheblanche]

I don't know your story.  Does always start a fight before you go out?  Are you clean now?  Were there a lot of broken trusts?  
If you feel he is being unfairly difficult, maybe you need to change how you react to his attacks.  If you always back down, he will keep on doing what he is doing.
Like I said , I dont know your story, so if I am way off, I apologize.

[Hizz]

thats to bad to hear, i hate ow people do that, i see it all the time, guys, or girls will be ok with stuff that thier spouse is doing and last minute change their minds, if  they really loved you and cared that you need to do little things like that to keep you happy then they would let you, and what they get to do isnt always the way is should be, everyone needs a chanc to be able to live alittle bit of their lives.. good luck